Am I the only one???

**busylizzy** · 21-06-2006 20:52

I have heard so many stories about women who were traumatised by having to have a c/s & I feel terribly for them b/c I didn't get the birth I wanted with my DS either & was completely traumatised

. The difference is that I actually wanted a c/s & was begging for one up until the moment he was born. Just wondering if anyone else has felt this way?

Liz

**Mischief** · 22-06-2006 08:02

I cant help with that, but I just wanted to give you a big hug!

Its not easy when your birthing experience doesnt go as planned is it?

**Tarnya** · 22-06-2006 08:13

I've never had a C/s but when I had my DD at 19 I arrived at the hospital contractions 2 min apart as they had been the entire 4 hours I'd been in labour and they sent my up to the actual ward, because I was going to be in labour for at least 15-20 more hours they said, 20 minutes later i was delivering my baby in the shower terrified, alone and ended up with 4th degree tearing. Halfway through my mum realised after going downstairs with DP to indulge in ciggarettes that when she arrived back I was still in the shower. She ran to nurses station and screamed for help as I couldn't move to unlock the door. The midwife barged in told me to stop being a hypocondriact and to get back onto my bed, I crawled to the bed with no assistancer from any staff and she said "I suppose all this fluff is so I give you an internal"? One 2 second lookj and she realised i had already crowned and needed to get to the birthing suite, i had my daughter on the trolley and as I said 4th degree tear. When asking the midwife why she was so neglectful my mother made a comment on what sort of a parent this midwife would be as the midwife said

" I don't care for children I own dogs"!

If that doesn't say anything I don't know what will, I really wanted a c/s for my 2nd because of what happened with DD but the midwife I had was informed of what happened last time and was just like a MIL it was great. So third time around I'll go natural again!! Anyday.

**Rachel&Emma** · 22-06-2006 10:49

Liz I think it's a choice thing and when your birth does not go the way you prefer it really gets you down. In my experience and from reading posts on here it all comes down to the way the mother to be is taken care of. If the medical staff show compassion and explain everything, then the mothers tend to be okay with the decision. Most of us who have had bad experiences have dealt with rude and/or incompetent staff. It makes all the difference. I had a pretty ghastly birthing experience but I know that if I was cared for better (as in nuturing me) I would have coped okay afterwards.

**BJelly** · 22-06-2006 11:26

Hi Busylizzy,

I'm so sorry to hear your wishes weren't respected. In my antenatal class, there was a woman who also wanted a C/S for personal reasons. It's bizarre to me that OB's happily force C/S on women who don't want them for their own convenience, but it's not OK for women to decide that's what they want for their own reasons.

I can totally sympathise with how traumatic it must have been to have been forced to go through a V/B when it was totally against your will. I hope you will find some healing through sharing your story

.

**busylizzy** · 22-06-2006 15:33

Originally Posted by BJelly

Hi Busylizzy,

I'm so sorry to hear your wishes weren't respected. In my antenatal class, there was a woman who also wanted a C/S for personal reasons. It's bizarre to me that OB's happily force C/S on women who don't want them for their own convenience, but it's not OK for women to decide that's what they want for their own reasons.

Bjelly - I totally agree. I think a woman knows her body & baby better than anyone & should have the right to choose, whether it be a VB or C/S. It also really makes me wonder why these midwives stay in a profession which they obviously don't like or have been in for so long that they have become so blaze about. Do they not realise the pschological effects they can have on women during what should be such a special experience?

Tarnya - OMG

You must have been so scared. What a witch of a midwife! So glad your other birth experiences were better.

It's been 18mths since I had my DS & I have started to heal. Talking about my experience did help to heal but since becoming pregnant again I can't bring myself to talk in detail about what happened the first time. This time I have found an OB & hospital that respects my wishes &

that I will be get the birth I wish for. I would still like to hear from any women who have been through the same or a similar experience.

Lots of

to all those who have been through traumatic birthing experiences.

Liz.