Help please!! Need advice asap

[justme77]

I used the "contented baby" book with #3 when he was a baby, and her approach is that basically its a wholistic approach to the entire day rather then just the night times.
for a 7 month old :
*they shouldnt be having more then 3 hours sleep during the day.
* should be having at least 2-3 solid meals a day
*should be having at least 3 milk feeds a day

its more about establishing a good routine during the day also.

*baby shouldnt sleep at all after 2:30pm
*feeding by 6:30pm
*baby should be awake by 7am to start the day.

i loved this book, and had a great experience with luke as a baby using it, and he is still now a non demanding toddler.

[sara86]

Cos my DD was 12 months when i did the whole tresillian controlled crying thing, the 'rules' might be different, im not sure?

With my DD the longest she ever took to settle was 45mins, and when it hit the 45 minute mark i would pat her to sleep - id just pat her bum while she was lying down in her cot. So i actually never had to give her a bottle during the night. Although that was one of the questions i asked them, so yeah they said dont do it for more than one hour.
At the one hour mark, get them up so they relax a bit and change nappy, sip of water or whatever to calm, them down and then once they are relaxed, start all over again. But if your bub is used to having 1-3 bottles a night, then maybe half a bottle for a few days so they are slowly weaned off IYKWIM.

So to answer your question.... i would TRY to resettle for up to an hour, then you can either -
> pat her totally off to sleep like i did for the first few days
> get her up sip of water/nappy change - cuddles so she knows your there for her and its ok
> Or if its getting beyond a joke and you just need her to sleep (so you can! lol) give her half a bottle.

That is just what i would do.... If you are wanting to remove the night time bottle, which you are, i would be trying everything first, giving her a bottle is your last option.

I know its really hard though, and terrible when all YOU want to do is sleep!!

When you go in give her a pat, and tell her "its ok, come on, its sleep time sshhhh" (or whatever you say to comfort her when you go in to settle her down), just make sure YOU are very settled and calm yourself! they can sense everything!!

And finally, if you really have no luck once you have tried, i would strongly recommend going to tresillian or somewhere similar. They are great, the people there are just lovely!
Best of luck tonight.... I know what its like, its really hard... im thinking of you!

[Mique]

Thanks Justme that is very inetresting, the only thing I am not doing there is last sleep at 2.30pm

thank you so much Sara. Your response is really helpful, and when she wakes I will open this webpage and read it for support! lol.

I agree with everything you have said. Unfortunately my DD doesnt like to be patted to sleep, if I stay there she wakes and gets worse.

So tonight I will do the nappy change and water thing. Then half bottle if she gets hysterical.

I will probably post in here in the middle of the night lol. I need to talk to someone at that time I guess! Even if no response, it is kind of like a diary, and when I listen to her crying I come on the internet. Only way to get through it.

Oh, I wish I could go to tresillian...but Im not in Syd

[Mique]

Ok well she has woken at 2am- a whole hour earlier than usual. And she is really upset! Screaming her lungs out. I am too tired for this!

[reAllytee]

I used the "contented baby" book with #3 when he was a baby, and her approach is that basically its a wholistic approach to the entire day rather then just the night times.
for a 7 month old :
*they shouldnt be having more then 3 hours sleep during the day.
* should be having at least 2-3 solid meals a day
*should be having at least 3 milk feeds a day

its more about establishing a good routine during the day also.

*baby shouldnt sleep at all after 2:30pm
*feeding by 6:30pm
*baby should be awake by 7am to start the day.

i loved this book, and had a great experience with luke as a baby using it, and he is still now a non demanding toddler.

OMG ...

I cannot even fathom the idea of demanding a baby of only 7mths old to starve itself through the nite because they must be eating that much through the day & also only allow it to sleep 3hrs through the day



I am sorry but please feed your baby, she is only young & she needs to be fed & she needs to be cuddled

Gosh I still often gave my DS1 a bottle through the nite at 12mths if he needed it & its only recently that my DS2 who is 22mths gave up a feed through the nite.

Not every baby is a text book child & sorry but them not sleeping through is normal, very very normal. My DS2 is 22mths & still doesnt sleep through & nor does my 4yr old for that matter !!!!

They arent being 'strong willed' or sly or anything of that nature, they are babies. Babies need to feed through the nite because they are growing & developing ! Not giving them access to a feed means depriving them of something they need to grow. Yes it may seem like she gets enough being that she has a dream feed but the fact that she is still waking then that tells me she needs it.

If she were over 18mths of age I would say yeah fair enough start getting a little tough but at this age ...

Wow.

[pegasus]

I reckon feed bubbas as they need it -but then again - I've never ff fed either of my children...

My thoughts - if the child is asking for food - give it...

Sleep deprivation is cra@p, but ignoring it is worse

[JadeyBaby2]

If she goes to bed 7pm and is waking 3am it's been 8 hrs and perfectly reasonable for you to expect that she is hungry at that time. 8-10hrs is the expectation for babies this age. My DD goes to bed 7.30/8pm and has her last feed right before bed time and wakes 4am ish - sometimes she has gone a bit longer, but there's no way she is going back to sleep if I leave her - even if she doesn't get worked up she'll whinge at 5minute intervals and keep me up anyways. Sounds like your DD is going great! Keep up the good work. By 9/10mths I bet she'll have extended that morning feed and if she is still doing it you can try address doing more about it at that time.

ReAllyTee - This is a pro controlled crying thread, sorry but you won't find anyone who thinks the same as you here. That's why we who believe in CC can come in here - to talk to others who also have done / are doing and believe in the benefits of CC. - I feel as parents we have that responsiblity to make sure they are getting enough sleep and learn how to sleep. I make sure my nearly 6yo who started school this year gets his 11hrs a night as recommended in order for him to function at as high a level as possible, and I believe it is only working for me because of my strict bed time routines and CC techniques used. Also, if I am to be the parent I want to be I need my sanity and to be able to function day to day.

Justme77 - wow - my DD doesn't fit any of that really! I certainly wouldn't expect a 7mth old to only have 3 hrs of sleep during the day and awake from 2.30pm - no way my DD would make it, I'd be trying to prop her eyes open with toothpicks!!! lol


My advice - DO YOUR RESEARCH. YOU know yourself and your baby best and there are lots of different CC techniques that can be used. Only one or two will probably suit the current situation you are in and what sort of a person you are......all the best.
I have used my comp as my distraction also. Works well.

Ok, We're going back to bed now. KUP.

[readytogo]

I feel you pain!!
DD is 4months and I have had to go back to work
she was waking 2-3 times a night for a feed and DD is formula fed. I tried the leave her or put the dummy back in and neither worked she got so upset she had the darn dog howling in the end too!
There is nothing worse having to get up and never sleeping more that 5hrs at time especially if you are back at work.

We changed a few things to get her to sleep and now she goes down between 7-9ish depending on her day and what shift I have to work, she will them only wake at 5/6 for her first feed. For the first feew times when she would wake overnight I would take out of her room into the lounge where it was nice and warm and had only the lamp on so no bright lights no playing very quiet and feed her once she had burped a few times it was straight back to her cot dummy in and light out. I found it hard to avoid 'talking' to her too much and after a few days she self settled really well.
The only thing i dont do is a bum change because she's in cloth and it isnt needed unless she pooped but even then she poops at 10am every day!

I also will leave her for 30min if she wakes before 4am to see and 9/10 times she'll go back to sleep till 7ish.

DD isnt on solids yet so cant comment there on how many bottles/solids per day etc.

I hope you had a settled night and if your wondering why I am typing this now its because I'm at work!! Just called DP and DD has slept from 9 till now and will be woken shortly for her feed and day care

[JadeyBaby2]

P.S. Go to bed when your DD does! Makes for a lack of relax time before bed, but worth it! Ever since I brought DD home from hospital I've gone to bed when she does and it's really helped.

[Mique]

Jadey she has a dream feed at 11. She wont go longer than 4 hours without a feed. Last night was 3 hours between feeds! I dont know any other baby at 7 months that cant last longer than 4 hours.
If she was going from 7-3 Id be more than happy with that. But she starts crying for a bottle at 10pm.
Jadey I go to bed during the day when she has her tiny cat naps lol. But at night theres no way Im going to bed at 7 lol.

Readytogo, there is a rocker in her room, so for night feeds I have always gone in there, no lights (just a night light) no talking and fed her. She rarely even opens her eyes.

So last night I kept going in for 1 hour, then fed her. I think if she wakes before 4 hours Ill do this. Last night she had a massive feed at 11, then woke at 2 !