Paranoid?

**Sheer Bliss** · 06-06-2009 14:53

I think I am being paranoid here, but I just can't help it....darn media...please tell me what you would do (or would think is ideal) in this situation.

Bubbas born at 35weeks, and are only 2.5kg, but doing well. MIL is planning on coming to visit in 2weeks (day after their due date) for the weekend. She is coming from Melbourne....and it freaks me out with all the swine flu there. I know in my head that it is very unlikely that she will bring it with her, and that we have every chance of them catching it locally, or catching some other flu or something anyway. BUT part of me wants to tell her to postphone her trip until it all settles down. she is the type NOT to listen to any warnings, and I don't trust her to tell us if she has been unwell or around anyone who is unwell. That is my biggest fear I think....other family/friends have stayed away because they were unwell (even just with a cold) but she wouldn't worry about it AT ALL. I don't like her much, so wonder how much of it is me wanting her to stay away v real fear of catching anything. I feel really selfish for even thinking about asking her to put the trip off - but we went through soooo much in my nightmare pregnancy, I have the overwhelming urge to protect theses bubbas with all my might.

Should I say anything to her?? (or get DH to say anything?)

**~Candy~** · 06-06-2009 14:57

I understand where you are comming from and I would be the same as you (specially if I didn't like her much anyway..lol).
It's not a good time to be travelling and definatley not a good time to travel AND be incontact with newborns.

I don't think you are being paranoid

**ManekiNeko** · 06-06-2009 15:00

Nope I din't think your paranoid she neds to respect when you're ready to have ppl there if she can't too bad it isn't her decision to make. You are looking out for the welfare of your bubs at that comes first.

**biscotti** · 06-06-2009 15:01

I can completely understand that. My brother is coming home from Japan tomorrow and I've told him NOT to come here (even bearing gifts

) and my bubbas are much much older than yours (2 and 1).

Tough one though because I'm assuming she hasn't seen the twins yet and is probably very much wanting to see them?

**Lukie** · 06-06-2009 15:07

I would be the same. Hope my in-laws don't want to come and visit any time soon, they have young kids of their own and busy lives (2nd marriage for both of them), so they won't really be the doting grandparents- they haven't mentioned visiting after baby is born... It really is out of control down in victoria- so yeah, I understand your paranoia.

To be honest, I will be asking everyone that comes over to visit us after bub is born to wash their hands as soon as they step foot in the door, and will try to limit close contact when possible...

**patsmum** · 06-06-2009 15:09

I dont think your paranoid.

We missed christmas just gone. My niece had had the chicken pox and even though its uncommon for a person that has had the chicken pox to catch them again it can happen, so for that reason, (incase my SIL and BIL had the pox) I banned my family from theres for 20 days. (DS2 was only a week and a half old).

I was/still am the black sheep because of it.

But at the end of the day my children my family and my piece of mind!!

I still dont regret it and I would have never forgiven myself if I didnt take those actions.

Your not paranoid and do whats right for your family!!

PS a friend of mine has flown to melbourne today for work and there is no way she is coming within 20ft of my kids for at least 2 weeks after she comes back!!

**Ffrenchknickers** · 06-06-2009 15:13

I think you tell them to postpone

It's not just the fact that they live in Melbourne, but the plane travel. They could be travelling with others who have just come off an international flight or whatever.

If it isn't absolutely neccessary then I don't see any harm in waiting.

**mim1** · 06-06-2009 17:53

Being that I live in Melbourne, I do think it's overkill. There are 3 million people in Melbourne and less than 1000 cases of swine flu and they are mostly in the Northern suburbs.

I suggest that you explain that if she is even a little bit unwell you don't want her to come until she's 100% well and to avoid sitting next to people with obvious colds on the flight up. If she gets sick up there she doesn't go anywhere near the bubs (or goes home). Oh and if she's had anyone near her with the swine flu she needs to stay away for a week to make sure she didn't get it.

**bubbasmum** · 06-06-2009 18:09

I think you have every right to feel this way. I think its better to have someone with hurt feelings than some very sick babies..

**little bean** · 08-06-2009 13:27

Regardless of the swine flu, I think it's really important that you feel ready for the visitors, especially if they are coming to stay at your house. Chances are you'll be very tired and possibly very sore. For me, I felt it was really important to have some bonding time with the baby without having to worry about entertaining guests etc. Perhaps you should say you'll see how you feel after the birth, and let her know when you're ready? I would feel differently if it were my own mum coming to stay but, with anyone else, I'd feel like I had to have a clean house, be chatty, make meals etc.