has alcohol affected your family?

[benzjewlz]

i hate the thought of being a burden on people but i think i need some advice.....



my dp has an issue with alcohol!!!
we both made a pact that come new years we would both give up drinking and smoking and so far i have held up my end but about 3 weeks ago he caved and has gone back to his old ways,he drinks himself stupid every night,he will get home from work or working at his brothers house after work and he will come inside smelling of beer and says a quick 2 min hello to me and the kids and then goes and sits in his shed and drink.
and by the time he comes inside at about 10-11pm i have put the kids into bed so he never really see's or spends time with them....not only that but in the last 3 weeks he has pulled 5 sikie's and everytime i had to ring in sick for him....we have bills to pay he needs to work,i am a sahm but i keep offering to go back to work so he can stay at home with the kids,but he refuses and says that he wouldn't cope

i feel like i can't look at him and i am starting to not feel any affection towards him....i don't know what to do.even our family day sunday has gone he is usally to hungover to do anything with us,so i usually go out with the kids on my own.i have treid telling him how i feel but he just brushes me off with excuses as to why he drinks....
i feel like im raising our kids all by myself.

a question i want to ask is "does this happen to anyone else?"

[crazymuma]

My ex DP sounds a lot like your partner. I went through a couple years of this and more - he did numerous rehab stints only to keep drinking. Long story - and not one I really want to go into full detail in public but feel free to PM me if you want some advice or just to rant ok

[Hokey Pokey]

I feel for you

I'd be telling him he has to get help

[JabberJaw]

Could have written your post myself, i recently asked my alcoholic DH to leave, The lies where getting worse he was getting advances off his boss etc etc. I lost all my respect for him, his attitude to the kids bothered me and other stuff too.

We have been separated for around 3 months and honestly i feel free and happy. He says he is seeking help, but i fail to believe him.

So to answer your question,,,yes it does happen to other people, but usually they try to hide the fact out of embarrassment and hope (that their partner will change before anyone notices ). My hubby is not welcome back till he is the man i feel in love with, not the man he become, sadly i highly doubt it will ever happen.

Feel free to PM me to vent anytime, i am going through it all myself.

[JabberJaw]

Also you can call Alanon. They can provide support for those living with,loving, or carrying the burden of an alcoholic. They can be a shoulder to cry on or a provider of information to help.

[Izy]

My DH grew up in this kind of a home. When he was around 12 there was an 'event' which lead to his mum and dad breaking up. That was the best thing that could have EVER happened to that family as his Dad wasn't getting help, and to this day is still an alchoholic and a drunk.

Alcoholism is a disease, and you can be treated, but it's ongoing and you need to want the help.

By allowing him out's he's going to continue to pretend that nothing is wrong. You are a strong and fabulous woman, And a strong and fabulous wife. Your kids deserve to have a father to match.

[Nomsie]

Alcoholism runs on my DP's family. If I don't keep him in check, he could easily go down the path you have described. And I have told him in no uncertain terms that I will leave him and take the boys. I know it sounds rude and awful, but it's about the only thing I can do or say that gets through to him. He may turn on me, but the thought of losing his boys usually is enough for him to pull his head in.

I feel for you, I really do. Chat with the other Mum's who have been through it- hopefully they can give you the support that you deserve

[wocket]

My dad was a very heavy drinker who often became violent. best thing that could have happened was the breakup, but that took about 10 years.

[A Party of Five]

Sadly alcoholism runs on both sides of the family for us

[Bexta]

I couldn't read & not post.

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. Alanon can be a help.

I hope it all works out for you soon.