5yo still has tantrums !!

[tommylu]

Hi there,
Well as the title suggests my 5yo is still having tantrums ! does it ever stop !?!?!
I just dont know what to do,he has started school this year and i think he is not coping,he is extremely shy and introverted,but at the same time he can be a little monster !and now it seems that he has "forgotten" how to do stuff,for example.
he was getting dressed by himself every morning now he wants me to do it for him and all he says is he cant or doesnt know how to do it !?! He gets very fustrated and starts crying/yelling/rolling on the floor if i dont help him or if i say,you give it a try and ill help. it now takes him about 1 1/2 hours to get dressed !!!even then im still putting things on him as we are walking out the door !!! I have 4 kids i have to get ready in the morning so you can imagine what the mornings are like in my house !!! i get up early so i dont have to rush but my 5yo is really testing me lately.
I have a parent/teacher meeting this week,hopefully she can shed some light on all this

Thanks for reading/listening. i feel better just by writing this

[the_queen]

You poor thing, must be causing you very unwanted stress

I've got a nearly-5 yr old who is trying my patience at the moment, she seems to be regressing a bit too. She's due to start school next term, and there's a new baby in the family so I am trying to give her a bit of leeway but at times it's extremely hard. All I can suggest is that it is most likely a phase and it will pass. Doesn't help you much right now though, sorry!! I think the meeting with his teacher will probably shed some light on things.

I have been no help at all with this post but just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one tearing her hair out.

[tommylu]

I have been no help at all with this post but just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one tearing her hair out. [/QUOTE]

You have helped me,i thought i was the only one with a 5yo who still had tantrums! Thanks for replying, i hope things get better for both of us soon

[the_queen]

I did think of something maybe helpful, although you've got much fuller hands than me... I get her to help me lots and lots, help make dinner, help hang out the clothes, help do everything. Might be different with boys, I am not sure.... I think it makes her feel more grown up, and I tell her things like "You are very clever at doing [whatever we're doing] and you have a great memory (even though that is a load of bollocks LOL) and you can remember things really well" etc etc. Not necessarily totally accurate, but I say teh things I wish were true, IYKWIM. Like, when she's being extraordinarily rude, instead of telling her "you're a rude little girl" I say "I love it when you remember your manners, you're so polite and you use your manners so well" even though it's not true, it does encourage her to be polite. Like I said though, it might be different with boys.

[kymmy]

No, you are not the only one
I have a 6 year old who loves to defy me
and I am forever saying to her, "you are not a baby"
She has tantrums every day

I am curious to ask you (tommylu and the queen)
when did the tantrums start?
Both my older kids were wonderful toddlers 18 mths - 3yrs
They were angels
Then at 3 *bang* they started having tantrums...
If it is any consolation
I have been told that tantrums are a sign of intelligence....

[tommylu]

Thats the thing i do get him to help me around the house,he is "in charge" of putting the dishes away and he does it without me telling him to, he loves to h elp me out. not even my 10yo helps as much(thats a dif.drama all together) we do spend some alone time with him too.
Thats what is so confusing,he can be the sweetess little boy,then all of a sudden he turns into this thing !!! and there is no reasoning with him.he just wont have it.so its hard to try to avoid the tantrum.
I dont really know when all this started but it def,was not because of school.
My 3yo has less tantrums and listens more, when he gets upset i can usually talk him out of a tantrum. i just dont get it

[FourAngelKisses]

I've got an 8.5yr old who still whinges, whines, cries, hits his sister, pushes his brother. It really gets on my nerves, but I want to get to the bottom of it NOW as I know that in 2yrs he will be at a really tough age. I know that he is very insecure and shy like myself which doesn't help. It used to be lack of communication skills that made him have tanties when he was little, but now that he is older, it is his insecurities. He knows what is causing him to be upset etc, but he just can't get the courage to talk to anyone about it.
He did get better when he started school though (he used to cry for 7hrs a day, we are down to around 1hr now). I am also using techniques from the Supernanny which are helping. And I try not to yell as much either. If he sees me yelling, he thinks it's okay for him to do it.

[tommylu]

We've tried the supernanny thing too but it just doesnt seem to work.or we were not doing it right, i dont know

[FourAngelKisses]

It takes about 3wks or so for them to realize that you are serious about it. It is hard to be persistant though when you have other kids to take care of and a house to run.

[bossoflatch]

omg!!!

I thought this thing only happened to me!!!

I have a nearly 5 and 6 year old boys - the eldest has turned really nasty lately and being really mean to his younger brother, he constantly yells and screams - pushes and shoves and makes a huge mess of everything.

Recently, when i take him out in public he is mostly good, but when we all go out - dad included he seems to rebel against him. His younger brother is always crying because he is getting hurt and getting really sooky (not that i blame him - he is getting picked on heaps!!!) and then I give him heaps of cuddles and the eldest one asks why he doesn't get them ( at the same time as the youngest - mind you i always make sure i give my boys heaps of hugs everyday,) and throws yet another tanty.

I found that since they have been on holidays the eldest one has gotten worse and i am thinking that it is a routine thing with him. He is better when we plan what we are doing for the day, he even reminds me we have to do something. But if there is nothing for him to do he is a real terror (i really do love him!!!) but there is not much else i could call him when he behaves like this ...

obviously, i then get the guilts because i feel as though i am being too mean to him and then blame myself for his behaviour, after reading this tonight though, i am hoping that is just an age thing