Breast is not always best

**Blueberry Crumble** · 29-05-2009 21:06

I am of the belief that breastfeeding is NOT always the best way to feed a baby. Yes, they get antibodies that are not in formula, but babies and children eventually build up their own antibodies anyway. I struggled to breastfeed my DS for 5 weeks and it almost sent me over the edge. This time round with my newborn, I tried for a week and could see it going down the same path. So I put her on formula and know what? I didnt feel one ounce of guilt

I figured my mental health was more important to her, myself and my family than her having my breastmilk.

When I bottle feed her I hold her close to my chest, and I get that EXACT same rush of relaxing hormones that I would get if I was breastfeeding. It is wonderful and bonding. I also get that feeling when I cuddle her close.

There are so many reasons why breast is not always best, but it is never put out there. I get annoyed when people say that formula should be prescription only- because stressed out mums would haveto try and justify their decision to FF to strangers. Great.

Anyway, anyone else out there who thinks that breast feeding isnt always the best way to feed a baby? What are your reasons?

**CrankyAndTired** · 29-05-2009 21:19

with you.. My mental health was a contributing factor to switching our bub over to formula... My psychiarist convinced me when he reminded me of the effects maternal depression can have on outcomes for the child,, It was better for my baby to be FF by a happy mum then BF by a depressed mum..

Its an important issue and there needs to be less pressure put on new mums.. I'm all for education and support to BF but not not if it means shaming the women who can't/don't BF..

**nothanksbye** · 29-05-2009 21:26

hmmmm..

Formula is a great invention no arguments there...

but it is inferior to breast milk. Thats a fact. Its not an attack or meant to invoke guilt.

If breastfeeding does not work then formula is the perfect solution.

I agree mums should not feel bad if they formula feed but I also think there needs to be more education on breastfeeding.

It doesnt have to be an us against them argument though.
We all just want our bubbas to get fed!

**treasurehim** · 29-05-2009 21:54

I was formula fead, and I turned out ok

I have the best immune system of anyone I know!!

No problems when I was little either..

**Fuchsia!** · 29-05-2009 22:02

Breast is always best for the baby, thats fact. But it may not be ideal for the mother to breastfeed their baby.

**HugsBunny** · 29-05-2009 22:03

You know what? I didn't feel an ounce of guilt either when, at 3 weeks I was sobbing uncontrollably, DS was screaming and there was nothing coming out of my breasts but blood, I sent DH to the supermarket to get some formula.

I wanted to breastfeed, that's why there wasn't even formula in the house. But it wasn't working. I agree, I'd rather have a FF baby and a happy mum than a depressed, emotional wreck of a mum and BF baby.

This time, I'm hoping to be successful with breastfeeding but I'm not going to feel like a failure if it doesn't work again.

Originally Posted by jaxcoop

Breast is always best for the baby, thats fact. But it may not be ideal for the mother to breastfeed their baby.

I agree that breastmilk is the best food for a baby, but I don't believe breastfeeding is always the best for a baby if mum is stressed and baby becomes stressed as a result. I just don't think it's a healthy thing for babies to be picking up on depressed, stessful vibes. I'd rather my baby be happy and fed than stressed out and getting nothing but blood from me. That's just my opinion based on my previous breastfeeding relationship.

29-05-2009 22:04

Hmm... this is making me take a deep breath - I think I have a defensive reaction to a statement like that. I breast feed - and I'm a firm beliver in breast is best... but... I guess you've made me have to stop and think for a moment.

I think I've had a fairly unusual experience of having a lot of pressure to formular feed. I think partly being a 'young mum' so my friends are not mothers and dont understand. But mostly from my inlaws who seem to think breast isn't enough and that my baby is underfed (which is painful to hear, when its sooooooo not true, but I'm obsessive about my baby and his health). I've been dealing with PND myself and I think... I think breast feeding has been a life saver for me... but I do understand that it doesn't work for some mothers... I guess my passion about whats working for me might lead me to want to encourage other mothers to do the same...

BUT honestly, if I was sitting across from you at a cafe and you were bottle feeding your baby and some stranger had the cheek to come over and comment, I'd fight for you!!!

I've had glared and stares and bad looks for breast feeding in public myself!!!

I think, at the end of the day, ignorant people will always judge... no matter what you choose... and... my life motto is quickly becoming "what other people think of me is none of my business"

So... *phew* I hope i got through that and stayed politcally correct!

I think good for you! Any mother who is loving their baby and providing their baby with the best possible nurturing and care is perfect.

**treasurehim** · 29-05-2009 22:08

Originally Posted by chel87

I think, at the end of the day, ignorant people will always judge... no matter what you choose... and... my life motto is quickly becoming "what other people think of me is none of my business"

So... *phew* I hope i got through that and stayed politcally correct!

I think good for you! Any mother who is loving their baby and providing their baby with the best possible nurturing and care is perfect.

And I LOVE your motto, mind if i steal it?

**Sheer Bliss** · 29-05-2009 22:16

Breast is the best form of nutrition for a baby - there is absolutely NO denying that. Formula can never provide the nutrition and immunity benefits breastmilk can.

But that doesn't mean that breastfeeding is always the best 'thing' for a baby. Babies need more than just food to survive, and if the mums mental/physical state is being compromised by breastfeeding, then it becomes a costs/benefits analysis type situation. At what cost to the mother is it still deemed a benefit to the baby? A mother with PND, unable to care for her baby, pushed over the edge by b/f s best to feed her baby formula if it helps her care for her baby in a better way.

I think the whole breast is best does tend to make people defensive. More support to help people establish breastfeeding in the first place and work through any issues/fears they have in regards to it, is better than saying breast is best.

**reAllytee** · 29-05-2009 22:22

Originally Posted by jaxcoop

Breast is always best for the baby, thats fact. But it may not be ideal for the mother to breastfeed their baby.

And this is coming from a mother with two formula fed babes one of which I had absolutely no choice because whilst breastmilk is best & I could do it, his system itself cant handle it.