***Men Only Section*** (section re-opened)

**Mattus** · 30-09-2009 00:34

Oh. 'other parts of the Forum'?

Hmmm. Sad indeed.

On that topic, but not wanting to start arguements....

I know I don't visit every day, and I read but don't post a lot, but it seems (and I have to word this very carefully, because I know you can't hear my tone of voice and that gives it a lot of meaning) that, for a 'dad's chat' section, there's a lot of mums here. That's not a bad thing; indeed it's just a thing, good and bad, depending on the topic.

Mothers have their mother's groups, and playgroup - which I understand are not discriminatory by definition, but they're dominated by females, I believe. For meeting with other mothers, for discussion of baby-related things; be it the baby, or the parent's issues.

Generally, guys don't have that. Be it by 'traditional' views, or by personal choices, we don't seem to develop that instinct until we're knee-deep in it, if you'll pardon the expression. Males are not bought up to talk about situations amongst themselves, nor are they bought up to admit to insecurities or weakness in knowledge of all sorts of things, especially something that, for 9 months, we have not been able to see, hear, feel or touch. We're taught to hunt and provide, in most instances.

In the first 14 weeks of my little girl's life, I've been scrounging for advice, for opinion, and for suggestions which have been abundant here - the search function is great, which is why I haven't posted a lot. I've changed nappies, learnt that a screaming child is one of the most deafening noises known to man, and seen my little girl growing up - 3 of the most life-changing experiences I can remember. Then it dawns on me the things she's experiencing. The changes she's going through, and the slight changes I see in her every day. Wow. I'm absolutely blown away.

And that makes it sad to hear the guy's section has been closed. Sometimes I want to hear a guy's response to the things I have to say.

**imamumma** · 29-10-2009 12:23

i know im not a male but i really need a male's help right now.. so im pregnant with my first baby i have bn seeing this guy turns out he has a fiancee which im really feeling bad about because i didnt know at the time . now im 11 wks pregnant and he knows but i have to talk to him tonite and im so scared , he is angry worried and now he is starting to except that im having his baby any men have any ideas on what to say i need a male view on this cause im not one.. please help

**Xanthic** · 29-10-2009 13:34

Originally Posted by imamumma

i know im not a male but i really need a male's help right now.. so im pregnant with my first baby i have bn seeing this guy turns out he has a fiancee which im really feeling bad about because i didnt know at the time . now im 11 wks pregnant and he knows but i have to talk to him tonite and im so scared , he is angry worried and now he is starting to except that im having his baby any men have any ideas on what to say i need a male view on this cause im not one.. please help

He has no right to be angry with you. He was cheating on his finacee and helped make your baby. Only person he has a right to be angry with is himself.

You will need to work out (together) what part of your babies life he will be involved in and then tell him what you expect of him. Try be as confident as you can.

I'd suggest re-posting this in the Single's Section of this forum as there are others that have experienced the same or similar situation as you. Please start a new thread as 99% of people will miss this post.

**bigbadbrad** · 29-10-2009 13:50

Hi Imamumma,

Firstly Xanthic's advice is good so add your post to the singles section.

I think it is reallllllllly important for the both of you to make some important decisions tonight. You have to be clear and say that by the end of the conversation you want to have resolved A, B, C etc

Do not get side tracked!!! It is also important to try and remain calm (both of you) when you are making those decisions as they will have a huge impact on all three of you.

All the best
BBB

**Mattus** · 01-11-2009 22:12

Takes 2 to tango - meaning he has to accept responsibility for taking the steps he has.

Good luck!

**BiggerNotSmarter** · 27-10-2010 22:26

Hi all

It says the section is closed - does that mean we can still post??? Sorry I'm very much a noob.

Perhaps a solution re the private section is to post threads that make it very clear that you're looking for views from other guys, and try and ignore any nosey ladies who just cant help themselves??

Mattus I absolutely agree with you. I've seen my partner engage in all kinds of baby-related social interactions and feel that I've had virtually none available to me (I'm a fairly young dad so all my male friends are still many years from having kids).

**Myztik** · 29-10-2010 14:53

You can still post in the dad's chat area

**bubhub** · 01-11-2010 21:48

Section re-opened for a trial period.

PM bigbadbrad for the password

**Rider** · 02-11-2010 15:20

So is anyone orginising this dads chat? I have noticed that this is a very female orientated furum (i have no issues with that) and i was hoping that there would be other blokes i can chat to and hopefully get some tips and advice from a guy's POV. I dont have any mates that are in my situation.

I guess the main issue is that i wanted nuteral opinoions and not those that are modetated by partners/wifes haha.

Also there is not a great deal of info out there for guys.

Anyways if there is a group please feel free to send me a PM i would like to hear how others deal with similar situations.

As to the other lady that has a baby with a taken man. Well if you dont want him to have anything to do with the kids life then its easy just tell him that you will do it all your self and he wont have to be there, if you do want him to play a role in childs life then it gets a bit harder esp if he gets angry.

Also you dont really want to have someone in your life that doesnt want the same things as you. Sorry that is the best i could do, good luck