Settling issues - a child I'm looking after

**MummyGoingMad** · 30-04-2009 18:46

I have started an arrangement with a girlfriend where she looks after my 2 for a day one week and I look after her 2 for a day the 2nd week. I really want it to work out as it gives me a day free every 2nd week to run errands, do something for myself etc.

Her 3 year old is fine, she plays nicely with my 2. It is her 8 month old son I am having issues with. She says he has an afternoon sleep at about 1pm after lunch for 2-3 hours. She said he often stirs after an hr and she goes in, puts his dummy back in and pats him back to sleep.

For me, he has been sleeping 40min - 1 hr and then I cannot get him back to sleep. He screams non stop until I get him out of bed. I have even tried giving him some formula at this time in his bottle, have tried patting etc.

Once up, he is in a good mood for about 2 hours but then becomes very grumpy until we handover at 6pm and screams if I put him down.

This friend is very particular and doesn't want him crying, I have spoken to her about him not settling and she seemed very surprised and didn't have any suggestions, other than 'he might just know its not his mum'.

It is tiring me out and I'm starting to dread my week on... i have looked after him 3 times already and every one has been the same, including yesterday. it means i can spend hardly any time with the other kids and at the time i am trying to cook dinner etc he is screaming if i put him down (I have tried putting him in the highchair with food, doesnt work)

does anyone have any advice? Do you think he will get used to me as time goes on, or is he taking advantage of the fact that I don't want to let him cry?

Arrgh feel so clueless!!!

**JabberJaw** · 30-04-2009 19:01

My DD wont settle for anyone else but me either

Could you pop him in a sling and go about doing stuff? My hubby puts our bub in the sling and she settles for him and often drifts to sleep. I also use the sling if she is having 'one of those days' Could be the solution for now, and hopefully as time goes on, he will adapt better on your week.

8 months is a fussy age, they are wanting to crawl,walk,talk as well as teething and add to that the fact that you are not his prized 'mummy'! I think a sling or carrier of some type may be a good short term solution.

**mim1** · 30-04-2009 20:06

My mum is having the same issue. She looks after my son, my nephew (both boys are 2) and my 6 mo niece once a week. It's taken ages for mum to get my 6mo niece to sleep in the afternoon without fuss. I think today was the first time. I think it takes time for bubs to feel comfortable and for you to read her cues too. Hopefully she'll settle down. Just try & do the same routine as the bubs mum does before sleep (ask for specific details) and persist if you can.

**twotrunks** · 30-04-2009 20:16

If I were you I would shorten the day if possible... try having them picked up at 4 or 4:30 rather than 6. IMO 5-6pm is hard enough, without extra kids in the mix!
Good luck.
TT

**MummyGoingMad** · 30-04-2009 20:25

Originally Posted by twotrunks

If I were you I would shorten the day if possible... try having them picked up at 4 or 4:30 rather than 6. IMO 5-6pm is hard enough, without extra kids in the mix!
Good luck.
TT

Ideally I'd want them picked up at 4pm but my GF wants to go to a gym class from 4:30-5:30.... I suppose I could say I'm not coping but I feel bad.

The sling is a good idea, we don't have ours atm as I lent it to someone but will ask GF if she has one that I can use. I don't know if she'd like the idea of a sling, I'd have to ask - she seemed annoyed at me when I said I was having trouble, and it made me feel really bad like someone else wouldn't have that trouble