Our ex dp's want us back *vent*

[lil miss]

My ex and i separated in july last year (had been coming for a long time), we have a daughter who is almost 2. I moved home and started dating a wonderful guy who also has a daughter the same age. My ex left me for his ex girlfriend, and they broke up not long ago. My current boyfriend and his ex broke up when their dd was only a few months old.

Ever since his dp found out we were dating, she has been doing everything she can to try and get him back. She brought their dd up to see him a couple of times and tried to sleep with him the whole time she was here (he refused her of course). He has made it clear to her that he doesnt want be with her, but she wont give up.

My ex has been hot and cold since we broke up. Everytime him and his gf fight, he would call me and tell me he missed me and wished i would take him back (at first i fell for it, then realised what was going on and told him he had to choose me or her- he chose her thank god). When things were good between them, he would be so nasty to me, threatening to take me to court etc when he didnt get his own way. Anyways, they have split and now he is saying how much he regrets walking out on us and he wants me back and never stopped loving me. He also apologised for not being supportive when i m/c our 2nd baby (which when he found out i was pregnant with told me to have an abortion or he'd leave- which happened anyway). He's trying to get me spend time with him, saying his mates (who i adore) wanna see me as well (which they do).

I have told him repeatedly that I am happy in the relationship i am in and i dont plan to change that. I also told him i dont wanna be friends, that i want to get along with him but not be friends with him. I am sick of both our ex's trying to suck us in, but i dont know what to do about it. We tell each other when our ex's are up to their tricks, so we always know whats going on... its doing our heads in cuz we keep telling them no but they dont give up!!!

Im glad me and xdp are getting along but i dont like the fact he calls me everynight just to 'talk', and always asks me what my plans are for the weekend. And i dont like the fact that dp's ex rings and txts him flirting with him talking about her boobs and trying to sleep with him when im not around. I trust my dp, and he is always honest with me, as i am with him, but i dont trust his ex, like i know he doesnt trust mine. I want us to make a life for ourselves cuz for the first time we are actually happy with our lives and how things are. But our ex's playing these stupid games are driving us mad!!

[Issey]

Im glad me and xdp are getting along but i dont like the fact he calls me everynight just to 'talk', and always asks me what my plans are for the weekend. And i dont like the fact that dp's ex rings and txts him flirting with him talking about her boobs and trying to sleep with him when im not around. I trust my dp, and he is always honest with me, as i am with him, but i dont trust his ex, like i know he doesnt trust mine. I want us to make a life for ourselves cuz for the first time we are actually happy with our lives and how things are. But our ex's playing these stupid games are driving us mad!!

When I read this I just had to reply as this seems really crazy to me. Why would you talk to your Xdp every night . Why is your bf replying to txt messages, how does his X know when you are not around.

It seems to me if you want your current relationship to work that you need to cut the contact with your X's. Seriously there is no need for this. The only contact that you should have with your ex is about your child. You are NOT in a relationship with them anymore and you ALL need to move on.

My X and I only talk about 5min about our child when I drop him off on his visitation, and again 5min about what our child did or I need to know when he is dropped back. We do not talk about ourselves generally (couple of times there has been an exception but mostly just about our child).

I am not sure that I would tollerate this if I was in this situation as I think it is reasonable to expect you get on with your lives.

Don't answer your X's calls and your b/f should not reply to txts' they will soon tire of it all.

[SweetSerenity]

When I read this I just had to reply as this seems really crazy to me. Why would you talk to your Xdp every night . Why is your bf replying to txt messages, how does his X know when you are not around.

It seems to me if you want your current relationship to work that you need to cut the contact with your X's. Seriously there is no need for this. The only contact that you should have with your ex is about your child. You are NOT in a relationship with them anymore and you ALL need to move on.

My X and I only talk about 5min about our child when I drop him off on his visitation, and again 5min about what our child did or I need to know when he is dropped back. We do not talk about ourselves generally (couple of times there has been an exception but mostly just about our child).

I am not sure that I would tollerate this if I was in this situation as I think it is reasonable to expect you get on with your lives.

Don't answer your X's calls and your b/f should not reply to txts' they will soon tire of it all.

Yep we're the same

My ex and I used to keep a friendship between us after I left him but then it got too hard as things would get so complicated!

In situations where you have to remain in contact with the father/mother of your child, it is best to keep contact to a minimum and ONLY about child related things.

Anything else brings in emotions etc and complicates things too much.

You both need to start ignoring your exes and only communicate with them when necessary