I only just discovered this section of the site and really feel it's a place for me to be at the moment.
I am due for my second in september and have become so nervous and anxious about giving birth this time. My daughter's birthday was so traumatic, I had a long hard labour, was taking literally days to dialate, ended up very druggy and rushed into an emergency c-section because she has pooped meconium inside and there was heaps of it in the waters when they broke them. She was resusitated and rushed off to special care. I got to hold her for 1 minute after I got out of recovery then spent the next 6-8 hours sleeping in the maternity ward because I had been awake a couple of nights. I only ended up breastfeeding for 8 weeks and I feel this may also be because we never got to bond from the beginning, she spent a good 2-3 days in special care before coming into my room. It was worth it but now i'm pregnant again it has me dead scared.
I'm so frightened of giving birth this time, I even get panic attacks during the night if I wake up, I just want to have a nice birth experience. I'm not sure how I will be birthing this time but I think they will tell me to go for another c-section but then again i'm nervous of another one because ill be more aware this time and I hate medical things.. can't even watch shows on them.
I'm so tired of feeling so scared, sometimes I feel sick, breathless and like i'm dying because I get so worked up about it, it's really not a good state for me to be in.
I honestly don't know who to go for, for help on this, some days i'm fine and I feel brave and excited about meeting my next bundle of joy but other times especially when i'm tired I just feel terrified of it. Having another baby is forcing me to face my fears but I never really realised how bad they were untill I was pregnant.