My dp dropped a bomb shell the other night... he never wants more kids... ever!! I was telling him how I was getting the strong feeling of wanting to have another, and comes out and tells me that! We both have a child each from our previous relationship, and unfortunately, his ex refuses to let him see his dd for no reason other than she wants him back and he wants to be with me (immature i know). He adores my dd (the same age as his dd), and she adores him- he's a great dad.
At first he said the reason for not wanting to have kids is cuz he already has one he doesn't see, and doesn't want to be in that situation again should we ever break up (at which point i told him the same thing i told my ex- he's the father and has every right to see his child, i would never stop that. I would do everything in my power to make sure they had a good relationship). Anywho, after a bit more pushing, he finally admittied that he doesnt want another cuz he likes his life style too much. I asked what did he think would happen when we move in together and he's with my dd all the time. He said thats different cuz she's at that independant stage, and we can have more freedom, like we dont have to worry about taking all the formula when we race down to the shops and stuff and that sort of thing. Basically, he likes the fact that dd is old enough to pretty much do her own thing and if we go somewhere she's quite happy cruising around til its time for sleep.
My argument is that I do most of the looking after anyway- he works away at the mines all week, so i figure the weekends are his to relax and enjoy for the most part (he still has to help with lil things). He wouldnt need to change his lifestyle a great deal, as he wouldn't be the primary carer of the baby. As long as every now and thne when i needed it, he'd look after the kids so i could have a break. he seemed to soften up a bit then, and said if it happens, we will cross that bridge when we get to it.
I love him, and I do see myself having kids with (something i never thought would happen after ex and i split). I want this relationship to work, but Im afraid this is going to become an issue in the future... what do u guys reckon? Should I stay and hope he changes his mind? Or cut my losses now and find someone who wants a family like I do? I dont want to lose him.