Evil nasty sisters...

[Tammysgot3]

ok so this is a long story,

i have a sister, bs3, who only after ignoring everyone in the whole family for 10 years got back in contact. Things were great for about 6 months when my bs4 and bro said she was saying things. she would call one of us then call the other two and say things that were said but twist them to make them sound bad.

finally after my dd2 was born i had enough and when she called me one night i said " ok enough, i know you are telling lies, i want it to stop you cant come back all this time later and cause problems" needless to say she called bs4 straight away. so then she sent me all these long msg's saying how nothing was ever said and she thought I was causing problems.

bs4 stopped taking to me because she chose to take bs3 side, they tried to involve our bro who said enough, he now dosen't talk to either, they emailed our father and bagged him out, then got bs1 involved.

what a mess and this isnt even he half of it.
WHAT DO I DO???

[bgbgbb]

My sister (I only have 1 thank God) is quite manipulative too, but in a very underhanded way - she learnt that from our mother (who I know longer have contact with, but that's another thread entirely), so I know how you feel.

My advice, lie low. You've done the right thing in standing up to her. I'm sure it took a lot for you to do so, and maybe you thought twice about doing it previously. But we can only put up with people either manipulating or slighting us so many times before we have to stand up for ourselves. Naturally, your sister has acted to form and is causing even more trouble and conveniently now she has you to use as the reason for her wrongdoings.

So lay low and say nothing to no-one. Eventually it will die down and everyone will be revealed in their true light. But the main thing is that you have retained some dignity and self-worth, which is more than can be said for them.

[just her chameleon]

I have two sisters and one brother. I haven't spoken to them in over 6years.

My honest opinion? Cut contact. I've been in a similar situation and seriously, it's just not worth the sh!t involved. I know I sound harsh but I'm speaking from my personal experience where mum and I almost had nervous breakdowns. I was 13yo.

They have had way too much influence from my grandmother, the master manipulator. She told us she had a brain tumour, had only weeks to live. I could go into it more, but TBH I don't have the energy.

I miss them, they are my brother and sisters I will always love them and I really do miss them. But not enough to risk them f#cking up my family and my life again. I just can't risk it.

[bgbgbb]

Seeing as Chloe'smum has been blunt I might as well say it, I agree - cut contact. If the sister who did not start it all decides to be nicer maybe give her a chance. But the troublemaker sister needs to be exited from your life.

Also, see a therapist (get the medicare subsidised sessions referral from your doctor). It helps to talk about things like this with a neutral third party who is also a professional in these matters. I did and it helped me immensely.

[Tammysgot3]

My sister (I only have 1 thank God) is quite manipulative too, but in a very underhanded way - she learnt that from our mother (who I know longer have contact with, but that's another thread entirely), so I know how you feel.

.

our mother was also quite nasty, she has never seen any of my three. i havent spoken to her for 11 years, its just so sad people can be this way, the worst part is the sister who didnt instigate the problems is getting married in a few months and i am having my two girls christened next month.

now they whole family will be apart for these two special days.

[bgbgbb]

Tammy

It's hard when families cant function together. My mother is the catalyst to us all fighting. I often wish she would just die and then we'd all be able to live happily again.

I know what you mean about family functions. I have my grandfather's 90th next week & my mother (who hasn't spoken to us for 8 months, suits us though) has chosen to invite us. She has taken my grandfather onto her side so this invite came out of the blue. I'm only going to go because I know my darling Nana would have wanted me to, but I'm so not looking forward to it.

I guess the only positive to come out of things like this is that we try harder to be better parents to our children.

[WorkingClassMum]

Yep - cut contact - it's very hard to do, but you'll have peace.

I have just lost two sisters and brother and my father due to the same sort of crap.

But I have gained a sister and brother and I have my mum.

We are far happier and the stress of the unsaid/he said/she said crappola is gone