How pathetic am I

**Chunkydunks** · 02-03-2009 21:24

Looking at Becsmum's reveal thread has made me realise just how GD pathetic I am. She saw that she needed to lose weight and she's doing it and doing a fantastic job of it might I say.

Me I've been overweight most of my life. At 10 years of age I was in ladies sie 10 clothes. My size basically went up with my age until it stopped at an 18. I somehow managed to maintain that size until after I had DS. The january after I had DS I had a misscarriage. To be honest it didn't affect me all that bad because it was only picked up on after the fact. had I known I was pregnant to start with I think it would have affected me more. The reason I added that was because a few people in my life have suggested that the weight gain that come afterwards was an emotional responce. It wasn't.

It wasn't until march 07 that I found out why everything was going cray for me. My cycle was out of whack and things just didn't seem right. Got in to see the gyno and I was diagnosed with PCOS. Now I had an excuse as to why I'd gained 20kgs. I milked it for all it was worth. Oh and I used the "its so hard to lose weight with PCOS" one all the time. Truth be known.....I never tried hard enough.

Now 2 years since my diagnosis I've managed to maintain the weight but I've never lost a significant amount. On top of this I now have IGT and HBP. I can't fall pregnant because of it, I can't play with my son because of it and yet I'm still making excuses. DH likes his sweet food so I buy it for him....I also eat it for him. I get lazy and at the drop of a hat will say we'll have take away tonight. DH wanted a pie today....I didn't have to get one but I did. I can't keep justifying this. I have to do something about it. Yes exercise is hard.....but it gets easier. Yes the foods a bit more expencive (compared to ok but not ideal home cooked meals).....but its cheaper than the meds and doctors bills.

I've got everything I need to lose the weight except one thing.....my belief in myself that I can do it.

From now on.....I can and I WILL!!!

**DALLASMUM** · 03-03-2009 07:49

Well done CD..... You can do it. Have a look at calorie king..... its great for tracking your weightloss. and pm me if you ever need to chat, im getting there i have lost 12 kgs since about nov/dec. It isnt going to be easy, start by setting yourself a mini target, i use 5 kg as a mini goal. If i didnt i would never lose weight, at the start i had 34 kgs to lose, that seems so far out of reach, but 5 kgs..... I CAN DO THAT. it works for me. good luck CD, us wl people are alwauys here to help

**DALLASMUM** · 03-03-2009 07:52

I forgot to add my DH is a junk food aholic to its really hard he always has CRAP food in the house its used to be tempting but once you havent had it for a while it doesnt taste nice anymore...... my sweet tooth has changed a lot so.... you can do it even if he doesnt.

**Chunkydunks** · 03-03-2009 07:53

Well I kicked butt this morning.

I got woken up by DH digging round the bed and telling me he was just getting the dog. I listened to him come out into the loungeroom and stuff around a bit. Then he come back into the bedroom asking me to move over. Yay squish time

. I love playing piggy in the middle .....not. With DS's knees in my belly and DH pushed right up against me I couldn't get back to sleep. I decided that today was the day to start doing something about my weight. I got up and went for a walk. I walked down to the closest beach and just walked the length of it. Getting near the end of it I saw this skinny little thing come running towards me. Feeling some what envious I didn't really want to look at her but then I realised I knew her. Yes it was my new GP. She recognised me and gave me a big

and a look as if to say "I"m so pleased to see you out here". I was chuffed. That got me through the rest of the walk, which was far from easy. I'm sore but I've been stretching it out a bit so hopefully I don't get too sore. But right now I just feel like going back to sleep. I know I can't thought cos it won't be long before DS gets up and knowing that DH didn't go to bed til 7am means its all up to me......again.

**Chunkydunks** · 03-03-2009 07:55

Thanks Dallasmum. I could really use some support

**hailsntwang** · 03-03-2009 07:58

Hi

I've only just rejoined the gym and after each session, no matter how sick I feel or how much pain I am in, I feel incredible because I did it!

Walking along the beach is one of the best forms of exercise! Good on you!!!

If you can, invest in a protein shake (define, tone). Take a protein shake either before exercise or after and it can help assist in weight loss, due to ingrediants which are formulated fat metabollisers
(DEFINE women's high protein, is a unique combination of quality protein which may reduce body fat, tone muscles and improve greater health. Define has been designed to be used in a conjunction with an exercise programme and a sensible eating plan. Visit www.vitalstrength.com to download exercise and dietary plans.)

You woke up today in a great frame of mind. You may be sore tomorrow but remember how you got so sore. You succeeded in something that was good for your well being and your body.

It's only the beginning but a fantastic beginning at that.

Well done!!!!!

**DALLASMUM** · 03-03-2009 08:19

Book a time with yourself.... for yourself, Happy wife= happy life..... Happy mum=happy son. If you can fit in a walk every morning do it.... get your clothes out the night before. i wish i lived near the beach to walk along it, it would be a great stary to the day.

It takes a month to get into the habbit of exercising so maybe concertrate on exercise for a couple weeks then add diet changes then, so you dont feel over whelmed

you know the gp will be watching that beach to see if you are out there walking around, and now she knows you are serious she will be a great support

**LizzardLover** · 03-03-2009 08:20

Hi, I just wanted to say how proud I am to be part of the motivation for you to change your life

Please stick to it but remember that even if you only make small gradual changes, they will add up to long term benefits and ultimately results!!

**Chunkydunks** · 03-03-2009 09:46

Thanks Anne. I will be sticking to for sure. I need to do this for DH, DS and most of all ME!!

**Chunkydunks** · 04-03-2009 11:42

I got up and went for another walk today. This time i drove down to the beach and walked along it then back up the path. Still took about 45 mins but I didn't have to deal with the harsh hill that we have in this area. My eating has been pretty good too so on the whole I'm happy with everything. I'm still feeling VERY tired and I'm considering a nap shortly but that will sort its self out soon I'm sure. I'm reading my Dr Phil book again and looking at some shakes I've found online that as full of gelatin as some of the store bought ones. Also they're cheaper. Will cost me just under $200 for 6 weeks worth of shakes.