Any other shift workers wives?

**FourAngelKisses** · 30-05-2006 12:33

I'm just wondering if anyone else is married to a shift worker, if so, does it bother you or anything?

My husband does 12hr rotating shifts. This week he does Mon, Tues and Wed nights, then he is off until next week when he does Mon, Tues days and Thurs, Fri nights. Then he works Wed, Thurs, Fri days before going back to the start.

I've never known him to work any other hours so I don't know what it's like to be married to someone who works 9-5 five days a week or anything. I like the fact that he has 3-4 days off each week. He needs to leave here at 6:30 and he doesn't get home till 7:20, so it makes for a long day/night. The nights are the hardest though. He will often sleep until 3-3:30 and needs to be out the door in 3hrs so it is a mad rush of trying to do homework, baths, dinner etc.

School holidays are also hard, trying to keep the kids quiet so he can sleep. Generally they are good, but some days it seems like they push all the buttons they can. DH sleeps with earplugs in so I don't need to worry too much.

How do other mums cope??

**DB&O** · 30-05-2006 13:02

My DH is in the RAAF & has to do shift work, he works one of three shifts a week, either day shift (7am- 4pm) late shift (1.30pm- 10.30pm) or night shift (10pm- 7am). I'm ok with both the day & night shift, although I hate being on my own at night

but I hate the late shift with a passion. I almost have a melt down between the hours of 5pm & 7.30pm. This is when I'm trying to make dinner & feed & bath Liv, as well as clean up & then put her to bed. It can be really hard to do anything with a 1yr old attached to your leg & this is the time of day that she usually gets to spend some one on one time with her daddy, so I really miss him during this time, it can feel like your just going non stop for 3-4 hours & then just fall into bed exhausted. Then DH comes home & wants to chat & I feel like I have to sit there & hold a conversation even though I can't concentrate on a thing he has said, so in answer to your Q, I don't really cope I bumble through.......just

**FourAngelKisses** · 30-05-2006 13:08

I find my kids misbehave more when DH is on night shift. They can be angels, but the minute he walks out the door, they turn into these terrors. They refuse to do as I ask and getting them to go to bed can be a nightmare. matthew is easy as he doesn't have a choice in the matter, he gets put to bed at 6:30 whether he likes it or not. But the other 2.......

It is better now than it was though. When they were 3 and 4, I could be up till midnight some nights trying to get them to go to bed. They kept running up and down hallways, jumping out windows etc. It is hard trying to do stuff in the evenings with them hanging off your legs or misbehaving. Yet if daddy is home, all he has to do is look at them and they be good, lmao.

DH is great though, he will help out with the kids when he can. He cooks, does housework and still works those long, horrendous hours.

**Mother Duck** · 30-05-2006 13:16

Hi guys - it certainly gets tricky when these fellas work such long hours!

I am fairly familar with the shift work thing as both DH and I met in the mines where we both used to work shifts - BUT that was pre-babies!

When DH gave up mining it was to be at home more which is crazy, he now works even longer hours. He isn't on shifts at the moment but goes at 5:30am and often isn't home before 6:30 or 7pm - feels like he is away forever.

Alot of it is a streak of 'workaholic' which I am slowly trying to get him away from and more into family time.

Anyway I sympathise with you both for shift work and if ever you want to chat just feel free

**WeThree** · 30-05-2006 13:17

My husband works shifts as well, atm he has just done the first of 13 night shifts in a row, fun

I do find it gives me time to hang out in bubhub of an evening though

My kids go to bed well for me, thank goodness, I find the days when he has worked night shift the hardest, normal kids noises set me on edge and im constantly stressed trying to keep them quiet.

**Mamaduke** · 30-05-2006 14:22

My DH does afternoon shift. We both did afternoon shift before we had the boys (DH at Toyota & me for the Police), so it suited us both. We'd get home at around the same time and then we'd sleep in until midday...we lived like rockstars!!!
He leaves every day at 1pm and doesn't get home until 4am (does alot of o/t) so we don't really get to see him much. It's very difficult for someone to come home after a full shift and go straight to bed, so he unwinds by himself, and then doesn't get up until around 11-12pm the next day. So we basically have an hour of his time, not enough I say...but then again, I do think that some days he's happy to be walking out the door!

I've actually got used to having the evenings to myself. I put the boys to bed and even though I sometimes do get a little lonely, I do enjoy 'me time'...when DH is on holidays I find myself getting a tad irritated with the 'invasion of my routine'! - not to mention having to share the remote!

**Rockett** · 30-05-2006 16:24

My DH does shiftwork too.He does 2 day shifts,and then 2 nightshifts,and then has 4 days off before it all starts again.They are 12 hour days/nights and the day shift starts at 6.30am and comes home around 7pm,night shift starts at 6.30pm and he comes home at 7 in the morning,and then sleeps all day.
I don't find it a problem really,except in the morning he has a tendacy to be noisy and sometimes wakes DD up quite early.
Like coopsntilly said,it gives me more bubhub time of a night too!

**IAdoreYou** · 30-05-2006 16:47

My hubbie does shiftwork as well. 3 week rotating roster 8-12 hr shifts ... no weekend work though .. he will take it "if" there is overtime .. thats all. I'm quite used to it now. He also gets 3/4 days off at a time and seems like he is HOME alot and some weeks seems like he is asleep ALOT. It was very hard with a newborn as I was adjusting to the whole new "baby" thing .. and also DH needed his sleep in order to feed us .. was hard! though, we think its great now ... he sees so much of Brooke. I would not know what to do with a 9-5 husband .. I would get lonely as well. Dinner time and bath time is hard for me when he is away OH and feeding the poor cat

**vanillabean** · 30-05-2006 21:33

My hubby has been a shift worker as long as I have known him. He works in a mine and has the best roster as far as I am concerned -he works weekends only, one weekend it is nights, the next is days and 12 hours shifts. That is all about to change as the mine is closing and the job is no longer (a bit stressful, okay really stressful at the moment). I was also a shift worker before kids as a RN/Midwife, so we understand each other!! I am about to go back and do some casual work. Aargh!!! I don't know how it will go.