I feel so horrible..

[Guest1234]

..but things need to change from the way they are right now.
DD isnt going down to sleep til 9-10pm at night, and wakes between 8-10am. I tried getting her up earlier in the morning but it makes no difference in the time she goes to sleep. Im not sure if it has something to do with the fact its completely dark at 9pm? Stupid daylight savings!

Her day sleeps are great. She has two of them. She doesnt fight them at all.
Its just the night time. And Im sick of it. I cant do it any more.
So Im doing CC..again..in the hope that maybe it will change things.
She has been going for over a hour tonight already, and I feel like the worst mum in the world but I know that if I dont have time for myself eventually then I will break down and not be able to be the great mum that I know I am. Im at that point..again..

When DF is at home from work for the week, we get no time to eachother because she is awake til 9-10pm and then we go to bed. So I dont get time to myself, and I dont get time with DF. Its putting a huge strain on our relationship.

I hope this works, if it doesnt I dont know what else to do

[~Temet Nosce~]

I'd be inclined to leave her be.. I would kill to sleep in till 10am
If it ain't broken, don't fix it, sounds like once she is alseep she sleeps great. Some bubs just have their body clock set in stone.

But good luck with whatever happens, if it is really that much trouble for you I really hope she starts going to bed early. It could be the daylight savings thing. Do you have blockout blinds?

[cecandchels]

i had exactly the same thing happening to us with dd a couple of months ago. we tried control crying but i couldnt do it, and dd was going crazy. i know its prob not much help but one day she just changed, started going to bed between 8-830. not sure what changed. my SIL went to tresillian and they say that u can leave the babies crying up to 1 1/2 if it isnt a distressed cry (dd always sounded distressed to me so i couldnt do it, but i hope that helps).

also,i thought i would comment because i know how ur feeling with going crazy and having no time to yourself

[SuperGranny]

hi baby designer, I always had a fixed bed time of 7.30. It was not necessary sleep time but it was bed time. I have not had to deal with daylight saving, (how glad am I to be in Qld) it is dark here by 7.30. We did dinner, bath, clean teeth, story time, and then bedtime. I would read a bunch of stories, and it was then lights out. If I had to I would keep putting bub to bed over and over, until the game ended, but bed time was final, no negotiations. I never had anyone up past 8, that would have been the very latest. No bottle to sleep with, no extra cuddles, just goodnight kiss and bye. I think it just takes persistance.

[Whispers]

Maybe you could cut out one of her day sleeps? how old is she?

[Guest1234]

Hey
Thanks all for your quick replies.
If it werent a problem, I wouldnt want to change it. But at the moment all I do is look after her, and during her day sleeps I will maybe have a bite to eat, get her bottles and solids ready and if i have time I will sit down and check my emails.
I cant do it while she is awake because she is just so full on and doesnt seem to like me to sit down and eat or have a drink or even go to the loo, she has to be in on everything.
She is 9mths old and has 2 sleeps during the day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. Cutting one out isnt an option at the moment, she has only just dropped her third sleep, which is prob why she is a bit out of all sorts.
We do have blackout curtains, but she just seems to know. Smart kid I have here.
Im hoping that coz she has gone to sleep at 8pm tonight then maybe she will wake earlier herself tomorrow morning, but Im waking her at 6:30am any way. Eventually her body clock will get the message, you would think?
JoshCamGrandma if ur on chat Ill chat on you there, hopefully my internet will let me.

[Cordelia]

I know you feel like you are having a problem with her sleeps - but it sounds like quite often she is getting 12 hours sleep PLUS 2 day sleeps - and that's pretty good.

It can be awful when you spend hours in the evening trying to get your LO to sleep though. I would get very teary and frustrated until we decided to control cry.

we ensured that she had a routine and introduced a "comfort" to her... which was a blanky and a polar bear and I KNOW this is terrible!!! But we gave her a bottle with water in it.

The first night we went and checke don her every 30 minutes. it took her around 2.5 hours to go to sleep. This was significantly shorter than the nights we went in every 5 minutes and settled her.

Night 2 it took her 30 minutes to go to sleep. whehn the 30 minutes came around for us to go in and settle her she was quiet and asleep.

Night 3 she whinged a litle bit but we gave her her comforts and left the room and she didnt cry

Night 4 she was very content to be tucked in, given her comforts and kissed goodnight. Success!!!

some people might think it's cruel but it was the only way (after 10 months) that we could make the transition from her falling asleep in our arms (and taking hours) to her falling asleep in her cot (and taking minutes). She has been an awesome sleeper ever since and loves going to bed. she quite often reminds us!

[Melski]

Don't feel bad! Before I was a mum I was a child and family psychologist, and I planned to never CC, considering it unhelpful for the babies emotional devt.

Now, I am a mum and a psychologist, and I have changed my views somewhat. Many times, as a parent, we are faced with 2 choices we don't necessarily like, and we must weigh everything up and make a decision, preferably WITHOUT feeling guilty (children do NOT benefit from their mother's guilt!)

In your case, it sounds as though you have weighed everything up, and the current situation is not working on a number of levels. If your baby is well-loved and gets plenty of yr loving attention during the day, she or he is NOT going to suffer negative consequences by you taking some action in the sleep department. In fact, it is my belief that well-loved babies benefit more from their parents being happy, healthy and with a stronger relationship than any negative emotional consequences from some crying. Babies and parents also benefit from good sleeping habits. This is an issue I have grappled with personally and professionally and I feel your pain!

Also, I would recommend also persisting with waking her at a more reasonable time (approx 7ish), ensuring her daytime sleeps do not total more than 5 hours, and that her 2nd nap does not finish less than 4 hours before you plan to settle her for the evening ie. if you plan for her to go to bed at 7.30p.m, do not let her sleep past 3.30p.m.

Good luck and try and lose the guilt!

[Moops]

Hi!

I know you said she sleeps well during the day but I think maybe you need to look at the times that she sleeps (That is what we had to do with DS). I would suggest waking her at 7am letting her have an hour in the morning say 9 or 9.30am and another nap at 12.30 for 2 hours. Like another poster said I wouldn't let her sleep past 3pm. If she is going to bed at 9pm sounds like she is having a late afternoon sleep to see her through till that late? Once we started following this, DS was really tired by bedtime and was quite ready to go after his nightime/bath routine.

Let me know how you go

[Nomsie]

I am aware this in the pro controlled crying section, so I will leave my thoughts on CC out of my post

But have you read the book "No cry sleep solutions" by Elizabeth Pantley... it has great suggestions for not only getting babies to sleep, but there is a part in there about putting them to bed earlier. From memory, it suggests you do it gradually over a week or two- moving bedtime forward by 15 minutes each day. (I should be paid to advertise this book, the number of times I have been advocating it on BH! )

Whatever way you choose, I hope it works for you.