Not sure I am cut out for this

[JenL]

Having a baby is all good in theory ... but in reality it's hard work.

I love my boy so much and I would never change anything ... but I am finding being a parent really hard.

I miss having my own time and I am finding it hard to cope now my days are 100% baby with no time for me and no time to do anything else but tend to his needs.

I know it's so selfish of me but I struggling

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Its only early days yet, it takes AGES to get used to having a baby.

It will happen, just don't be so hard on yourself. As he gets older he will be a bit more capable. He will be able to move himself, go after toys himself.. he will be a little less dependant and needy.

While he is still young maybe you can give a go at going out shopping with him or something.. Or sit at the park for a bit.

Anything to lift your spirits a bit.

Its not the end of the world and we all do feel a bit in over our heads occasionally.

[treasurehim]

Dont be afraid to ask friends and family to look after him when you need some alone time!

[AM]

You are not selfish! I felt exactly the same when I had my first, it was a huge shock to me, just the 24/7 around the clock committment.

I love my alone time, so it took me a fair while to adjust.

Just do make sure you don't slip into depression, that's what happened to me. Make sure your partner knows how you feel, and can suppport you through it.

Take care

[KatiesMum]

a perfectly normal feeling.

Everyone (well almost everyone) goes through that stage ... can you get someone to come and help you for a few hrs and either get out and do something for you - or just go and have a nice relaxing bath and sleep.

It doesnt have to be ages ... sometimes just 1/2 an hr is a real treat.

It does get better and easier.

[MothersMilk]

no you are not selfish at all - we all struggle parenthood is certainly not easy.

I find the lack of me-time one the hardest things about being a mother. As someone who loves to be alone having a baby was a big change.

Things that help me are getting someone to look after bub for an hour or so - so i can have time alone. I know this isn't always possible but if there is someone don't be afraid to ask for help!

Going for a walk with the pram or a drive - almost like me-time for me as i don't have to hold baby.

You are cut out for this - just give yourself time

[gi_jo]

Hey Jen, your feelings are totally understandable as you are making a big adjustment to your life.

Is Cooper on a routine? I like to be organised and I found putting by babies on a routine worked for me as I could plan my day around their feeds and organise quick outings to the shops or whatever for a bit of escape if needed. Maybe go out for lunch with your DH, do something normal so you feel more like yourself again.

[xkwzit]

I don't really enjoy the newborn stage of babyhood either. I felt I was always doing stuff TO the baby (feeding, changing, settling, bathing), never WITH the baby. They are just too little to give you much back (though a few hours of proper sleep would be a rare and wondrous gift ). I found it did get better once they can smile at you, I remember fondly DD1 and I laughing ourselves silly at each other when she was about two months old.

The newborn stage does seem unrelenting when you are living it, but so very soon you will be out of it and get nostalgic when you remember how very tiny he once was. It won't seem like long at all in a little while.

In the mean time, can you go out and do a few things, just for you, even if it is getting a coffee.

Cheers

[Teegzie]

It really can seem unending I know, but like anything it just takes a bit of time to learn to adjust. It's a bit of a cliche but sometimes the best idea is to forget about the housework or anything else not baby related and when your bub is napping take that time for yourself.

On new years day we headed over to my in-laws for a swim and when bub had had enough of the water my MIL took her for a bit. I spent the next 3 hrs in the pool and when I finally got out I felt really bad that I had forgotten that I was even a Mum for a bit and was just enjoying time as Me! My MIL was great though and said that was why she took DD, because she knew I wouldn't think to ask anyone for time to myself!

[reAllytee]

Be gentle on yourself hun

Everyone feels this way at one stage or another, mostly in the first few months because it is such a shock to the system.

Parenting isnt easier but you will get into a groove kinda thing & it will settle .... Things will crop up again but you will get through them because you realise you can iykwim.

Is there anyone who can help you out ? Just even by looking after bubs for a few hours in the loungeroom while you go sleep !

Use as much of your support network as you can