Happy with just one? Chat to me!

[Leisa21]

Maybe all that stalking has turned me into you LOL

What your saying makes perfect sense, I know you're not trying to bring me to the dark sideLMAO.

I just hope that we can be happy with our choice, whatever it will be. What I want is to like you be hit by a lightening bolt that makes me realise that this is it. Either that or have that yearning for another like I did with Aidan. Mum was saying the same thing to me about having more. SHe had 3 and wanted a big family but she said its more then acceptable to have just the one. She said where is the fun in having a beautiful story for Aidan and having to either make one up or say that we had you because we wanted a brother or sister for Aidan.

The one thing that gets to me though is when people say oh you're young it doesnt matter. But we both agree with no big gaps. Andrew's little sister is ten years younger and she was always feeling left out and alone. I personally think it would be worse to have a brother or sister ten years older than me then be an only child, thats me though. I just want to tell them to sod off age has nothing to do with it. The MIL said to us that seeing that Aidan was a mistake we should wait a while so that our next child is wanted stupid woman has no idea lol. But thats a whole other thread...

[OneNowOneLater]

I honestly dont want another child. And unfortunately i'm too young and "healthy" to have my tubes tied. Which imo sucks. Granted, if i had private health cover, might be easier getting the procedure done, but even then, no surgeon would even touch me cos i am young and healthy. ARGGH.

I'm trying to talk DF out of wanting a "blood child" of his own with me. I went through hell (emotional - ended up with both pre natal and post natal depression really bad) with my pg and i never ever ever wanna go through that again.

I'm happy with my little girl. I dont need any more.

[naiwen]

Hi Specksmum, I had pre and post natal depression as well and it was truely horrific.
I also get frustrated when people doubt that I only want one, the GP that put my Implanon in last night was very sceptical.

Would your DP be interesting in adopting you DD I have heard of people doing this and it sounds like a lovely idea.

Leisa your MIL sound a bit odd LOL, I hope you get to a point where you feel completely comfortable with whatever you decide, without sounding like a total fruitloop perhaps you could meditate on it?

Not sitting down and saying omm haha but maybe go for a peacefull walk in the country or park and just process your feeling without putting any pressure on yourself to make a decision.

[OneNowOneLater]

He probably would, but we've decided against him adopting J, as it will put extra barriers up when it comes time for her to want to meet her bio father. Even tho he's not on her b/c, he pays CS regularly and wont have that responsibility anymore if D adopts J.

LOL, even tho it could be seen as a spiteful way to look at things, it is HER money and she's entitled to it.

I'm inclined to look into Tubal Ligation, so i dont have to fall pg again. Sure circumstances are all different this time, but imo the risks of both pre and post natal dep are too high for my liking. And of course :eyes: a vasectomy is out of the question atm, because he wants a child of his "own" (even tho he's been around J since the day she came home from hospital - literally - and sees her as his anyway)

I doubt any OB/GYN would allow a TL for me for a couple of reasons.

1. I dont have Private health cover (only have extras)
2. I'm young
3. Only have one child....

Its annoying

[nugglyboysmum]

its great that you have come to a decision to have only one adn feel good about and have shed the guilt of an only.

I too have had the guilt about not giving DS siblings, but like you, DS was desperately wanted, took a long time to conceive and had health problems for 18 months. He is so perfect I can't imagine wanting another child as much as him. I love having so much time to spend just on him.

I went through a phase of wanting another bub a few times, but i think thats cause DH was always adamant he wasn't having any more, so i felt like the choice was totally taken out of my hands. 2 days ago DH announces to me that he has been thinking about another bub for a while now and really wants one more. I was thrilled when he said it. But now having a few days to think on it I really have no desire to have anotehr baby now and I doubt those feelings will change the older DS gets. I too had PND and dont want to go through all that again. Also I canot imagine having to constantly be up all night with a baby, DSD has only just started sleeping through regularly and I am LOVING my sleep!

I no longer feel suilt at DS being an only child, I will work very hard to give him plenty of opportunity to socialise with his peers and plan to have an open house policy where he can have friends over whenever he likes.

I could go on forever, but its late.....

[kristin5]

Like a couple of you, our son had problems with his health early on as well. Well, he still does actually, as he has a lifelong bowel condition, but we just don't know as yet how well he will cope (but we are hopeful that he will function pretty close to 'normal'). As this condition is genetic, my husband is worried about the risks of having another child with this same disease. The odds are about 10-15%.

Plus our ages are against us adding another to our family (in our opinion - this isn't to say others shouldn't have babies at a later age, it just isn't what we want to do).

And we feel that we can give Ryley a lot more if he remains an only child. And we do love spoiling him!

Like the previous poster, we will have an open house policy and also will take one of his friend's with us on family holidays.

We actually tried last year to have another child as I felt we could do it if they were close together. It didn't happen. And now I am out of baby mode (and I confess to not being much of a 'baby person' anyway, so I am not one to get clucky).

Ryley is PERFECT. He is outgoing, gorgeous, cheeky, happy, etc. etc. What more could we want?!

[quaver]

There is nothing wrong with only having one. I think you just know when you are at the perfect number. for some it is 0, 1 or 10! i think it is something inbuilt for a very good reason. For me i do want another but i have many friends that have made the decision to stick to one, especially if there were complications with the first, that have never regretted their decision.
dont let others worry about it Naiwen