loss at 22 weeks, my Lucky

[reflect169]

i went into early labour at 22 weeks.
i had a very healthy, very normal pregnancy. i didnt drink, smoke or take drugs (i dont do these things anyway, other than the occasional drink) i ate healthy, quit jobs. everythiing i could. my partner, myself, and our families were thriled when we found out i was pregnant. and when we found out it was a boy shane (my partner) and i were very happy, as we both had secretly been hoping for a boy. anyhow, on a sunday night, i started getting contractions, which i thought were constipation, until i started thinking they were braxton hicks. my nipples had started leaking a few weeks before.i tried showers, going to the toilet, trying to sleep, but the pain wouldn't go away. at 2.30, (4 hours after the first contraction) a purple thing hung out of my vagine whilst i was on the toilet, i screamed for Shane, and he freaked out when he finaly noticed. he told me to stand up and keep my legs closed, ran to get my dad (who stays with us over the week due to work), and they both tried 000. he then dressed me and we ran down stairs to the ambulance. my dad drove to the hospital behind us. short while after we arrived the staff put us in a double bedded room, and i got shane to fetch my dad. they pumped me with pethadine and gave my gas, just like i had asked.at about 9.08/9.12 i broke my waters, and at 9.18 promptly Monday morning, april 4th, Lucky was born. his heart was beating for 2 hrs 48 minutes. he weighed in at 570gms 100grms heavier than most babies at his gestational age, and heavier than some who have been born at later stages and survived. he was 28 cms long, again longer then most, and longer then some born later. he had big shoulders and chest, and knees like his dad. his skin was a healthy baby colour, not as translutent as u would expect. his body jerked a few times in his first born minutes, as u could see his body trying to breathe although he didnt know how. he couldn't open his eyes, however he gripped the hand of myself, his maternal grandad, his oldest paternal uncle, his father, and maybe his sunty (i cant quite remember anyone else other then his uncle, as i remember telling scott to put his finger underneith his hand) he was held by us all, and his paternal grandmother. and was kissed by us all including his paternal grandfather. at 11.06, his heart siezed to beat, and he died quietly and peacefully in his mothers and fathers arms. I watched the spitting image of my patner die. he was the soul of our love.

his time was not long, but his impact was amazing, our memeries of Lucky are many and none between.

does anyone know about pregnancies after such a thing. the docters found no reason. nothing in the tests.

from the mother of a spirit,
ami xxx

[Rockett]

I am in tears reading your post.I am so,so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.
Hold those precious memories close to your heart.

[mumof2girls]

Dear Ami my heart goes out to you and your partner for your loss, I can't imagine what you are going through but you are in my thoughts and prayers. Try and be strong and as you said his time here wasn't long but what an impression he made on yours and your families lives, keep your precious memories close to your heart.

[madvoice]

That post has me in tears. The photo and story you shared was just so precious. My heart truly goes out to you. It makes me want to go into my 12wko daughter's room and hold her so tight. If you ever need to talk or just want support we're all here for you. You are such a brave person for sharing with all of us.. complete strangers (well most of us).

I just can't stop crying.

[Emily's moocow]

Dear Ami,

Thank you for sharing your story I too am in tears. What a beautiful memory you will have to hold onto. I had to stop writing and go and pick up my sleeping baby, I've had what I thought was a bad day but it all pales in comparison.

I hope that you and your family can treasure the short time that Lucky was here and remember he came to you for a reason.

Please take care and remember we are all thinking of you and your family

Love and Best Wishes
Teresa

[reflect169]

butterfly, mumof2, madvoice, terasa, thank you all so much. i am in tears too reading your replies. and it really does help to have people to talk to. espscialy strangers, amazingly enough.

my partners exgirlfriend, had a little boy, about 18 months now, and shes pregnant with another boy. for some reason this really effects me, i dont want to be so upset, but i am. my old school friend has also just had a aby girl, shes my age. i am so happy for her. but for some reason, i find myself jelous of shane's ex. specialy when she's with us and shane's family. can anyone give me some advice. and i would love to hear some baby stories, if anyone would like to share, they make me happy. i have the most beautiful visions of sleeping babies being held by their mothers now, that makes me very happy, thankyou.

[Ana Gram]

nothing i can say will ever make it better, but i am heartbroken for you. Your son will always be alive in your hearts and memories, cherish those moments, write memories of your pregnancy and your short time with him down so you will always remember.

[reflect169]

i have many poems and songs, that i wrote during the pregnancy. they always take me back.

[jaz]

I just want you to know we are all thinging about you & your famnily, My love & thoughts are with you always......xoxoxoxo

[Briannabear]

Dear Ami,
I just read your post. I'm so incredibly moved that I dont know what to write. I'm in tears. I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious child.
I feel like going into my daughter's room and just watching her sleep... I feel so blessed to have her right now.
My heart goes out to you and all your family. Your little angel must be so special to be able to touch so many peolpes hearts like he has.
I hope you can find some comfort or support from all of us at Bubhub.
You and your family are in my prayers.