Going for 'coffee' to a coffee shop with a very active 1 year old?

**ThisIsLiving** · 19-11-2008 12:59

Hello

MIL is having morning tea at a coffee shop for her birthday with a group of her women friends. She wants me to come along and bring my children.

I have no problem with bringing DD (she is almost 5), so she is very good and usually just sits up and eats, drinks (and talks!), but DS is much younger and is at that extremely active age where he won't sit in his stroller unless I'm pushing him around (and even then he can get frustrated).

If I ever try to have 'coffee' with my friends, we have to make it very QUICK...15 minutes tops before DS starts whining and looking to run around and play.

MIL is putting the pressure on - she really wants us there - and I would like to go too, but I know how DS is and he is going to get very restless very fast, and it will be an hour long event, not just a quick drink eat and go, and I'm concerned that he will disrupt the entire morning (there's no other kids going either).

Anyway, long story short, my question is: what do you do with your one year olds when going to coffee shops? Do you go, do your children happily sit for longer than mine, or do you avoid 'going for coffee' knowing that it's just too hard?

**Myztik** · 19-11-2008 13:04

Does the coffee shop have highchairs? He might be happier sitting up at the table with everyone rather than in his stroller. Also take some small toys, books, colouring stuff etc that he can use on the highchair tray.

oh and my 2.5yr old is not one for sitting still for long either.

**NibbleCurlynBub** · 19-11-2008 13:04

I don't drink coffee... But I did recently have a cup of tea after toddler gym while the kids played.

I'd rather do it that way, in a place where the kids have something else to do.

**chicken** · 19-11-2008 13:06

I know just what you're talking about. My strategy is to distract DS with food - something like sultanas, which take a while to eat. I realise that will only take up another 15 mins or so, but if there are lots of women going, I bet you won't have any trouble finding someone willing to entertain your DS? He could just get passed around?

**Lissa7** · 19-11-2008 13:08

When my girls were little I would go when they are hungry and feed them when I was there so that would keep them content for a while anyway fave food or a special treat is a good bribe

!!!! Is he able to hold a crayon and draw yet ??? I take pencils and colouring books too they help too.

**Seacretsquirrel** · 19-11-2008 13:15

My dd is almost 2 but she has loved to have "coffee" since my mum first introduced the "babycino" about 12 months ago it makes her feel part of it. I agree with PP you will have a few extra hands to help keep him entertained and the "special" food helps too.
I got DD a cheap version of the FP doodle pro from toys R us too it is little and perfect for little hands and non messy she loves it so much I have bought her a big one for her birthday but she gets me to draw stuff and then she draws too it was on $5 too

I'd go but explain to you MIL that you may have to leave if DS gets to restless - she is his grandmother she will understand and at least that way you've made the effort to go but prepared her for the eventuallity that you may have to go early.

**~mia&ryan~** · 19-11-2008 13:32

DD was always happy as long as she got a babycino.

I would still go in your case. Still make the effort and if your DS does play up and you have to leave early at least you tried. I am sure your MIL will appreciate it.

ETA missed your post Catriona. Completely agree.

**alanasmum** · 19-11-2008 17:08

Originally Posted by ThisIsLiving

If I ever try to have 'coffee' with my friends, we have to make it very QUICK...15 minutes tops before DS starts whining and looking to run around and play.

I would tell her exactly what you wrote above.

We have received a few invitations recently from friends (who are not yet parents) which have said "kids invited" but have been at completely inappropriate venues. I think it's unfair of someone who is out of touch with how hard it is to contain an active toddler to put pressure on you to attend an event. I always decline these invitations. If DD is not happy then I'm not happy. And what's the point if you have to spend the whole time entertaining them and don't get to socialise.

Any chance your MIL wants to "show off" her grandchildren and isn't really considering what's best for them?

Perhaps you could leave your DS for an hour with a friend (if you feel comfortable doing that) and just take DD. That way you might actually get a bit of time out to enjoy some adult company.

**MrsMiggins** · 19-11-2008 17:26

Yeahhhhhh....................

I gave up going for coffee with my DS about a year ago!! Still couldn't do it now!!

I personally would just tell her that it's very stressful for you trying to contain an energetic 1-year old and that you wouldn't just be able to sit, drink coffee & participate in the conversation. Although if you've got anyone who could watch him for a while, that would be fantastic!

**CaitlinArai22** · 19-11-2008 17:33

no kids yet, but some advice from working in the hospitality industry.

Cafes and smaller restauraunts love regulars. they will make an effort to make you comfy, cause they know you'll come back.
Try calling a few places in your area to see if there are corner tables, where you could have some space on the floor for the tiny one and be out of te way. then you could bring a bouncer or mini play center or a cushion and a toy, had a few women who used to do this at varying places i've worked. they'd just call the day before and we'd make sure there was the table reserved for them!
You might not be able to go this time,but its a thought for the future!