hi i am new to this site but i just wanted to share it is a huge problem to me but seems quite small in the frame of the world.
long story short i moved to ballarat over 10 years ago to be with my husband and now i have 3 beautiful sons 9,6 and 3 and they are growing up with just me and my DH and no grandparents to love and care for them.
my mother in law and i have never really had much time for each other and now they boys are being punished in my opinion by her. i always be nice to keep the peace but in 9 years it has always seemed a hassle for her to spend anytime with them, she lives 2 houses down from us and not once in 9 years has she even asked to take the boys to the park. she doesnt make an effort on the birthdays, christmas and has never even brought them a pair of socks. why doesnt she want to spend time with them why does she not seem to care? i feel sad for my boys as they are now starting to ask why she doesnt do anything with them and i mean nothing we very occassionly ask her to have them for the night and we have to take food, drinks,bedding and give her money just to watch them, we also have to take them up at bedtime put them to bed and they are sent home at 7 in the morning. she plays the proud grand parent to other people and tells everyone how much she adores them but i would like to see some of the lies sent the boys way! she always claims to be very close to them but they cry when we send them there cause they dont want to go.
my parents live interstate, my mum and dad are great with the boys and my mum is always ringing to see how they are and only a few weeks ago (my parents dont have a lot of money) they drove to ballarat just to see the boy cause they hadnt seen them in a few months. my boys can do no wrong in my mother eyes and it can be a little annoying sometimes when i just need to vent to her cause she wont have it, my mother also adores my DH and they get along great. my mum always is buying for the boys anything she thinks they will like or neesd i dont think she is trying to buy there love but i think she feels a little guilty she only sees them a few times a year. how come she can care so much and my MIL care so little. i know that at christmas i miss my family all the more but it just gets me down and i cant seem to drag myself back up.
how do i do better by my kids and how do i get them outside support other than us. i have tried talking to MIL and she just gets defencive and tells me i cant run her life or make her spend time with the boys she was to young to be a grandmother and she wont be taking responsibility for my mistakes. my children were all planned and very wanted just not by her she never liked me and was very vocal and abusive but i have tried to ignore it for the boys they dont need to know and i honestly thought she would want to know them.
thanks for listening