who is being unreasonable??

**cecandchels** · 29-10-2008 21:47

my partner and i are discussing the possibility of going to sth africa in 2010. our daughter will be nearly 3 and he thinks that leaving her home for 3 weeks isnt that bad, but i think it is too long for her and want her to come or to shorten the holiday but then would it be worth going all that way for a short time.
am i being unreasonable or is he? help please!

**babygizaiah** · 29-10-2008 21:58

no way could I do that. I definately thing that he is being unreasonable to expect you to leave your daughter for 3wks. that is a really long time. Why doesnt he want to take her to south africa with you's?

**cecandchels** · 29-10-2008 22:04

i know, way to hard for me and i dont think she would understand properly where we have gone and that would make me sad. he really wanted it to be us alone cause we have never really had that and i think it can be dangerous over there for tourist so not the ideal place for a bub. but thanks for replying i have informed him that i am 1-0 in favour of not leaving her. ha ha!

**MissSookyLaLa** · 29-10-2008 22:04

personally I wouldnt take my child to south africa, or anywhere in africa if i could avoid it...

too much chance of picking up something nasty...and south africa is not a safe place in the world...

I would either leave bubs at home, or go somewhere more child friendly...

**cecandchels** · 29-10-2008 22:12

yeah, thats what i thought too about diseases and danger.
on the other hand, its a dream of my partners to go there for the world cup - again not a suitable place for a baby. i know its far away but if we where to go we would have to start organising soon. im really not sure i could leave her.

**MissSookyLaLa** · 29-10-2008 22:14

so are you going there for the world cup? cause if so, who will look after bubs while you are at the games? or will she come with you??

hmm, its a tough one!

its also a looooooooong time to leave her...

maybe your partner could go with some mates and then you could go on a family holuday somewhere else?

**cecandchels** · 29-10-2008 22:17

yes for the world cup, then maybe safari or something. well, i hadnt really thought about it. i assumed she could come with us but have now realised that would just not work cause its an extra ticket and it would be to crazy for her i think.
it is a possibility that he will go with friends.

**Lastcenturymum** · 30-10-2008 00:16

I don't think 3 years old is too young to be left BUT, there would be a lot of things to consider:

Who would you leave her with?

Has she spent a lot of time with them? Is she comfortable with them?

Has she spent much time away from you with others already?

I think situations like this need to be on a case by case basis depending on so many factors.

Friends got a trip to India years back and left their two girls, one with a friend and the other who was about 20 months with her mum. I don't think it was a good idea in that case as it was hard on the grandma minding the little girl, it was a bit too long in that case - the girl was fretting by the end of it.

Recently a friend was planning on leaving her 5 and 2 year old with a Nanny they had for only 3 weeks to fly to the other side of the world for a 2 week holiday - now that is wrong IMO.

Also South Africa is not a third world country to those mentioning diseases etc!! I would be more concerned about the safety issues there as it's a rather unstable climate politically.

It's a big ask (and while a great opportunity) I think maybe a week away together closer first would be a good trial

**danik** · 30-10-2008 00:40

Hmm...I think 3 weeks away from our DD would be too much for us. One week maybe but I think we would spend the whole time missing her and talking about her.

I would rather have her come with us and share the experience even if that meant having to modify some of your plans.

**kotakai** · 30-10-2008 06:42

I went America a couple of years ago for a work conference. My XDH (DH at the time) also came. We left our then 3 & 4 year old with my mum & they were fine. We were gone for about 2 weeks & they were very excited about the goodies we were bringing home! My parents travelled extensively when I was younger for work conferences & my sister & I were also fine. We also loved wondering what we'd get when they got back.

I'm guessing your DD must only be 1 if she'll be 3 then. 2 years is a long time & as long as you have trusted family you could leave her with, there's lots of chances for her to have sleep overs & get used to the idea.

As much as 1 day I'd love to take my kids to America, it just wasn't possible on that trip. I rang & spoke to them each night so that was good.

I don't think the world cup is a suitable place for a 3 year old (IMO) & you might want to check if they have rules about taking kids on safari's.