In a rut - help!

**Bee99** · 28-10-2008 13:32

My baby is 10 months old now and I'm getting SO BORED with being a stay at home mum. I thought I'd never get sick of it, but I am. I need some other purpose to my days.

I can't go back to work as it's impossible to work in the industry part time. The only type of job I could hope to get part time would be some crappy admin work which would barely cover the cost of childcare. And I'd feel so guilty about putting my little angel in childcare just so I could answer phones and make someone cups of tea for $20 an hour. I am new to Sydney and don't have any family here who can help or any friends I've known for long enough to ask them to babysit.

He is a very high maintenance baby. He demands constant attention, won't sleep and won't ever sit still, even for a minute. There is no way I could work from home.

Most of all I'm sick of feeling guilty about EVERYTHING.

Anyone have any ideas? Or anyone feel the same way?

**cassvanm** · 28-10-2008 13:40

don't feel guilty! I am a mum who needs more than just her kids. I love my girls, they make my world light up, but I need intellectual stimulation that a 5yo, a 3 yo and a newborn can't provide!
I am lucky that I can work part-time, I have great benefits (paid maternity leave etc), and have a good wage to warrant child care.
You will find a way to cope, I wish you luck! Sorry I don't have any ideas for you, but just wanted you to know you have nothign to feel guilty for!

**lochiebearsmum** · 28-10-2008 13:54

I know where you are coming from as much as you love your baby you need some time out as well. Plus i think we all know it can get very lonely.... have you thought about playgroups/mothersgroup etc.
We do something every morning including playgroup, baby gym which is for 4 months plus, swimming etc.
sometimes just getting out of the house helps and your bub may also enjoy this!!
cant help with the high maintenance part my DS is the same!!

**Aquillah** · 28-10-2008 14:24

**RedPanda** · 28-10-2008 14:26

I went through this after finishing work while pregnant with number two. I woke up in the morning and thought "What's the point?". My days seemed boring and there was no real routine because it's hard to do with a toddler!

I find I feel better when I am organised. I was a very organised person at work, so now I treat my homelife the same as I would a job. I plan meals in advance, and I do my best to keep the house tidy, and the washing up-to-date. I also try to spend some quality time with my kids (rather than just allowing them to amuse themselves).

It helps keep me sane!

**cja** · 28-10-2008 14:33

Don't feel guilty. I love my kids but I love my part time job too! Although I found doing stuff to get out of the house with a toddler helped out, I was happy to go back to work when my maternity leave was over for my second bub. Have you thought about studying? I have almost complete my masters degree during afternoon nap times!

**Jax Tellers Old Lady** · 28-10-2008 14:41

Hi there, firstly heres some

secondly you are only human. My Ds is three and I have been a stay at home mum since he was born. I have my bad days even weeks where I wish I could work but then I have weeks where I wouldnt trade it for anything. I have found that I need to keep busy or else I go nuts. We have a outing a day at least even if its just a trip to the park. I find getting out of the house helps alot. Your little one is alot younger so you have a few more restrictions.

Are there any mummy/baby classes in your area like yoga, swimming etc

I did playgroup when Ds was younger and now we also do kindergym. Its tough when you cant get a break some days I feel boxed in.

Pm me anytime you need to chat. Hang in there and try to do something nice just for you when you can.

**~Temet Nosce~** · 28-10-2008 14:48

I have been having one of these days today aswell.. but I remind myself that any job I was in I would probably end up sick of too eventually. I just like things to be moving all the time.
I have started going to a Tiny tots story time session at the library on wednesday mornings, they are free. I have also just organised to join a playgroup, and once the weather is warmer, I will be taking dd swimming as much as possible. Just things like that to get you out of the house and keeping busy will help.

**Prudie** · 28-10-2008 20:51

Being a SAHM is a lot harder than people think!! Especially to those friends who haven't yet had kiddies - and trying to explain to them the ins and outs of it seems useless (I figure they'll see what I mean when they do get around to having kids).

I love being a SAHM but definitely have my days when I wish I could just go to my office job!

My 10 mth old DS is also an active little monkey - doesn't sit still ever...unless he's sleeping which is a blessing. I generally have an outing each day, even if it's just to the local play ground for a play (and a coffee for mum!!).

Maybe look at doing something you've always wanted to do - like do some writing, or some voluntary work etc.

PS where do you live in Sydney, if you live down south I'd be happy to catch up for a coffee. PM me if you like.

**chickaboo** · 29-10-2008 06:41

I also try and get out once a day even if it is just for a walk in the pram (she generally falls asleep in it). In fact, If I don't get out, I feel like I am going crazy. My DD is 11 months. We have swimming, Playgroup, Mothers group and now that she is crawling, I have DD booked into creche for 3 hours in the morning, once a week. What a sanity saver that is!
We don't have any family around, so it really can be hard work. Since having DD my tolerance level of cleanliness and tidy house has Decreased, so I hate looking around and seeing mess everywhere. ..
I'm thinking about organising a roster with DP to help with her bathing at night, just to give me 10-15 minutes to do some tidying up around the house or whatever needs doing, that I just don't seem to get done when she is at home demanding my attention all the time.
Good luck.