No no no. MINE!

[Bron]

It's started. DS is 18 months and has recently said the word "mine" a few times when referring to toys or books, but never in a cranky way. Until today. We had been swimming and were leaving the pool, I asked him if he could give me his cup so I could pack it in the bag before we walked to the car. His response - "no no no. Cup MINE!" and clutched it to his chest.

So, how long do they do this for? When do they get over it? Any handy hints for explaining sharing and taking turns to an 18 month old?

[misskittyfantastico]

The "mine" thing can be a tricky one - because the cup IS his and it's good that he knows it belongs to him....it's more the crankiness that comes with it. I found that with Millie, I was better saying "Yes darling it IS yours - mummy just wanted to put it in your bag, but if you want to carry it, that's fine"

With sharing J and I used to basically make everything about taking turns - silly things like mummy's having a turn with the towel, now daddy's having a turn....usually with some singing Sharing was just too hard for Millie to grasp at 18 months, but "turns" helped her to understand that she WOULD get the toy/book back...she didn't ever really ENJOY giving the other person their turn, but she generally accepted it.

At three, she understands sharing but still many things are HERS, so the rule is, if we can't share it, we put it away.

I don't know if any of that waffle was helpful.

[jaq]

Must be a bell they ring at 18 months ... Sofia was 18 months on 29 September, and "mine!" (and the associated battles) started within the week!

She used to just smile serenely and relinquish things to her sister until recently. Now there are major tug of wars and screaming matches - the joys of a 20 month age gap!

Have taken your "taking turns" advice on board Miss Kitty. Annika knows she SHOULD share, but still isn't big on it in practice. Her version of sharing means that she can take anything she wants off Sofia (or anyone else!) but doesn't have to give up anything SHE is playing with.

[misskittyfantastico]

Have taken your "taking turns" advice on board Miss Kitty. Annika knows she SHOULD share, but still isn't big on it in practice. Her version of sharing means that she can take anything she wants off Sofia (or anyone else!) but doesn't have to give up anything SHE is playing with.

I think that is part of the toddler code of ethics! Poor Hamish (my Hamish) barely gets a look in with all of "Millie's" toys - If I always ask her to go and find a toy Hamish CAN play with, she'll generally come back with an old half gnawed block

[westerner]

I think that is part of the toddler code of ethics! Poor Hamish (my Hamish) barely gets a look in with all of "Millie's" toys - If I always ask her to go and find a toy Hamish CAN play with, she'll generally come back with an old half gnawed block

Its nice to know my son is as generous as your daughter.. Gives up the stingiest toy ever..

Oh and i agree with what misskitty said in her first post..
I try to reassure him that it is his but i need to carry it or remind him he will get it back after someone else gets a turn.

All the best, such a fun age coming up, at least he can talk to you AND whinge about it not just whinge.. figuring out what the issue is in the first place is quite the task at times..

[TwoBlue]

I think MissK's first post gives some really good and practical ideas..


The cup IS his, its great that he knows that and important that he has some ownership.. choose your battles well, if he wants to hold the cup so be it...
If he wont share a toy with another then perhaps its a good time to step in with some teaching..kwim?

[Bron]

Good ideas Misskitty. I'll make sure we get lots of taking turn messages happening.

I didn't argue with him, I let him carry his cup from the pool (until he put it on the ground so he could go and pick some flowers ), I was just quite startled by this sudden crankiness after a lovely fun swimming class.

[Nowhere]

lol miki is going though that also, its quite funny we get Mine, or that MY book lol or MY toy of its all mine