Timeout - How young is too young?

**UmmInayah** · 13-08-2008 11:37

Hi,

A friend of mine just told me that they use timeout for under 15 month olds in the daycare centre her daughter is in. I was completely shocked!

She has used timeout on her 14 month old! My DD is 14.5 months old and I couldn't imagine doing that to her. I would feel so awful.

So, how young do you believe is too young? I know all children are different, but surely at 15 months they wouldn't understand the concept of time out!!

**WorkingClassMum** · 13-08-2008 11:40

Depending on the child, time out at that age really would be just removing them from the situation/room, not really a prolonged stay in the hallway/naughty corner.

Technically, as I would remove DD from annoying DS etc and giving her something else to distract her - I was using "time out"

So no I don't thinkit's wrong if done like this.

Asking a 15mo to stay in a corner for any length of time though would be too harsh IMO

**UmmInayah** · 13-08-2008 11:42

Originally Posted by KayteO

Depending on the child, time out at that age really would be just removing them from the situation/room, not really a prolonged stay in the hallway/naughty corner.

Technically, as I would remove DD from annoying DS etc and giving her something else to distract her - I was using "time out"

So no I don't thinkit's wrong if done like this.

Asking a 15mo to stay in a corner for any length of time though would be too harsh IMO

Well both my friend and my ideas of timeout are putting them in a corner for any length of time. Or as my friend does, makes them stand in a corner, facing the wall with their hands on it!

What you have described as time out, I would just call distraction.

**punkbaby** · 13-08-2008 11:42

Removing them as kayteO said is fine, distraction is fine, time out no way! not at that age

**monkeytoes** · 13-08-2008 11:43

I tried it on DD1 at 18months and she didn't really get it. Tried again around 21months and she understood it then. I only do it as a last resort. I find that distraction is still a better option.

14 or 15 months is definately too young. They are babies!

**UmmInayah** · 13-08-2008 11:45

Originally Posted by punkbaby

Removing them as kayteO said is fine, distraction is fine, time out no way! not at that age

I know, it broke my heart. I happened to mention to her how difficult it was to get Inayah to sleep now and that my DH was trying by patting, rocking, shhing whatever, but she wouldn't sleep. (She was possibly overtired

), anyway, she told me "I think it's time you used time out" I said no way she is too young and she goes "NO WAY - we used it on c** when she was 14 months old"

I told her that was sad. Probably shouldn't comment on other parent's parenting ways, but really made me sad to think that poor child..

**CrystalMumOfTwo** · 13-08-2008 11:46

Originally Posted by punkbaby

Removing them as kayteO said is fine, distraction is fine, time out no way! not at that age

**mim1** · 13-08-2008 12:05

I have to disagree.

At 14 months my ds was biting us and our paediatrician recommended time out (in his cot). So, when he bit us we had to firmly say no and put him in the cot for 30 - 60 seconds (we had to leave the room) and then we went back in and said that biting was not acceptable. He went from biting nearly every day to only biting us 3 times before he understood. So it worked really well. The thing is though that it needs to be for a MAJOR offense only and only for a very short time. We rarely need to use time out for anything, but it's amazing how much 'babies' can understand even at 14 months.

As for going to sleep at the same appointment with the paediatrician he recommended controlled crying. We were exhausted and spending up to 2 hours a day rocking, patting, singing our ds to sleep. He was also waking up overnight including a few nights of waking up and playing for hours on end! We didn't even fess up all of that to our paed, but he said it give it a go. Although our ds was only 14 months he said that he should understand the concept of 'its time for sleep'. I must say I was skeptical. But, he was right and we were thrilled. Yes, that night we endured an hour of screaming, but the next night it was 40 minutes and the next night 20 minutes and within a few days he would go to sleep at night without a peep. Now, 4 months later he's still a dream to get to sleep and he's only woken up overnight a handful of times in the past 4 months. I'm so glad we did it.

PM me if you want more info on the specifics.

**NibbleCurlynBub** · 13-08-2008 12:11

My DD is 15mths.. I don't think its appropriate for her either.
OR my DS who is 2 1/2.

I just don't think that accomplishes the goal to teach something by learning from their mistake.

I HAVE sometimes picked her up and faced her away from the issue and that has solved the problem but I would never time-out her.

Like I said.. I don't think it teaches them anything.
Not this young I mean.

**missie_mack** · 13-08-2008 12:14

We use the naughty spot with DS I would saythat by 14 months he had some understanding of it but definately by 18 months. However it is just a foot stool thing we bought cheap that iskept away from toys and seeing the TV.... at 14 months he was only put there long enough to say
'I dont like it when you .......' and to remind him its not nice. From about 18 months he had to actually sit there for a bit maybe 30 sec to a minute....
It may not be nice but its probably nicer than some of the alternative methods to discipline