cc how long for?

**Robyn00** · 09-07-2008 14:19

I have a12 month old who recently has been really horrible to put to bed mainly at night. She used to be really good and just roll straight over and go to sleep and still occassionly will if she is really tired. Just recently when i put her to bed ( as she is ready displaying signs of being tired) she immediatley starts crying then ends up screaming this will last for a min or two then shell go quiet for another min or two then start again and this will go on for about 20 mins untill she crys herself to sleep. We have tryed going into her after a few minutes but this just makes her worse and she thinks we will get her up but then we walk away and bingo we are back at square one. Is this ok to allow her to do this for that long? its the only thing that works. If not please tell me what i can do pulling my hair out over this at the moment. Just want her to go to sleep without crying like she use to.

**Lipsmacker01** · 09-07-2008 15:27

We did the sleep school thing when my 14 month old girl was 11 months and they offered us heaps of advice. The only problem was that she slept well for two weeks then our problems started all over again. We blame a lot of it on teething!

They put Sarah on a feed play sleep routine so that shes not booby fed to sleep and also introduced a grobag. They said that the longest we should let my girl cry for is 1 hour tops.

You wouldnt do it by just leaving them in their room for that long though you'd be reassuring them and checking up on them using patting or ssshing methods, what ever you felt would help your baby feel more at ease.

We started doing it on Monday all over again and we go in after 5 min intervals (do this 3 times) and staying in there 2 mins tops. I then extend it to 10 mins and at the same time listening to her different levels of cries.

Monday was so hard for us, very heartbreaking. Even DH felt the pain.

Last night my girl settled in 23 mins so I think we are starting to see progress!

I think if you go in too frequently to settle her shell probably think you want to go pick her up so maybe see if you can space the time out just a little bit. I also try to avoid eye contact and dont pick my girl up any more as that can make her even worse!

The longest weve let my girl cry for in the past was an hour and 10 mins. I dont think I would ever do it for that long again but the first couple of times are usually long because its a whole new thing to them and they do like to protest! sometimes I wonder how on earth my girl can manage to cry so much.

You would think that they would get a sore throat or something from all the crying! I offer some water sometimes too as it must make them very thirsty. My girl has had a recent ear ache so maybe get your girl checked out too. Heaps of my friends have toddlers with inflammed ears. Sometimes a Drs check up is good just to make sure that sleeping problems arent medically related.

Good luck and let us know how you go tonight

**guerin** · 09-07-2008 15:36

I have a funny feeling your 12 month old is just testing the boundaries. I know people are not going to agree but she isn't a new born and she does have a personality and a brain.,

You even said it if you go in it gets worse because she thinks your going to pick her up.

Do you tell her that you will not be getting her up and it is bedtime. I know some people will think that is harsh but at a years age I think she already knows that and is just testing you.

From what you have written I don't think you should worry at all. The girls just getting an attitude next minute she will be flicking her hair back, pushing her hand in your face and telling you what evaaaaaaar.

**Lipsmacker01** · 10-07-2008 14:40

Do you think she could be teething? Sarahs teething and last night she slept through for the first time in ages! I put bonjela on her and gave her only a small dose of panadol and I didnt hear from her till 7am! I bet it could be that, otherwise an ear check wouldnt hurt at the Drs. Our Dr said today that thats been the most common ailment in children that hes been seing in our area.
I personally think you should stick with the CC but only if you've taken your child to the Dr first to rule out that its nothing medical. Mum CC all of us and what harm did it do to us? NIL!

Its worked wonders for us this week. Ive had the best sleep in about a year and a half this week.

Good luck

**Robyn00** · 10-07-2008 17:30

Hi lipsmacker thank you fr all your advice you have been so wonderful and i agree with everything you have said. I think dd is teething as she has a really red sore bottom her checks are a little red and so are her gums. She does also have a terrible cold to which could also be the problem but i will get her checked to to make sure there is nothing to serious going on. Last night she went down perfectly without a wimper but then around 10pm she woke up screaming i did do cc for about 10 mins but she got to distraught so i had to give her cuddles and lots of reasurance and i just sat with her for a bit then she went back down with no problms if only it was that easy all the time it surprised me. I really beleve in cc and it doesnt hurt a child to cry for a bit and i beleive it does work for my daughter even if it does take a while im with you lipsmaker. anyway see how we go tonight will keep you up to date lipsmaker and once again thank you so much for all of your help and kind words of advice!

**Mrs Potts** · 10-07-2008 18:21

Lipsmacker has given some good advice, Robyn. The only thing I would say though, is that if you think there is a good chance that she is teething you might want to relax the CC'ing a bit. You need to be prepared to "give in" a little where there might be reason for her to be upset. A bit of extra reassurance won't go astray.

I'm a strong advocate of CC, but I do feel there are times when we need to relax the CC rules a little. Hopefully her teeth will settle down and the CC will kick in for both of you!

**Seacretsquirrel** · 11-07-2008 19:57

Originally Posted by guerin

I have a funny feeling your 12 month old is just testing the boundaries. I know people are not going to agree but she isn't a new born and she does have a personality and a brain.,

You even said it if you go in it gets worse because she thinks your going to pick her up.

Do you tell her that you will not be getting her up and it is bedtime. I know some people will think that is harsh but at a years age I think she already knows that and is just testing you.

From what you have written I don't think you should worry at all. The girls just getting an attitude next minute she will be flicking her hair back, pushing her hand in your face and telling you what evaaaaaaar.

My DD was exactly the same I tried the going in regularly and she would just get hysterical when I left I found (and still do) that leaving her to CIO worked much faster (20mins all at once rather than a couple of hours of tooing and froing (sp)
good luck I am sure that she will cave eventually My DD usually took a few days of CIO before she realized that I was not going to cave and is back in her normal routine.

**MandaMommy** · 12-07-2008 06:25

I'm using CC with my 9 mth old, simply because I tried it and it worked first go

so this gave me alot of confidence to continue. I have been using it for 2 months now and mostly he settles himself. Last week for two nights he was shocking, screaming and up all night. He was teething and no matter what I gave him or what I did he just screamed half the night until he was too tired and then he slept with me and woke every 10 minutes with a cry and went back to sleep by himself. There really wasn't anything I could do but I definitely gave in and he slept with me (totally no CC that night). It really didn't seem to make any difference on his progress.

So I would agree with Mrs Potts - CC is good but there are times when the best thing for your bub is a cuddle

As for the amount of time to CC for - personally I have no consistently. But if I know there is nothing wrong I usually check on bub every 2-3 minutes and I will only go in to check on him 3 times before going back and just putting him to sleep with patting so my little man is not crying for more the 15 minutes. I have only done this about 5-6 time in the last two months and yes he wants a cuddle or attention. However if I put him to bed and he is wringing not crying I don't go check on him and just let him wringe to sleep - usually takes 10 minutes but if he cries I go straight it and check on him.

**aje001** · 12-07-2008 07:44

Originally Posted by guerin

I have a funny feeling your 12 month old is just testing the boundaries.

I agree, this is probably the case. When we first started to put DS into a routine, it would get to the point where pretty early in he would work out what was going on and then try to fight it. So everytime we took him into his room and started singing to him, he knew it was bed time and started crying before we even put him down. Sneaky little bugger. For us it was a matter of persevering, and things eventually got easier.

Originally Posted by Lipsmacker01

Do you think she could be teething?

This is also quite possible - we all know how hard they are to comfort when they're teething.

Just remember that every baby is different, and what works for us may not work for you. Do what you feel comfortable with, and what you think is right.

Good luck.

**kat13** · 12-07-2008 17:17

I just wanted to share what we did that helped us.

I read it in a book (can't remember what it's called). But basically said to lay them on their side facing wall and pat their bottom until settled (up to 10 minutes).

Then walk out, and when they start crying walk in again and use same technique until settled.

Then walk out, and when they start to cry, wait 2 minutes then go in and settle again.

And again if they start to cry increase by 2 minutes and then settle again.

Each time you increase by 2 minutes....of course if the settling takes longer than 10 minutes then you probably need to do something else or seek advice.

It worked for us, but yes we get periods of non sleep and screaming with teething and sicky babies. But it eventually settles down again

Good luck and I hope it does get better for you.