Worried about my Mum

[rainbow road]

So a bit of background:

Mum had me when she was 17, then met my stepdad and had my 3 brothers who are now 8, 6 and 3y.o. She's a pretty busy woman and I admire her so much but I'm really worried about her atm.

Firstly, she does so much and as much as my stepdad adores her (completely and utterly) he is a total child. (For the record, I get on really well with him, call him Dad e.t.c, so this really isn't my angst speaking!) Whenever mum gets sick, he also has some ailment which he exaggerates (a paper cut to him is life threatening wound, a cold is a brush with death e.t.c.). Even last year when she got diagnosed with M.S. he got a cold and was 'bedridden' for 3 days.

At the moment, she has tonsilitis, which is really bad for her because she had some bronchiolitisis as a kid really badly and so everything in that area flares up REALLY badly when she's sick. Anyway, so dad trips over today and breaks his toe.

(If you knew my dad you'd be rolling your eyes - he's such a klutz). Mum had to take him to the hospital, they were there for 3 hrs and she just drove home but now has to wait til he's had scans e.t.c. to pick him up. (I offered to but she doesn't want me driving somewhere I don't know late on a Friday night since I just got my Ps...).

It's just like, he won't cut her a break. Even today, why didn't he go to the Dr during the day instead of waiting to come home then leave me to organise the kids and make mum go with him when shes really sick...

I know it's stressing her out, she just said, 'why can't I be sick without having to look after him, too?' and honestly, it's been so frequent lately - it's winter and he's a total hypochondriac - and I'm just so worried! I don't know what to do apart from helping out with the kids and keeping the house in some kind of order.

I want to tell him to be reasonable because it's taking a toll on mum, his childishness, but whenever I bring up problems in their marriage (always jokingly) he gets insanely defensive and so I try not too these days...

Unfortunately for mum, it seems she has 5 kids, not 4, and dad is the worst of all.

Any ideas/advice/help would be appreciated, because I hate seeing mum like this - she's my best friend! and it makes me so angry toward dad because of it.

[WorkingClassMum]

Lots of for you and your mum - you sound like a wonderful loving daughter.

Maybe Mum could go away for a w/e and you could look after your bro's (oh and the big kid too)

Maybe you can just be there - it counts for far more than what you realise.

It's not actually up to you to interfer b/w your mum and dad though - it's hard not to - but it's not really your place iykwim. Your heart is in the right place though

Mostly though - just be there

[rainbow road]

I know it's not my place - makes it so hard though when you want to say it as a concerned daughter and it is interpreted as criticism because that's never what i'd intend it to be iykwim. I just wish he'd THINK about things like this and take initiative! If you're sick - go to the Dr yourself, don't wait for someone to tell you to go!!!

I feel bad for him though, when I was 8 I'm sure he didn't realise he'd unwittingly signed himself on for 2 nagging women 11 years later.

I wonder if him being much older than mum (9 yrs) has anything to do with it? Generational differences perhaps?

Thanks for the hugs