What if bub can't/won't do it?

[Mrs Potts]

Bear with me here as I'm sort of thinking out loud.

I'm currently pg with #3, and with my other 2 kids I've had a grand total of 8 days "breast feeding". I use that term very loosely. Anyway, neither of my others were feeders.

With DS we spent 5 days struggling and trying everything that every different midwife could throw at us to get things to work. He just wouldn't have a bar of it, I was rapidly spiralling into PND, he got formula and the world was a wonderful place.

With DD we got off to a great start. (With DS I'd had 5 days of intensive training so knew what to do ) She fed like a trooper for 3 days then just stopped opening her mouth enough to do anything useful. We stuck at it for 24 hours with no success at all, so it was formula for her. I refused to persevere only to end up with PND again, so I'm not interested in anyone saying I didn't stick with it for long enough. Even when she was having a bottle she would often barely take more than the end of the teat in her mouth, which makes me think that it really wasn't going to work anyway.

So that's the background. I will give it a go again this time, but after having 2 bubs who wouldn't feed properly I'm not going in with high hopes. Has anyone else had a bub who just didn't "get it"? Did you stick with it? Were you successful?

I'd be interested to hear other's thoughts.

[Benji]

Yes, my bub was unfortunately born via forceps, which required an epidural so he was born with absolutely no sucking reflex, I mean none at all. He also had jaundice, I think this also added to the problem.

He would just sit there. Not even open his mouth whatsoever. It was so frustrating

I fed him EBM through a syringe and cups for the first few days after we failed at bf-ing. I always offered breast first though. When he eventually did get the hint that he was supposed to open his mouth (took quite a few days, maybe over a week) we always attached incorrectly, but I persisted through the cracked nipples and engorgement.

When he finally got it, sort of, he wanted to feed all the time and I just went with it.

ETA: Best of luck with your next bub

After a few months, it was perfect.

[sam's mum]

DD2 was a shocker. she was lazy after being on the ng tube. she bf a little bit, so I knew that she could do it, but she found it easier to take ebm from a bottle than to bf. so for the first 6 or so weeks I expressed her feeds and bottle fed them and kept trying to get her to latch on. eventually she would latch on the right and I was only expressing from the left for top up feeds. by 10 weeks she was fully bf and I didn't need to express anymore. I had to start her on the left side in a football hold, but she eventually got the hang of it.

If I hadn't successfully bf the other two, I probably would have switched to formula. (in retrospect that would have been a huge mistake - she turns into a total spew fountain on formula).

Because I knew how much easier bf was, I perservered and perservered and perservered and got there in the end.

I was so glad to be done with the sterilising and washing and heating.... I am too lazy for all that extra work, and it took up so much time that I could have spent with DS. DD and I were awake so much longer at night time too. She had to wait for the milk to heat before she could feed, I had to wake up and heat it . Hated it. I missed being able to throw her on the boob before she totally woke up.

anyway - good luck this time around

[~Emmylou~]

Hey I've only got a minute to post but something that stuck out of your post with what you said about your second babe - is it possible she had a slight tongue tie? The fact she didn't take much of the bottle in her mouth either just makes it sound like a possibility.
Might be worth asking the midwives to check this bub when it's born - just a matter of having a look in their mouth...tongue tie is often a cause of attachment problems that doesn't get picked up and it's really easy to correct.

Have a look here

Just a thought...if you google tongue tie and breastfeeding you'll find lots of info. This is also often runs in families so if you have one baby with it it's quite possible to have another.

GL

[mummymimi]

My second daughter was born with a tongue tie and she could barely open her mouth, it made breastfeeding very difficult. My third daughter was also born with a tongue tie but we knew what to look for so it was picked up immediately. I would definately check for it once the baby is born.

On a positive note I had to stop breastfeeding my first two daughters at 3 and 4 months but I am still feeding my third daughter at 13 months so it is possible. Each baby is different and with everything you have learn't from your first two babies you may be lucky and breastfeed without any problems this time.

[reAllytee]

I havent any true advice cause obviously things didnt work out for us but as Emmylou suggested get things like tongue ties looked for & ruled out. That way if there are true physical reasons then you can work on them iykwim.

I made sure i got them to check for a tongue tie with Squeak because of all the dramas i had with Boof but it made no difference. He just had no true sucking reflex & really if i had been in hospy longer they wouldnt have discharged us but hey you cant change the past ! He still doesnt have it properly to be honest & just doesnt like to feed.

But as they say each experience is totally different so there is a really good chance all will go fine this time & with all the experience you have gained there is a good chance of success.

Good luck

[Roxy]

You know that I am on your side 1000% babe

M was a shocking feeder - she fussed, she didn't open her mouth, she attached incorrectly, she pulled off when she was finally attached correctly - it was a nightmare. I persisted for 4 months with her and then decided enough was enough. The midwives did suspect she had a tongue tie (DH has quite a bad one), but concluded that she didn't have one, was just a shocking feeder....and she's still fussy!

As you know, D was the complete opposite - he latched on like there was no tomorrow and the feed he was currently having was his last! I fed him til about 6-7mths when he decided that it was far more interesting looking around the room when feeding than concentrating on the job at hand...

Maybe just see how you go with this one again - maybe 3rd time lucky?

[patsmum]

hi

this may not be any use to you but it may

the chiro i used to go to did baby chiro and there was quite a few cases that a bit of adjustment meant babies could feed properly

some babies can be damage during the birthing process, my fil had this problem and now he has major back troubles thats why i went to the chiro in the first place to get my bub checked.