Have I crossed the line?

**FiveInTheBed** · 08-06-2008 16:43

About a month ago we one of our best mates pulled up along side us with his 3yo in the front seat, no booster, and seat belt up to her neck, my DP mentioned that air bags could harm or kill any kids under 12 in the front seat... he shrugged and said he was just going to get the paper and that she didn't want to get her seat ( a 5 pointed maxi rider!)...and that the air bag could prob kill an adult too!! He also drives with her on his lap from their mothers place to theirs(only one block) letting her hold the wheel. And then also complains about the young hoons speeding around the corner and up their street)

i had been meaning to run this by his wife every time we catch up, but we always get caught up chasing our kiddies...you know how it is!!??!!
Then late one night after watching the link from here in the 'booster seats' thread, I felt compelled to post it as a link on my Facebook page, as it is something I feel stronlgy about, at the time I noticed my friend online and sent her a message to watch it and to get her husband to watch it as we had seen him with their daughter in the front seat and would feel terrible if anything happened to her ... (I admit I should've a different way of telling her, but it was late at night, kids in bed, and an impulse thing)
... (by the way I have been great mates with her since primary school and, and my DP has been mates with him since high school, we were best man and brides maid in their wedding! and myDP is the 3yo's god father)
We have since talked about this... He feels I dobbed him in and was childish, and because it's not against the law something that we shouldn't be 'telling him off for' ( and he hasn't watched the link, because he doesn't like being told what to do).
I feel I have been a responsible friend/adult/parent looking out for his daughter who we love and don't want to see anything bad happen to, and also said that if he saw me, my DP, family or friends out with any of my kids doing something that may put them in harms way hat I would want him to tell me or DP!!!
(my friend says she can see both sides)

I am hoping the tension in the air will soon clear and things will be back to normal soon... Do you think I have crossed the line? What would you have done? Or have you done something similar and what was the outcome?

**0BleSseD0** · 08-06-2008 16:48

Well, it soon WILL be against the law.

Anyway, it is the mothers child too. How would he feel if she were making potentially dangerous choices out of laziness and not telling him??

She deserved to know, but you probably should have talked to her in person.

I think that the dad will have felt like you 'dobbed' him in either way, because he knows it was not a good choice and knows his wife will most likely be upset with him for it.

**Myztik** · 08-06-2008 16:48

He must know what he was doing is wrong or he wouldn't care if his wife found out. I dont think you have crossed the line. It is illegal!!

**cheezelz** · 08-06-2008 16:50

I dont think you crossed the line at all. His wife may be furious with him for doing it but may not have known about it. Bringing it up even indirectly was the right thing to do. I mean how would you feel if they had an accident and something happened to the child? Wouldnt you hate yourself for not having mentioned it. You cant make them do the right thing but at least you made them aware of it.

**CorbinSethLincoln** · 08-06-2008 16:52

He would never forgive himself if something happened. If my partner did that and something terrible happened, i dont know how i would look at him. He is a grown man, he should know better. My kids say they dont want to sit in their seats sometimes and i tell them i wont start the car untill they are in them! If they want to go to the shops they get in the seats quick smart.

**0BleSseD0** · 08-06-2008 16:56

Originally Posted by corbinseth

He would never forgive himself if something happened. If my partner did that and something terrible happened, i dont know how i would look at him. He is a grown man, he should know better. My kids say they dont want to sit in their seats sometimes and i tell them i wont start the car untill they are in them! If they want to go to the shops they get in the seats quick smart.

I would not be able to look at anybody who was that careless.. It is just lazy and his wife deserved to know he is putting his daughters life at risk!!

**FiveInTheBed** · 08-06-2008 20:58

Thankyou for your support, its been eating away at me that I had 'interfered'

I can't wait til these news laws come in to help protect all of our little ones xx

**Mischief** · 08-06-2008 21:05

Originally Posted by Myztik

He must know what he was doing is wrong or he wouldn't care if his wife found out. I dont think you have crossed the line. It is illegal!!

Its STUPID, even it if its not illegal as yet!!!!

**lukaelmo** · 08-06-2008 21:08

Don't know, don't know, don't know...

My very best memory of my father when I was a child is sitting on his lap while he let me steer our family V Dub around horse paddocks and up and down a cul-de-sac. I LOVED it... I also have photos (but no memories) of riding on the front of my dad's motorbike (in horse paddocks again!) and yes, lol, also on horses with my mother when I would have been all of one.

Sooo... I don't know. Was it irresponsible of my father... I only remember it as being fun.

And... I am going to be shot down in flames for this, but I have put Luka (almost 3) in the front of mum and dad's car and driven around the horse paddocks with him... He loves it and thinks it's the most hilarious fun in the world.

I'm not saying it's right... I am saying I don't know... lol, have I said it enough yet?

**punkbaby** · 08-06-2008 21:11

Noo way!! We were a block from home when we were wiped out, if ds wasnt in a car seat he would be dead it split and shattered pretty much, if he was in the front the injuries that i had wuold have killed a child!!