Certainly, my wife ought to learn to control her spending, but that is something that I can not force her to do so I will not bother to worry about it. Hopefully she will see the things that our family is missing out on because of her habit and decide to change. Of course, when confronted with the choice of controlling her spending or having a child she decided to have her cake and eat it too so I shouldn't be too hopeful. We will manage fine financially even while paying off the debt.
To be honest, I am in a prenatal depression forum and I do not even know what prenatal depression is. I do not know if it is possible for men to have it or whether men are explicitly excluded by its definition. Maybe that is why I have trouble finding male perspective. I arrived here based on a google search. The quality of posters here is comparatively high. I noticed this morning that this is an Australian board. Thank you all for being bothered to read the ramblings of an American.
There are definitely trust issues that I have with my wife. I feel disrespected. She has some things that I am encouraging her to work on and hope she will choose to make a change. All of this is unrelated to the forum topic. I can find a more appropriate avenue to work through these issues. I mentioned them in this thread only to give background on for fears I have with my resentment of the baby.
I have a few other mates that I watch sports with. It is unlikely they would give me advice deeper than forcing me to go to the bar with them and get drunk. I am really in no mood to drink nor do I think it would be ultimately helpful.
My buddies from church would be most suitable, but they are talkers. There is a lot of gossip in the church even among some of the staff. I doubt that anything I tell them would remain in confidence. I will consider if there are any of them that I could talk to.
Thanks for the advice. I wish you the best of luck with your situation too.
I need to bite my tongue. I already said enough boneheaded things in regard to this. I am too emotionally charged now and might say things that are hurtful that I would regret later.
It was inappropriate for me to draw comparisons between my situation and that of a victim of date rape or partner rape. Survivors of that have a whole additional bag of burden to deal with. I apologize to any survivors out there that found my comments to be insensitive and hurtful. My thinking was not clear.