Delayed

**Teley** · 10-05-2008 15:21

I feel like such a c**p parent. I think my little boy is perfect, and I work so hard to try to get his speech up to the standards of what he should be speaking. And it's not like we don't work at it; it is CONSTANT work. Constant hard work. ANd sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough, even though some parents next to me work so much less at their child's speech, and there they are babbling away.
My son has speech delay, and he's nearly 3, and I just feel like as much as I try to give him the best, I just can't make him be like he is supposed to for his age group.
He is a loving boy, he is very caring, social and active; and I think even he realises that other kids around him can speak, but as hard as he tries, he just can't get the words out.
And I hate it if people make comments like, oh you should try harder, or don't you spend time learning with him or something?
I feel like I failed him in some way

.

**Chunkydunks** · 10-05-2008 15:34

You have not failed him!!!! No way have you. You are doing your best and so is he. Just ignore what other people say. You know what you're doing is everything you can.

**Hollywood** · 10-05-2008 15:37

Originally Posted by kirstyhunter

You have not failed him!!!! No way have you. You are doing your best and so is he. Just ignore what other people say. You know what you're doing is everything you can.

**LivinOnAPrayer** · 10-05-2008 16:10

It sucks doesnt it. Some people just dont understand what its like to have a child with extra needs. You've not failed your son!!

You cant do any more than your best and im sure in time things will look up. Have you got help from speechies??
Its not easy, but your doing such a great job!! Your obviously a very caring mum.

**mumofcuties** · 10-05-2008 16:22

oh hun you are not a **** parent and you definatly have not failed you son

all kids learn at different ages theres only so much you can teach them, . if other people are so mean and inconsiderate of how much time and effort you put in with your son and his speach well bugger them then obviously they have no idea and arnt worth your time

**MyFourCubs** · 10-05-2008 17:47

Originally Posted by MBR

I feel like such a c**p parent. I think my little boy is perfect, and I work so hard to try to get his speech up to the standards of what he should be speaking. And it's not like we don't work at it; it is CONSTANT work. Constant hard work.

.

Look, I hear you.

My 2 year old is autistic and we have been seeing a speechy since last December. At first we made fantastic ground and then, as is often the case with autism, he will regress to nothing. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with all the stuff we are meant to be doing for him- speech, OT, play therapy and it's so hard to squeeze it in on top of regular life with 3 kids. I have my older daughter who has homework, reading etc and my 1 year old who basically just gets dragged along everywhere behind her big brother. What I'm saying is, I feel like I exhaust myself trying so hard to help him and for very little, if any result. I feel like a failure, especially when people say things like, "oh it must be hard trying to find the time..." or, it's unfortunate the baby came along and you obviously couldn't spend any 1 on 1 time with him. That's basically what they told me at Karitane caused his autism!! Soetimes, I feel so defeated and I just don't want to try anymore. It's hard to get excited when he says new words and he will probably just lose them again.

So sorry, I didn't mean to take over your thread, I should have written my own

So sorry, just wanted you to know you are not alone.
Sara

**Teley** · 10-05-2008 21:05

Sara

I feel guilty for causing such a fuss since I'm sure you have it so much harder. And you're not at all overtaking my thread, I can't believe they said something as horrible as that at Karitane!

Lexi -- it does suck. I don't know what's wrong. My Alex (has anyone noticed how many mums of Alexs are in this thread!!!) seems to be doing fine (touch wood). Except for the speech thing.
I've had my suspicions since he was one. Everybody in the family are early speakers, but he wasn't saying anything but mama at one; and the way he said it was really strange. He also used to make really weird sounds, even when he was a little baby. My friend who's a speechie told me that the issue is probably phenological (sp?), as in, he can't say most letters. He actually can speak and he has that vocalubary, it's just that barrier, we get somewhere but not very far with practice. It's late so I don't know if I'm explaining this properly -- but basically he'll go, bibubibi for mutsubishi; or say, if he wants to say Sasha he'll say dada. He just can't say the other letters, so it must be frustrating for him having learned the words not being able to say them. He just makes really weird sounds, and I think it may be something to do with....Idk, vocal cords

?jaw formation

? I have no clue!
We're on the waiting list to see speechies, but my friend told me she'll give him a free assesment, and I'm taking him next week to my uni to see what they can do for me as well. I'll update everyone later

.

**MyFourCubs** · 10-05-2008 21:41

Please don't think that I have it harder than you- I didn't mean to imply that at all. Every one of us has it tough and I guess we are just doing the best we can.

I am starting to find it very weird how many autistic Alex's there seem to be. (Not that yours is, thank goodness.) I was even given a book for my older dd from the speechy that starts- "My name is Alex and I have autism!" The first womwn I met who has an autistic son, his name is Alexander. Very weird. (Or maybe thatere is just lots and lots and lots of Alex's...

)

I find the same thing with my Alex about the word formation. I was just thinking tonight, we were reading "there are 5 in the bed," and he tries to say, "Roll over, roll over" but he says it more, "woh woh...a" Kind of, that isn't quite right but you know what I mean. He tries so hard to say the words and it's as though he genuinely can't. His OT says he has low muscle tone in his face (he has it all over) and that is partly the reason he has trouble speaking. His speechy says he doesn't have any palet issues so I don't know. Boy is it frustrating though!!!!!!

Sara

**kiwibird27** · 11-05-2008 10:47

I know how hard it is. All u can do is surround yourself with real friends who understand and support u. Everyone else can **** off!!!! Having a child with special needs is the most challenging and rewarding thing ever, There is always some-one worse off than you, but that doesn't mean your issues aren't just as important or as stressful to you.

My daughter has many medical and developmental issues and we have lots of therapies, My daughters issues are just as stressful to me, as your childs issues are to you, we are all in this together, no matter how different each child is.
Big Hugs

My friend nearly 3 year old is currently in hospital AGAIN, she is septic, has pneumonia, and is in liver failure, that reminds me things aren't so bad.

**Teley** · 13-05-2008 11:00

Thank you everyone for your responses!
Just want to say, we made progress, DS managed to say 's', so now we say stider, instead of tider, he still can't say p though (spider). I'm so proud

!
Sara, your Alex seems just like my Alex with the word formation from what you said. I'm still in line to see the speechies, although I never really thought he had bad muscle tone on his face...I may have to check that out. Is it possible to only have it on your face, because I know he doesn't have bad muscle in general? I went to see uni, they put me on a waiting list, but apparently it's a really long one as well, PLUS it's 40 a session

! It's hard when you're on a sp pension!
Kiwibird,

, I really hope your friend's DS recovers soon

!
I really admire all you parents out there with kids who have special needs. Although I think we would all agree that they're all perfect regardless!

ETA -- Sara, what you said about autistic Alex's is pretty weird lol!