I found that I felt comforted by having women with me that had birthed before - like that they were going through the pain with me because they had felt it in their own bodies before and they knew what I was going through. They knew that sometimes I needed my brow mopped but other times I just needed my own space and that they didn't take my actions or words personally.
Hrmm I do remember thinking to myself that dh had no idea what I felt because he didn't have the bodily instruments I had. So when he was saying "Oh I see the head crowning, they don't call it the ring of fire for nothing" it didn't help me out!!! So I felt that dh was there because this was partly his experience too, so he didn't need to be just there to support me but that he may need some support too! I mean this was his baby too..... know what I mean?
Freebirth is all about you though... your body, your mind, your soul, birthing the baby that you have grown inside your own self. The experience of being able to reach down and show yourself what you have made is fantabulous! --- very selfish in a positive way!