Husband issues

[clucky07]

Hi. Gee I thought I was the only woman in the world to feel like you do! Obviously there are thousands. But when you're there, it feels like you're alone. My DH is very similar to yours. I'm 6 months along with our first baby, and he hasn't felt her kick yet. He's been with me to ultrasounds and most of the other appointments but, like your hubby, he is somewhat detached and distant. Having said that, he's excited (in his own subtle way) and rubs my tummy often, says things like "how are my girls doing" and stuff like that. It's just that when I feel her kicking, he's not around and when he is, he's not patient enough to wait a few minutes for a kick.

It is frustrating and makes me sad and upset. I know the blokes can't feel anything, and like the other ladies have said, it's not 'real' for them until they see this little wriggly pink bub for the first time and get to hold them. I've got a stack of preg mags and a book he's welcome to read, and he has made some effort to read a few articles.

It seems like it's not real to the guy until the second ultrasound, when he can see the shape of baby's face, the hands and feet, and find out the gender. Yes, there is really another person living inside this swelling belly!!

One thing I've learned, my DH doesn't like to be told to read or do things where the pregnancy is concerned. I tend to leave articles out for him to read at his leisure, (just left around on the table or the bed at the page it's on) like what's happening at this stage in pregnancy, what to expect and articles from other dads 'from the bloke's perspective'. At least he can read them in privacy and I don't hassle him. Maybe try this approach with your DH, see how it goes.

Like everyone says, enjoy your pregnancy! I'm trying to do the same and at times like this it's hard but keep in mind, something beautiful is growing inside you, that you and hubby made together. I think it will finally dawn on him when he meets bub for the first time and falls head over heels in love... I like to think that's how it should be!!!

[melbryan]

sorry to hear this but unfortunately I think it's just men. Don't get me wrong, not all men.

When bub arrives it'll be more 'real' for him.

I hope this helps a little

I have to agree to me most men I know are like this, I wish my Dh wasn't but honestly he is at least I had enough excitement for both of us. My Dh is more hands on from 2 yrs and up.

[Cordelia]

This is men. Sorry - but it's the truth. Generally speaking, they dont feel the pregnancy until they actually see their kid and..

that, for me, was the most amazing experience of my life seeing DH holding our little girl. His whole face was shining.. tears in his eyes. I have never seen anything so beautiful. He didn't show a huge amount of interest during the pregnancy but this moment was worth way more than that. I am getting goosebumps just typing abotu it.

PS just wanted to add - dont push him about it - let him come to terms with parenthood in his own way. Pushing him will just make it worse. be gentle on him and more gentle on yourself! Enjoy it!

[Nozzy]

I heard a story once about a guy not "bonding" with the belly, so someone suggested they find out the sex of the baby so that he could relate more to the child