I am sorry this will be long winded.
I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first child, who was planned and wanted very much. My problem is that my hubby does not seem interested in this pregnancy at all. He says he is and that he just doesn't show excitement like I do which is fair enough, but I did expect interest of some kind. Don't get me wrong, he is a loving, wonderful hubby who I adore... but I am finding myself more and more upset/depressed at his lack of interest.
When our baby kicked for the first time I expected excitement from him... when I told him all he said was "yeah?" That's it. When I told him how it feels etc he just really didn't seem interested. This is the feeling I get whenever I mention anything about bub.
Now in all fairness to him, he has always been scared of having kids (didn't want them at all until he met me) and so I know this is a big adjustment for him and he is not as "into it" as I am, but I kind of hoped he would come around a bit once he saw the bub on ultrasound and knew it was moving etc.
We even went through a hard time a few weeks ago with being told we had high risk for down syndrome and had an amnio. This was an awful time and even though I know he was stressed about it too, his opinion was that if it had DS he didn't want to continue with the pregnancy. It was not so easy for me... I was 90% sure I wanted to continue. All turned out fine but I did think that going through that together would've made him more keen on baby. It was not to be.
I try to get him involved by buying him a no frills easy to understand baby book for blokes... written by a dad... I thought this would help him (and me). Well I am in my 5th month and he has read 4 pages I think, which I had to hassle him to read. I told him it would help him understand what I was going through and so would be helpful to me too.. it made no difference. The book still sits beside the bed, unread. He even says things like "why you so crabby today?" and I reply "if you read the book you would know". I have spoken to him about this and he says all is fine and he just is scared... I do not doubt this but can't he show some interest too? Doesn't he get that it makes me feel like I am doing this alone?
Am I being totally unfair to him? Should I just accept that he will not be excited and leave it alone? I just feel so sad about it sometimes... I just really want to share this wonderful time with him.
Any advice or ideas etc would be greatly appreciated.