sorry its long but i need to share

**annie86** · 17-02-2008 14:27

Hi all,

I am very sorry for all of your losses!

I wish i had known about this site last year when i Lost my first son, but I hope it helps me through it this time with the loss of my 2nd child a little baby girl.

this might be long i feel like i want to talk and get out my story for the first time.

My first pregnany Everthing seemed to be going well with my ultrasound until my second Trimester one when i recieved a phone call about a hour after i had it and was told I had to go to Monash medical to have another ultrasound they detected something may have been wrong with his heart, but i had to wait 2weeks before i could get in to see the specialist. so the 2weeks were the worst wait ever.
When my partner and I arrived for the scan we were taken into a room and a very detailed ultrasound was done taking about 1.5hours. After that they took us into a room and told us that there was nothing wrong with his heart BUT he was not growing to plan and had tiny kidneys for his age and i had very little amniotic fluid around him, so all of this together they said there was no way that if we went full term that he would survive but we kept our hope up and went for another scan. The same bad news i was 22weeks pregnant but he was only the size of a 16week old baby. Again we were told he wouldnt survive outside my womb so my partner and I made the hardest decision to terminate as he would have been in pain if he survived even a few minutes.
So on the 23rd of march 07 i gave birth to our beautiful little boy Xavier weighing only 230grams.
From there tests were carried out to see what the problems where and what caused them. 4 months later we were told that we had a getetic makeup problem between my partner are i and we needed more tests to get a answer as to what it was out of 4 things. 1month after that we were told it was down to 2 conditions one had a 1 in 4chance of happening each pregnancy and the other was just something that happened and 1 in 250,000 chance of heppening again. We yet again had more tests and in september i found out i was pregnant again. We saw the specialists again and they finally got a answer of the condition. We have a 1in4 chance and it was called ATD.

My pregnancy seemed to be going well then i had a scan at 15weeks and it showed the baby had started to slow down its growth and was told we needed to decide if we wanted to continue the pregnancy or terminate again, but we kept our hopes up again and continued it ultrasound every week. each scan we were told the baby was not growing i had no fluid left so we either terminated, continued with the risk of the baby's heart stopping and not making it full term or make it full term and baby not survive. We continued until 20weeks when the scan showed no heart beat our little angel had not made it again.

we were and are so devistated, even though we were told to expect this happening it does not make anything easier.
So on the 26th Jan 08 i gave birth to a beautful baby girl named Paige but this time only weighing 30grams.

Our 2 little angels even though they were so small were so beautiful and will forever be in our hearts.

We got to have our angels buried in the same grave so that they can be together forever.
Everyday goes on and i wonder why... why us but its just somehting that happens. so hopefully we can get through this one with everyday that comes and we can be happy and have a health baby soon. even though some days i really dont think it will happen. I miss them both more and more as each day goes by.

Thanks for the site and letting me share my story.

Rhiannon.

**Crazy Bananas** · 17-02-2008 16:19

Just wanted to give you some of these

Thankyou for sharing your story.

**Manxie** · 17-02-2008 16:23

I am so sorry for your losses

**QTB** · 17-02-2008 16:41

Hi Rhiannon.

thanks for sharing your story, im so sorry for your loss, my uncle and his wife have something similer, when their genes are mixed some genetic problem happens with there bubbas, they have also lost 2 babies, in a similer way to you, but the good news is they just had a beautiful little girl a few months ago that is perfectly healthy

I hope you have a successful pregnancy soon, and im sure your darling angels will be watching over their future little brother or sister

Take care