Presents or Money?

**Ryan Jones** · 10-02-2008 00:06

First off....sorry if this post is in the wrong place but I didn't really know where to put it.

I just found out a few days ago that I was about to become an Uncle for the first time. The baby is due in July and I'd like to buy my brother/SIL some new things for the baby.

They aren't millionaires and I don't think they have a lot of savings to put towards their new baby which I think came as a surprise.

I've been googling prams & cots etc... for the past couple of days and have come across these three items.

http://www.2cute4kids.com.au/p/29808...-Cameleon.html

(I would also be looking at getting some of the accessories that come with this.....any help would be appreciated)

http://www.2cute4kids.com.au/p/22329...rever-cot.html

http://www.babiesgalore.com.au/view_...ategoryid%3D42

They seem to pretty popular according to search results/baby forums, but I was wondering if it's a good idea to go ahead and buy them?

My gf thinks I'm nuts and says that buying these type of items is very much a personal thing (for the new parents) and that I should just give them the cash (3K) instead.

However, I'd much rather buy them some presents than just handing over cash.

Are buying those type of things as presents a no-no? Thoughts?

Thankyou

**neostudded** · 10-02-2008 00:23

Firstly congrats on becoming an uncle

Have you tryed asking them what they have for the baby so far?

Even if they arent rich they might already have some stuff.Id also rather actually buy them something rather then just give them the cash.Maybe ask them what they dont have yet for the baby that you could buy and just show them the items just before you buy them to see if they like them or not?

Also from what ive heard the pram you posted is very popular

.

Another item that I reccomend is the "egro-baby carrier".

I just wanted to let you know I was getting just under 100 dollars a week when I was pregnant with my baby, and it was such a struggle getting everything ready.I really think I would have been very grateful if my family member helped me out so much.

edit-to-add, another suggestion is telling your brother and SIL to pick out 3 k worth of baby stuff and you could buy it for them.

**Ryan Jones** · 10-02-2008 00:34

Originally Posted by neostudded

Firstly congrats on becoming an uncle

Have you tryed asking them what they have for the baby so far?

Thanks. I think I'm just as excited as my brother.

I don't think they've bought much so far as they are waiting to find out whether it's a boy or girl.....they find out on Tuesday.

They will also have to buy most of the clothes etc... because none of my SIL's siblings have had children either. It will be the first child for both families.

Also from what ive heard the pram you posted is very popular

.

Apparently. There are a lot of threads about that pram.

Another item that I reccomend is the "egro-baby carrier".

I have no idea what that is. I'll have to look into it.

Also I was getting just under 100 dollars a week when I was pregnant with my baby, and it was such a struggle getting everything ready.I really think I would have been very grateful if my family member helped me out so much.

Yeah as I said, I think this has come as a pretty big shock to both of them and I'd like to help out as I'm doing ok and they are struggling a little.

Thanks for your help

**Tam-I-Am** · 10-02-2008 00:44

I personally would be really hesitant to buy such things - even for a family member. Buying your child's nursery furniture is such a personal, and special thing, its such a time of bonding - and although I can see from your post you're really well-intentioned (and excited!) my personal advice would be to either a) gift them with the money or b) take them shopping yourself - so THEY get to chose the things that are bought for their baby.

Also, I do see that the items you have chosen are kind of the 'best of the best' - which is lovely - but also somewhat unnecessary. I know people who SWEAR by bugaboos and Booris, but likewise, people who really don't like them at all. Again, different people want different things from their baby products...so you might be totally off the mark with regard to what they want.

I do also kind of think that if they're stuggling, and you can get a VERY decent pram for, say $500 - spending $1500 on such an item might be a bit of overkill - and the other $1000 might be better spend on, for example, giving them a bit of breathing room with regard to their mortgage/rent etc.

I think that its such a lovely idea that you're thinking of - and really, it sounds like you're just so excited to be becoming an uncle, which is just lovely - but perhaps you could have a better chat to your bro and SIL and see what they really need and want, offer to do it a bit of a different way, etc before committing to buying such big, expensive, and personal-choice items

Please feel free to ignore this - its IS only my opinion, and not intended to come across as criticism at all.

**neostudded** · 10-02-2008 00:45

Hey again

I love the wooden boori cot, the cot is just divine LOL.Ive being eyeing that cot off for three year's, and iam sure iam not alone!!!

**Ryan Jones** · 10-02-2008 01:04

Originally Posted by Tam-I-Am

Buying your child's nursery furniture is such a personal, and special thing, its such a time of bonding

Yeah that's pretty much what my gf has been telling me. I thought I'd get a 2nd opinion here because I don't want to step on any toes.

a) gift them with the money or b) take them shopping yourself - so THEY get to chose the things that are bought for their baby.

This is the hard part. My brother is a very proud person and has refused money from me in the past to help out with the mortgage etc...

That's why I was hoping to give them some gifts, so my brother couldn't refuse them.

Also, I do see that the items you have chosen are kind of the 'best of the best' - which is lovely - but also somewhat unnecessary. I know people who SWEAR by bugaboos and Booris, but likewise, people who really don't like them at all. Again, different people want different things from their baby products...so you might be totally off the mark with regard to what they want.

Three days ago I wouldn't have had a clue what a 'bugaboo' was. I don't know if they are the 'best of the best'......I was just trying to find something that was universally popular.

However, you are right in saying I might be way off the mark. Apparently they come in all different colours, so I wouldn't want to guess at the right one.

I do also kind of think that if they're stuggling, and you can get a VERY decent pram for, say $500 - spending $1500 on such an item might be a bit of overkill - and the other $1000 might be better spend on, for example, giving them a bit of breathing room with regard to their mortgage/rent etc.

See above. He won't accept any help with mortgage etc...

but perhaps you could have a better chat to your bro and SIL and see what they really need and want, offer to do it a bit of a different way, etc before committing to buying such big, expensive, and personal-choice items

Will do. I think it's probably best if I leave the buying up to the parents. I just have to find a way of giving them the money without also offending them.

Please feel free to ignore this - its IS only my opinion, and not intended to come across as criticism at all.

None taken.....some great advice....thanks.

**Ryan Jones** · 10-02-2008 01:07

Originally Posted by neostudded

Hey again

I love the wooden boori cot, the cot is just divine LOL.Ive being eyeing that cot off for three year's, and iam sure iam not alone!!!

Yeah I definitely like the look of that and it will be on my 'too buy list' as well when we have our first child.

**Jenko** · 10-02-2008 16:25

What about a gift voucher for a baby store like Babies Galore. Your brother may be more willing to accept a gift voucher than cash.

**InSaneOne** · 10-02-2008 16:30

just ask them - what can i get you for the baby - it won't hurt them in a month or so you can either take them shopping or gift them a voucher (if they won't accept money)

me personally - i would just take them shopping. tell them that you want to help out and buy some of the larger items for the new baby as a gift to them. let them know you are kinda clueless and want them to help picking out the items.

**mum1986** · 10-02-2008 17:37

Originally Posted by Jenko

What about a gift voucher for a baby store like Babies Galore. Your brother may be more willing to accept a gift voucher than cash.

i really like that idea. i would go with that. even if you get different vouchers for diferent stores (such as baby stores but also target coles(for some groceries) and myer, etc) then attach them to a small pot plant that way it shows that you care enough and are excited enough to put the thought and effort into the gift without stepping on any toes or buying the wrong thing.
p.s congrats on becoming an uncle.