Keeping own name - a problem with kids at school?

**tlkmelb** · 25-01-2008 14:26

I hope this is the right place to put this thread!

I kept my name when I got married and our daughter has her father's surname. After considering the possibilities (e.g. double-barrelling), it was a case of being 'easier' that she has his name.

I've been asked since then why I don't just go ahead and change mine, then we could be a 'real family' cos all our names would be the same. I've also been accused of making life harder for our kid(s) because they'll always have to explain that my name isn't the same.

Have others out there experienced this, or similar? Did others keep their names and, if so, was your child's surname an issue?

**shelle65** · 25-01-2008 14:34

Gosh, it's so common these days I don't think it would be a problem at all! My DD has a different last name to me, as do a number of mums and bubs I know.

I think it's a bit superficial to say you are a "real family" only if you all have the same last name... there is so much more to being a "real family" than labels.

**WorkingClassMum** · 25-01-2008 14:38

Just get used to saying

It's Jane Smith here, I'm John Brown's mother

on the phone alllll the time

and No It's S.M.I.T.H., Brown is his name

and No his name is Brown, MY name is Smith

You've put SMITH on the letter/certificate/enrolment, his name is Brown

Yes the cRedit Card is in my name, his Name is Brown

Yes I did enrol my son in this swimming class - My name is Smith, his name is Brown

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH

**punkbaby** · 25-01-2008 14:39

I dont think its a problem before i married dh i had my maiden name, dd9 had her dads name and i had two kids with dhs name lol now dd9 is the only one with a different name, its quiet common your a family weather you have the same name or not

**Gumby** · 25-01-2008 14:42

Oh gosh I hope its not a problem. My 2 dd's have there father surname (my ex) and my ds and I have my husbands name. They will probably will be asked why there little brothers name is different.

**SorenLorensen** · 25-01-2008 14:46

Originally Posted by shelle65

Gosh, it's so common these days I don't think it would be a problem at all! My DD has a different last name to me, as do a number of mums and bubs I know.

I think it's a bit superficial to say you are a "real family" only if you all have the same last name... there is so much more to being a "real family" than labels.

.
DP and i arnt married yet (i chose the option of a new house instead

).
DD has his last name as will our next bub due in a few weeks.

there are so many single, remarried and defacto mums out there these days that have kids with different names to them.
its never been an issue for me, but then again i would not let it become one, there are more important things that make a family.

**SilverStarfish** · 25-01-2008 14:46

I don't think it would be an issue at all. My last name is different to DH & the kids, I've never had any hassles so far.

**Nex** · 25-01-2008 14:50

I don't see it as an issue.

I kept my name for all legal purposes. And my husband doesn't own me.

But when the need arises I am Mrs X to those who need to know me as such to avoid confusion.

I just never sign my name or introduce myself as Mrs X.

**Beany** · 25-01-2008 14:58

Originally Posted by KayteO

Just get used to saying

It's Jane Smith here, I'm John Brown's mother

on the phone alllll the time

and No It's S.M.I.T.H., Brown is his name

and No his name is Brown, MY name is Smith

You've put SMITH on the letter/certificate/enrolment, his name is Brown

Yes the cRedit Card is in my name, his Name is Brown

Yes I did enrol my son in this swimming class - My name is Smith, his name is Brown

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH

**missie_mack** · 25-01-2008 15:18

Never had a problem to date (except for other people voicing their personal opinion on the matter

) Infact because my mother is remarried not one person in my family has the same name

DH, DS and I as a family unit go buy the hyphenated surname. Doesnt make us less of a family IMO What is easy isnt neccessarily right for you.

Yanno my DH in most cases is called Mr (my surname)

these days he doesnt even flinch. However on the rare occassion I am called Mrs (his surname) I have to stop and think before realising it is me they are talking about.