Clinging to Mum.

[Scossie]

Hi,

Dad looking for advice...

Our daughter Christina is 13 months old.
She's a great wee girl. Very happy and cheerful nearly all of the time. We couldn't wish for a better child. She's even been sleeping all through the night since she was 2 weeks old...!

The problem is she's unbelievably clingy to her Mum. I work full time and my Wife has been on indefinite maternity leave since Christina was born so she's with Mum a lot more than me which obviously means she has a much stronger bond with her Mum.

When all 3 of us are in a room she's fine but when Mum leaves the room she goes ballistic even though her Dad is still there. I try to tell her everything is OK but she still seems to panic.

Even when we're all together and I try to give her a cuddle she struggles to get back to her Mum. (she's been crawling for 3 months and is just about ready to start walking).

I took 2 weeks off off work for Christmas and we spent ALL of that time together as a family. We thought this would make Christina less clingy as I was there all of the time, but it didn't really make much difference.

All of this is pretty hurtful for me as I obviously love my wee girl as much as her Mum does but she only seems to want her Mum.

I was wondering if any other Dads, (or Mums) have had a similar experience, and if so, any advice would be most welcome...

[Shellfish]

Hi Scossie,

We are going through it too at the moment. Our little boy who has always been independent and confident has become extremely clingy. My poor hubby who is a model dad gets ignored completely.

I don't really have any advice except to say that your little girl should grow out of it fairly soon.
You are not alone!!

[Rell]

Hi and welcome to bub hub
This is a very common problem especially with babys around your daughters age. My Son was the worst out of my 2 kids, if I ducked out to the shops and left him with Dh he would scream until I got back.
One thing that has helped him was joining a playgroup. At first he would just cling to me but eventually he got the hang of playing and seperating from me.
As for you, perservierance is the best advice i can give. maybe try finding someting sepecial that only the 2 of you do. Does she have a book read each night, in our house we always alternate it so both parents get a chance to read to both kids.

Hang in there it will get better

[Missy75]

As you say, it is normal for them to have a stronger bond with the stay at home parent, but the clinginess is extremely common at her age.

I still sneak out when our son (almost 2) has to stay with Dad... I know "they" say you shouldn't, but if he knows I'm leaving he screams his head off, where as if I sneak out he looks for me for a minute then goes on playing.

He was much worse when he was a bub and when I was going back to work part time we knew we had to break the clinginess a bit. We took turns bathing and reading bedtime stories - initially doing it together, then me popping out of the room for a minute.. 5 minutes.. etc. We shared as many of the "baby duties" as possible. Then I'd pop out to the shop on my own, and by the time I started work he was no problem.

Peek-a-boo's a good game which will teach her that her mum might be gone for a little while but she always comes back.

Also I always made (and still do) a big fuss of Daddy coming home. And while they had their hello cuddles I'd pop out of sight for a few minutes.

All the best

[Benji]

My son went through that with me when he was quite little and his poor Dad couldn't even have a 5 minute cuddle with him. We just had to go with the flow until he grew out of it.

Now, he is the biggest Daddy's boy which is hard because I'm the one with him all day and all I hear about is his Dad. It's very cute.

When his Dad is about to leave for work or go out, I usually try to do something fun to distract him. We will go and play out the back or do something that he likes and most of the time he forgets that dad is leaving.

This is just a phase and it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you any less. Not at all. Most babies and toddlers go through this. It's totally normal. Just try to have some fun with your little girl.

[MW&S]

Everyone has given great advice already. I just wanted to say that we are the same! Our 13mth old clings to me for dear life and is such a mummies girl. Its just the age.

Lets hope it passes soon for everyone!

[Scossie]

Thanks everyone for all the good advice.

It's good to find out that this is not an unusual thing and Christina should grow out of it.

Good luck to everyone out there going through the same stage...