Breast Feeding in Public

**SassyMummy** · 14-03-2006 00:07

Some of you may have seen the Dr Phil episode on today (Monday March 13), where different topics were argued over. One of them was breastfeeding in public.

I know there will be many of you out there who are all for it, but I also know that there are probably plenty of you who are all for breastfeeding...but wish it was done a bit more discretely...and was just wondering everyone's views on the topic.

I'm 100% for breastfeeding in public. Before I had my daughter, I didn't want to do it, but when I had her, I understood why many women do it in the park, at a restaurant or wherever else they please. It made sense to me.

I think it's a bit awful for a nursing mother to be "shunned" to the parents room in order to feed her child...especially when she is out with other people. Is she expected to leave her friends/family for half an hour or whatever? What if she is in the middle of dinner? Some might argue that she shouldn't be eating out during a time when the baby might want a feed - but I argue that some babies aren't predictable like that (even though my daughter is). Are nursing mothers expected to "hide out" in places simply so other people can be "more comfortable".

Some of the things the woman on DR PHIL arguing AGAINST breast feeding in public said, were:

"I don't find it very flattering/appealing" - I don't understand why this is even an issue. I don't find mullet haircuts flattering or appealing, but should we round up all bogans and make them wear hats whilst out in public so we don't have to be subjected to their hairstyles? It's just ridiculous IMO. Also - a mother isn't just hanging out her breast and walking around...she's taking it out for a reason.

"I don't like it all up in my face...I don't like to see it" - My simple response would be "THEN DON'T LOOK!" Most mothers are discrete about their breastfeeding...and a babies head covers most of it anyway. Some revealing tops show much more breast than a mother does whilst breastfeeding her child. You aren't required to stare at a breastfeeding mother...just simply look away. You can look away from anything you don't find pleasant...nobody can MAKE you look at it...

"It's similar to a butt-crack hanging out, or a man urinating in public" - Only, it's feeding a child. If a man is in a very public place, there's bound to be a public toilet around for him to pee in. If he's out bush...peeing in the open shouldn't be that bad because it's likely nobody is around to see it anyway. A man can also hold in his pee...babies will cry just as soon as they want to be fed..they don't understand the "just a minute while I find a parent room" line. I also think that if a mother travelled around a shopping centre in search of a parents room to feed her baby in whilst the baby is screaming due to hunger, many people would give her just as many "tut tut" looks are they would if she were breastfeeding. At least if she's breastfeeding, her child is happier quicker.

"Just go do it in the bathroom" - The woman on Dr Phil who was PRO breast feeding in public said it best: "You wouldn't want to eat your sandwich whilst sitting on a toilet." I also think it's quite difficult to manage to hold a baby whilst sitting on a toilet seat...as well as quite unsanitary. And of course there's the line-ups in the toilets! You'd be waiting FOREVER with your screaming bub...getting evil stares from all around. And how angry would the other toilet-goers be if they knew you were using the toilet as a SEAT and not for what it was designed for?

Another reason I think breastfeeding in public is perfectly fine is that bottle-feeding mothers can bottle-feed anywhere they like without getting death-stared. (I bottle feed my daughter btw).

ALSO - parents rooms in smaller shopping centres or similar smaller public areas, often only have ONE seat and a change table. There's not enough room in them for TWO mothers and TWO prams and TWO screaming babies...not to mention any other children the mother might have. Sometimes women just HAVE to feed their child elsewhere.

SO...what are your opinions on this...and please, don't attack anyone personally...

**reAllytee** · 14-03-2006 00:20

Im not really worried about it & cant see all the fuss although admittedly i can understand their point as we arent exactly taught to accept it nowadays are we (?).
I bottlefeed & do get looks im just waiting for the day that someone actually dares say anything about it LOL. So i can understand why bf women get upset when all they are doing is feeding their baby.
I never realised that was such a bad thing nowadays whichever way we feed our bubbas apparently starving them would fare better LOL

**pegasus** · 14-03-2006 00:26

After feeding my son for 16months, I get that there is a discreet way to do it.

If there was another option, I didn't feed him in public. Usually that was as much for him as it was for me - he would get very distracted and not feed well. I ended up (if I had to feed him in public) using a wrap or something like that to cover him and me up.

I've seen women walking through shopping centres and feeding at the same time - to me that is too far - if you wouldn't give a bottle to your child at that time, why should you give a breast?

My reasons for not feeding in public (unless I had to as stated before) were for my baby (who was very distractible), for other people (those who would feel uncomfortable) and for me (this was a special time for me and bub and I didn't want to do the feeding just when convenient - it was planned around when he needed it).

I did use parent's rooms, or would make sure I fed bub before going out and when we had visitors (or were at other's houses) I would go into another room. This was never because I felt ostracised, but my personal choice and how I felt comfortable feeding my son.

**Ana Gram** · 14-03-2006 00:30

I never breast fed in public when I was breast feeding. I wasn't comfortable with anyone even in the room with me and I hated it when they invited themselves to watch, I should have just sold tickets. I, personally, am not comfortable in the immediate company of a woman breastfeeding. However I am fine with women breastfeeding in public. Much better than a screaming child!

**mum24** · 14-03-2006 00:31

The argument the anti-bf woman made was that it was " unattractive " to her. Great, so you're either NOT gay or you don't have children. Tha anti-bf woman also complained that bf women take their tops off to bf... um... hello... no we don't!!! We do discreetly lift up our tops the side that baby will feed from and then all that is seen is the fleshy part of the breast. The same fleshy part that is exposed when a woman wears a bikini top. S'pose she finds bikini tops unattractive too!!! The real underlying phobia in all this is the exposure of... THE NIPPLE... the very part that is hidden by baby.

Yes the breast is mainly seen as a sexual/sensual object but let's not forget the Primal reason for the breast and lets not " hide " away the natural function either. Education is the freedom not banishment to the sewer/tiolet.

**JnA** · 14-03-2006 00:37

I started out wearing a shawl type thing that covered me and bubs very well. Then it started to get hot and she would sweat under the shawl, so I have discarded the shawl. Now I try to go to parents rooms for a feed or, if I am going to be in a cafe' I will always choose a table that is in the back so if I have to feed, not many people can see it. At friends places I just go ahead and feed though.. even in mixed company.. I usually just say, "Excuse me I have to feed my bubs, I hope no-one minds". That gives anyone the opportunity to either say something, leave the room or avert thier eyes... so far it's worked well.

I've seen women walking through shopping centres and feeding at the same time -

I'm trying, but I can't see how that would work very well.. maybe I just have no imagination.. or a large baby, but I couldn't walk and feed properly at the same time.

**pegasus** · 14-03-2006 00:54

Have to admit Tash - I watched the (only a couple of ladies I've witnessed do this) in amazement. Whenever I fed my bub, I was always so conscious of how much time he spent on each side and have to admit, I get distracted as much as him. But...it is possible, I swear I wasn't lying when I said I've seen it.

**Baby Girl** · 14-03-2006 00:56

I once fed DD2 while doing the grocery shopping - very funny and quite a juggling act!! I had to be in 3 places at once so didn't have time to sit and feed so we did it on the run....

Kids gotta eat - mum's got the goods - bugger everyone - feed that baby!!

Breasts were originally put there for feeding our offspring (most females animals have them), it is only society that has turned them into a sex toy and made it "unacceptable" for them to be shown in public being used for their original purpose - how pornographic

Yet very little offence is taken to titty mags being displayed out front of shops.....makes no sense to me!!

**JnA** · 14-03-2006 01:00

I wasn't suggesting that you were.. I believe you.. I just can't imagine or do it myself.. I'm just not that talented.

Thinking about it, it would make things easier... If I could co-ordinate holding with one hand and sweeping with the other.. I could get much more done around here

**pegasus** · 14-03-2006 01:46

It's okay Tash - I wasn't thinking you were having a go at me. Think I have to learn to curb my sarcastic wit a bit sometimes (I think it's wit - to others it's probably just annoying).

Have to admit, by the end of the time that I was feeding my son, we both able to do a lot more other things at the same time, but walking through a shop at the same time wasn't one of them.

I'll be interested to see if my ease of feeding carries over for number 2 - however, I never count my chickens, so I'm expecting to start slowly again. My mum told me I was her hardest to feed (and I was her third one!).