Parents Approval

[Gribel]

Hi All

just wondering if any of you Mum's (Dad's?) are seeking the Approval / Recognition from your own Mum/Parents on being a good Parent??
My DS is nearly 1, and as a single Mum (living with my Mum) I'm trying really hard to keep everything together and work (at the moment 4 days a week) so we can keep a decent lifestyle while my mum looks after DS. HOWEVER in the last 11 months I have had not one word of recognition from her that I am a good mum and/or doing a good job as a parent...mind you, she has'nt had anything bad to say either, but she does makes little (negative) remarks every now and then. Nothing to worry me, but still...it would be nice to hear from HER that I am a good mum .....
I'm, pretty confident that I am doing the right things at the most of times, DS is the perfect child, sleeps thru, eats well, is always happy, etc......
And sometime it seems that she is my sons mum, maybe because she is spending so much time with him at the moment.......

[tyler's mum]

not so much approval but i do wish i can be as good of a parent as mine where,,, my mum and dad do tell me alot that im doin a great job with tyler,,, i worry about being a single mum and doin the right thing by her,,,

i'm sure you are a great mum,,, have you though to just say to her,,, 'how do you think i'm doin as a mum' maybe she just feel she does'nt have to tell you that your doin a good job,,, i know it would be nice for her to say,,, just rememebr every time your son smile, laugh,, makes any kinda noise,,plays thats because of you and he is happy because you are being a great mummy to him,,,,

[Bewitched]

Belinda, the most important thing is that at least you know you're a good mum, i was never quite sure myself to begin with.

For years i lived as a single mum with my parents, they never gave me approval either - to my face... whenever relatives or friends asked about my daughter they said :"Your mum says you're doing well with her, or you're Dad said it was great you took her to the show last week, etc.." but they never said it to me. Do they praise you in other ways? If they do, then there may be a reason as to why they are not praising you now.

Are they happy about you working? Our parents grew up in the days where the 'woman stayed at home to mind the kids", so i find a lot of older parents think you're child is not your number one priority when you're working, my Nan told me that at times, Aaaagggh! It's nice to have recognition form your parents, i wish i had it too, but as i said before, i'm glad you know what a great job you're doing. All the best

[Gribel]

Thanks Tam,

that does help....

I did mention it a couple time (well actually every time we have a fight I bring it up) BUT I get no response from her what so ever!!!!!!

I know I'm just being picky, but ....

[rynosmum]

Although none of us need our parent's approval on our parenting skills, I know that deep down, many of us want it.

Maybe because your Mum spends so much time with Bubs, she is too conscious of her relationship with him to be able to step back and view your relationship with him.

What about asking her what her thoughts are ?

[tyler's mum]

i understand why this would upset you,,, my sister sometimes makes me feel like a bad mum she always questions everything i do with tyler,,, and never really says im a good mum,,, and it make sme upset,,, but like i said when you are unsure if you are a good mum or your mum never says it look at your little boys face and he will let you know just by looking at you

[Elfin]

I will come at this from a different perspective. I was brought up by my mother as she divorced when I was about 5 or 6. I thought she did a wonderful job and she was a great mum and I never wanted for anything. I have great memories of my childhood and we had lots of fun. Mum did have to work, I understood she had to but she was a devoted mother when not working.

At the end of the day while we want parental approval, so long as your son is happy that is all that matters. If he grows up happy and says what a great mum you were, had a happy childhood, never wanted for anything and is a decent human being who could ask for more. I would personally worry about his opinion not your mum's at the end of day. Parenting is very different from our parent's generation.


It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job bringing up a happy boy. Ignore the criticism, it is very hard being a single parent. I have full respect for the single mum's out there, you are doing the very best you can for your boy no one can ask for more

[abo84]

I agree, as long as you know you are doing a great job than thats all you really need to know, but by the sounds of it you look as though your doing a fantastic job!

I am really lucky, my mum tells me how proud she is of the great job Im doing all the time, on the other hand my DH mother couldnt pick me apart more.
But stuff her at least my kids talk to me. For now anyway, she is almost 2years and cant shut up.

[claireandbailey]

i'm really lucky too, i live with my mum and she is always telling me i;m doing a good job.
Just remember as long as u have a happy healthy baby you are doing a great job and u are a great mum and he is lucky to have you all to himself.