I think I've been ripped off with my Christmas Present

[Cordelia]

I never mentioned that I wanted a gym membership.. or that I wanted to get fit but my Mum must think i'm a big heffer because for christmas she gave me a gift voucher of a joining fee and one month's membership to a gym.

She stressed that it had cost her $250 and that I had to go and that if I thought it was worthwhile then she would continue to pay for me.

Well, i went last week. I've never been to a gym before. I felt like I was being pulled by my ears and when I got home I did the right thing, smiled and pretended it was the best thing ever.

Today she asked me if I could afford to keep going. I most definitely cannot. It's a struggle to put petrol in the car and keep food on the table. And besides, did she not say she'd continue to pay for me? It appears that she's changed her mind.

I feel really ripped off. Like someone's bought me a present that I didn't want and that I have to outlay a LOT of money for.

I don't know if I'm being selfish. And I don't know if I can bring this up with her becaues of the stress she's put on the $250 she's paid.

Anyway, I woudl just like some perspective on this. I know it seems like a silly, small thing. But I just feel so stufffed around and disrespected. And that if I don't continue the membership then I've wasted her money. araghargharh!!! FRUSTRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[our little treasures]

I would have been devastated if my mum gave me that as a present BUT I would have been grateful and if I couldn't afford to continue I would not, don't take it up with her. Your mum probably just loves you sooo much that she just wanted to start you off on doing something yourself!!

[Oblena]

If you can't afford it - you can't afford it. I would feel guilty too (about the $250), but the stress of trying to find the monthly fees would be worse. You need to explain this to her.

i think it is unfair to buy a gift that requires extra money, unless you asked for help to buy the gym membership.

I think you are b/w a rock and a hard place

[Nomsie]

Maybe your Mum was trying to think outside the box when she got that for you?

In instances like this, I think honesty would be the best policy. Just say to your Mum that you are very grateful for the gift, it was so generous to outlay so much money etc. Tell her what you didn't like about the gym, but maybe say that you will attempt to give it the rest of the month and then make up your mind.

if at the end of the month, you tell your mum it's not too bad but can't afford to pay for the rest of the year, she may continue her offer or paying. Or at least then, she will at least know that you have a legitimate reason for not continuing.

But I think let her know now before it gets to the end of the month, rather than continue the cherade of "it's great, I love it" because that you will put into a corner where if you don't want to hurt your mum's feelings, you will have no choice but to continue iykwim?!

[mazzie]

That is a LOT of money for one month's membership!!
I would just not go and probably avoid mentioning it.. Or 'strain' a muscle in your back

[missie_mack]

For me the best thing about my relationship with my Mother is our brutal honesty. Sometimes it sucks and one of us get offended but we both get over in a week or so.

So if it were me in the same circumstance I would quite clearly say to my Mum that the thought was nice but its a luxury I couldnt afford to keep up the cost of the membership at the moment. But I would try and make the most of what she has paid for

[Pauline70]

For me the best thing about my relationship with my Mother is our brutal honesty. Sometimes it sucks and one of us get offended but we both get over in a week or so.

So if it were me in the same circumstance I would quite clearly say to my Mum that the thought was nice but its a luxury I couldnt afford to keep up the cost of the membership at the moment. But I would try and make the most of what she has paid for

- are our mums long-distance sisters or relatives????? This sounds like my mum and I on a weekly basis.

At the moment I am getting the "Oh, you don't look like you did on your wedding day anymore". Damn right I don't, that was 9 years ago and I've had a baby. Having said that, 2008 is maybe the year I'd better start looking at my health a little better

[Lastcenturymum]

I would take as an encouraging present! Shes wanting to help you. Maybe she has listened to you complain about your shape/fitness?

Anyway if she offered to keep paying, what is the problem? Tell her you can't affort it and she will pay?

Im not sure why she made a point of telling you how much it cost, maybe so you didn't waste it