Eating disorder while pregnant

**diamonds22** · 10-03-2006 10:54

Hey everyone!

Okay this is a touchy one....does anyone else have/had a Eating Disorder?(ED) I would love to talk to people who have or had a ED..i'm going really well im 23wks and am putting on all the proper weight....which is soooo hard for me to deal with but I would never do anything to jeapodise my lil girl...she means the world to me already...but that dosant mean I dont stress and think about it all the time! Its really hard to bet the urges..its like a compulsive addiction. Alot of people (ie my mum have no idea about ED's..they think you can like switch it off wheneva you want...even though i've been bulimic since 13..i'm 22now! she still dosant get it..which hurts)..they dont realise its a Disease...its not a choice. Anyway I kinda just wanted to talk to anyone in the same situation as me...I find little things like pictures of Nicole Richie Almost trigger me...but for my baby I force myself not to...the only thing that keeps me going is the fact the I know straight after I have the baby i can be me again and like punish myself and work extra hard afterwards (people without ED wont understand that)

Please dont get the wrong idea about me I dont need to be ridiculed/put down for the way I am..and believe me your comments wont just magically fix me...I already have heard them all before and I have a professional helping me through my pregenancy....but I just wanted to talk to someone else that is/has been pregnant and knows exactly what i'm going through..so please PM me.

Anyway lol sorry this is sooo long...its hard to say what I want to..and its sooo hard for me to talk about it cos I dont tell anyone only my family and one bestfriend knows..i'm not proud of it....i'm deeply ashamed...more so now i'm pregnant..but remember everyone has there own demons...so please dont judge me.

Okay take care all!!

mwah

OM · 10-03-2006 10:59

I am not going to put you down or judge you at all! I just want to wish you all the luck fighting your demons and hope that at least through out your pg that you will feel a little better about yourself and please don't be hard on yourself! You are doing the right thing by getting professional help.

If you need a person to listen PM me!

**diamonds22** · 10-03-2006 11:10

That means so much to me Oscar's Mum.......your really sweet...I didnt know If I should put that post up or not....cos I was scared of negative reactions to it....which is understandable because not many people really know what its like.

Anyway..lol your kind words have already lightened up my mood!! so thank you!!

**the_queen** · 10-03-2006 11:11

You won't get judgement from me either. Just a hug

Good luck with your recovery. It sounds like you're well on your way, and I agree with Oscar's Mum, you're doing the right thing by getting professional help at this time.

Without getting into any of my personal stuff, I found that those kind of demons got a lot less "loud", a lot less "forceful" after I had my baby. Maybe it was to do with the mothering hormones kicking in, maybe it was the "I don't have time to scratch myself, let alone worry about stuff like that"

But I just found that it did get easier. They didn't disappear completely but they definately became less of a priority. I hope it's that way for you as well. I think maybe it was because I had a daughter too; it made me see my childhood a lot clearer and made me very determined to do things differently so that she wouldn't grow up with the same demons I had.
Everyone is different, that was just my experience.

Keep going matey, you're 23 weeks along already, it won't be long before you get to hold that gorgeous little girl in your arms!! And might I say, Claudia is a BEAUTIFUL name, I love it!!!

**brooke** · 10-03-2006 11:17

I just want to wish you the best of luck with fighting your demons!
Like you said it is a Disease that cant be just turned off... You will need to fight really hard to be healthy!
I had an eating disorder from when I was 9 til when I met DH at 19
I weighed only 45kgs and I am 171cms tall.. so very under weight and still thought I needed to lose more... and I know what you are saying about seeing pics of nicole richie... I have the same feelings but you just have to fight them for yourself and your beautiful bubba.... I am actually really happy now with how I am.. it is a daily struggle but I know I cant pass my bad habits and bad self body image on to my daughter she deserves better than that!

Like you said nothing we can say will help you.. you have to want to help yourself! It also helps to have lots of love and support from my family... My DH would never let me get like that again...
Bet of luck with everything.. remember you deserve to be happy and your daughter deserves to have a happy and healthy mother as her role model!

**JodieC** · 10-03-2006 12:15

those demons will be with you always but you can 'reason' with them sometimes. My lowest was 43kg (im 165cm) and i had people nagging me to eat constantly but it wasnt til my fiance said something that i finally started eating again, i just didnt want him to think i was ugly so i gained some weight. Now ive put on heaps since i got pregnant with my baby, sometimes i think of how easy it would be just not to eat but then i remember that im trying to breastfeed and so i have to eat so hes healthy. Maybe just try and remind yourself that your baby needs it.
I really do wish you the best of luck, if you ever need someone to talk to im available most times so you can PM me

**Baby Girl** · 10-03-2006 13:07

Congratulations for thinking of your unborn bub and getting the help you need to get through a healthy pregnancy. I couldn't think of a better reason to try and beat your demons than giving birth and raising a beautiful little girl. Please keep up the professional help after bub is born as she will need you to be 100% healthy to feed her and keep up with her as she grows.

Good luck, big

I can only imagine how hard it is for you to talk about it and deal with the emotions that you are feeling. Big big

**Percy** · 10-03-2006 14:26

Certainly no judgement from me either. I have had two really close friends who have been through it to, so i can sympathise with you. I cant pretend to understand how hard it must be, but i really wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy and i wish you the best of luck. You are really brave for confronting your issues.

p.s claudia is a beautiful name. everything will be so worthwhile when you hold her in your arms!

**shinebrite** · 10-03-2006 15:03

Hey NO judgement from me either!!! U shouldnt get juged in a place like this anyway!

I havent got a ED but i know how it feels to be smaller and to one day wake up a couple of sizes bigger being pregnant, Im a pretty small build and have not really struggled with weight before.

And sometimes i find myself not eating because i dont want to b one of those "Fat pregnant ladies" (IM NOT PUTTIN ANYONE DOWN HERE OK!) its hard cause u cant just go to the gym and fully push ur heart out there (Im a snowboarder so have to be fit) so ive been goin swimming and finding it SO relaxing and things like that, Im also asthmatic so obviously if im running crazy my baby isnt getting oxygen so Im not allowed to walk far distances while being PG...

Anyway my point is KEEP going strong! our mind is SUCH a powerful thing and if it can pursuade us to look at pictures of nicloe ritchie and think... I wanna b her. Our mind can do the opposite, just like ur doing!!!! and U sound like ur coping REALLY well!!!! if u want a young mum2b to talk to then im all ears!!!!!

U can Pm or add me to ur messenger list....

HTH

**SassyMummy** · 11-03-2006 00:10

I really want to congratulate you for trying your best to be better for the wellbeing of your bub. Some mothers even continue smoking throughout pregnancy...IMO, an ED is much more difficult to give up (or at least, improve on). So good job for being so strong and such a difficult time!

I would like suggest, however, that you do continue getting help after your little one is born. If you breastfeed, you'll never all the food you can get, and even if you bottlefeed, it would be healthier for little Claudia to see her Mummy eating healthily and recognise that eating is not a bad thing. It would also be great for her to learn that if you do have a problem, if you work hard you can overcome it. I have no doubt you will continue to do the best for your little girl.