Unwanted Thoughts cause more Anxiety

**macca27975** · 16-12-2007 17:05

Hi, just wanted to know if anyone has suffered a similar situation and how you have dealt with things.

About 3 months ago I had a panic attack and with that attack came a stupid thought and since then I have been thinking and thinking no stop ever since. I look on the net and search this thought and I know it is not true and not something I desire, but it has put the fear of god in me and the more I think the more I am looking for answers and the more I get anxious and nervous. I worry about things I see and places I go and even my relationship with my DH and this is what fears me most, the thought of this obsessive thought breaking up what I know and love with my DH.

My psycologist tells me this thought is a fear, but I am making it into an obsession and I need to stop thinking.

DH & I have been going through a few stresses of late and this doesn't help matters, but the stresses seem to have settled a bit but the thoughts are still coming, the only time they are not is when I am occupied with other things, like work or going out with DH or other family functions, I guess these are call safe places, but at home I am going and going and surfing the net is the only thing I seem to do that I think helps, but I can't stop.

I am going to the gym and I am trying to get new intrests in my life, and think of other things but this is hard and I am getting really anoyed and I want it to stop and stop now and I really need to stop searching the net, it is like I am looking for reassurance. I have never had this before will I have but not as long as I have this time round, but I guess I am the only one that can stop it, but man I want someone to stop it and tell me I am not going crazy or my obsessive thoughts could be true.

**threeangels** · 17-12-2007 08:55

Hang in there...2008 is just around the corner & will hopefully bring good things to us all

May I ask what the thoughts are that you're having?

**macca27975** · 17-12-2007 15:04

That is true 2008 is just around the corner and maybe just maybe it will bring better things.

I know it is silly, but when I had the panic attack the thought of being gay caused me to panic more and now everything I do, see or think I think of this and what if and how do you know and all that and all I know and have known for the last 31 years and especialy the last 14 years with my husband I doubt and worry about. I know it is silly but this thought really scares me and I would hate for it to be true, but I can't understand how it could be. I feel like a mouse on a wheel

**Meemo** · 18-12-2007 23:45

Oh hun... First and foremost BIG

to you...
I know what you mean about 'obsessive thoughts', I have them all the time and try to push them to the back of my mind. Sometimes though they rear their ugly head, and then the mind starts racing, and iit is so hard to make it stop... When I have calmed down I can't believe the irrational thoughts that I have... And the way they make me feel... It's the worst feeling in the world...

Especially when you over-analize things and then beat youself up for having them..
Unfortunately I have no 'real' advice for you, but I know 'those' thoughts are pretty normal in most people.
There is always an aspect of curiosity...
You have had it so tough for so long, it's understandable for you to think about 'everthing'. Maybe you're over-analizing things? Looking for answers on the net, when only you can provide the answers? Or maybe there is more to it? Maybe your masking something else you're really worried about?
I don't even know what I'm talking about... Does any of it make sense?
Sorry I'm rambling!!!

I'm here if you need a chat...
Take care hun...
x x

**Chickadee** · 19-12-2007 02:34

**Disclaimer: I'm no pyschologist**
Have you tried challenging the thought with your psych using a CBT process?

Have you considered taking a break from the internet for a few weeks, to break the pattern & habit of searching for information? I find that I'm easily addicted to computer games, no matter how much I tell myself I don't have time, I will start to play them even when I'm supposed to be doing something else. One of the best solutions I've found is to have a complete break from the computer for awhile.

Good luck

**Ruby Slippers** · 19-12-2007 09:13

**secondtimearound2** · 19-12-2007 09:29

Oh Hun I know sorta how you are feeling. I too suffered silly thoughts and feelings.

I'm no psychologist

These are things that help me.

Deep breath through the attack and ride it like a wave rather than fighting it. Tell yourself you know what is happening and it will pass soon. Make yourself a cup of chamomile tea a sip on it.

I would also discuss at counseling the thoughts your having.

Have a break from the puter too like what chickadee suggested may help as well. Turn it off and go out instead. I have them less when I am out of the home.

I hope it all passes soon for you Hun

Have a happy and safe feastive season

**Emcee** · 16-04-2008 14:26

easiest way to find out, go watch some girl and girl action and see if u are turned on by it in anyway if you realise that your not, u are not gay... u will be re assured in no time. im not saying neccesarlly go get porn, no there was this movie that was on tv i cant remember what its called oh wait... something like iam a cheerleader and theres this girl who doesnt know if shes gay or not anyway theres some scenes in there of kissing etc, or basicly just imagine to yourself of being intimate with a girl what does it tell u if the answer is no i could never do that with a girl then ur cured, but if its yes maybe you just need to let whatever u feel just be for now, dont be scared of it if its true theres nothing wrong with you.

**macca27975** · 27-04-2008 10:14

Thank you to all for your advice, but I must admit over the last few month it has been hard, but with a little hard work from me and talking to my councellor, things are so much brighter. It is true what they say, if you remove the anxiety you can see things so much clearer and sometimes what your fear/think has nothing to do with the anything, it is a symptom of the disorder, like anyone that has silly thoughts when they panic, once they calm down and look at the big picture they can see how strange it was and maybe even look back and laugh at themselves.

Stress is a big factor and I found when the stress slowed and I readjusted, then what I knew for the last 31 years is the truth.

Anxiety can be helped and you can deal with it and live with it, but it does take time and a lot of hard work and sometime you will take step backs before you move forward, but I am so much happier today, I still get those fearful thoughts in my head, but I know can get rid of them as fast as they come in.