Concern for neice and nephew - help?

**Amiejamie** · 10-12-2007 13:13

hi I am not a mum yet so hope you don't mind me posting here.I'm just a little concerned about my neice and nephew,they are Neice 7 months and nephew 3 years of age.Recently had a family get-together and notice that the 3 year old dosn't play with his cousins who are 4(girl) and 5(boy) respectively.Their mum dosn't belong to a social or playgroup for the kids.They are SOooooooo quiet and you never hear a peep out of any of them. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.The baby is ultra quiet - I have never heard her cry or whinge or whatever and the boy just plays with his toys on his own - with no interaction when I am there.He has a lot of toys but just happy and content to talk amongst himself.As a sister in law, (and not a mum) I suppose I don't have much of a say. They have older siblings - 12 year old sister, 19 year old brother and a 9 year old brother.My SIL just keeps to herself.Is this damaging for her children?It would be soooo good to see them in some type of playgroup or pre-school.Mum dosn't work and is a SAHM.thanks ladies!Amie

**bubbleyblossom** · 10-12-2007 13:17

Hi Amie, welcome to Bub Hub. I'm not a mum either so dont feel like you dont belong.
I understand your concern for your niece and nephew, they doseem to be rather quiet. I work inchildcare and you do see children who act like this, and what we do is just encourage interaction between other children, wedont force itwe just encourage. I dont thin k it is really damaging her children, she may not feel she can join something like this. Have you suggested a playgroup? Or asked if she'd like you to go to one etc?
You saythat as a sister in law with no chn you dont feel you have much of a say, I guess you could just make some suggestions about enrolling the kids in a playgroup but not telling her you are worried if that makes sense?
Hope all goes well,

**punkbaby** · 10-12-2007 13:34

They are still young my ds wont play with other children until he wants too, he will interact quiet freely when his ready too, dd is more out there and outgoing. Kids need social interaction but to be honest I havent been a part of a playgroup at all, i cant stand the "we wont accept you or we are too posh for you etc" attitude. DS opened up a fair bit when he went to kinder but his shy in general where as dd2 is little miss confident, she loves playing with other kids and she hasnt been to playgroup etc at all ever! I wouldnt say its damaging though maybe your sister is shy like me or she doesnt want to put up with the nastiness of it all going to playgroups.

They go to kinder and soon settle in quickly then school comes as well. It does take a little longer though but i think thats what kinder is for to learn

i normally take my kids for an ice cream at maccas once a week they play with other kids there, then the park they get that social scene as well too even the pool. There are lots of ways your kids can learn to share and play i think

you dont need playgroup. I might not have any freinds where i am as i have just moved here but the kids do when we go out for the day etc at the park, pool, etc

**SmileyBJ** · 10-12-2007 16:56

I don't think this is a problem... Mum also kept to herself as we lived on a property with no phone and dad worked away from home. Both my brother and I were so quiet you never heard a single thing coming from either of us. Ive turnt out perfectly fine though & still have the social skills and plenty of friends.

**our3boys** · 10-12-2007 17:02

it is quiet common for a two year old to just want to play amunst themselves and not to want to interact with other children much there is nothing wrong with that at all and for the baby she must be lucky she has such a laid back baby thats wat all mums hope for.

**TeamAwesome** · 10-12-2007 17:58

sounds like two normal kids to me.... every one is different as are babies and kids...
A friend of mine her 3yo barely said a word in front of anyone apart from her mum (wouldnt' answer us either if we asked her something) only hung off her mum etc and she does go to playgroup! Going to playgroup won't make him more "social" any more then going to macca's will make him a cheeseburger.

I was a very quiet girl I would take my own toys and amuse myself, my mum being a rather social person herself took me to playgroup enrolled me in kindy etc and I'd only "come out of my shell" when I was ready.

I bet they are different when you are around to at home anyhow.

ETA:I'd say they are just very loved and feel very secure with their parents.