I wish I had listened to the doctor!!

[secondtimearound2]

When My Son was 6 months old I went to the doctor and was told I had PND. He gave me meds, I started them and felt very ill so stopped them. I didn't bother going back to him and changed doctors. I knew there was something wrong with me and thyroid runs in my family and my Dad has had 2 brain tumors removed. I had blood tests done and they came back perfect and I also had a ct scan...which was normal also. I started having really bad anxiety attacks that started of a night. I couldn't sleep and felt like something really bad was going to happen. Then not long later I was having them all day. I couldn't eat, I just felt so so sick. I couldn't think I truly felt like I was on drugs. I went to my doctor after the third day of not sleeping, eating and I was truly a mess. We had a long talk and I just cried and cried. She explained to my that I have PND and that it is OK I will be "normal" again.

I have been on lexapro for nearly a month and feel so much better. I have had 3 sessions of counseling which is also helping me. I have post traumatic stress syndrome ($hitty up bringing-a lot of trauma) also a bit of OCD (me controlling what I can) also finacial stress. It really was bound to happen and I wish I had done more and learnt more about it when I was first diagnosed. I had this vision that PND was when you wanted to hurt your children and stay in bed all day. I know now that is not the case.

I have everything I always wanted. My husband is fantastic and I have 2 healthy happy kids. I couldn't understand why I felt so terrible when really I had everything I had ever dreamed about.

The feeling and thoughts I have experienced were so real and hurtful. I couldn't get passed anything in my head and would just cry for no known reason. I was in hell and you know what... if I have to stay on meds for the rest of my life to avoid ever going back to those horrid feelings and thoughts I really don't care anymore. I have told people around me what I have and again to be honest I don't really care if they think it's all in my head and to just snap out of it. They have no idea what I have been through and what I was feeling.

I seen a pole on here about do you think PND exits? some people said no. I think that is really sad. It is real and it is HELL. I never want to go that low ever again and I would not ever wish it on anyone.

Gee this is going to be a long post. If anyone reads this thanks for listening. I guess just writing about things also helps the healing process.

Take care all mwah

[macca27975]

Good for you and I am so proud of you and you should be proud of you too. thank you for sharing your story and I agree PND is real, just cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it is not there.

I don't have kids as yet, but I suffer a lot from the same things you have mentioned and it is not fun and stress is a big factor. TTC doesn't help matters and then family and life stresses ontop don't help, but you do what you can and if that means some medication then so be it. I am not on meds at this stage, just seeing a psycholgist and she helps, but at times I do feel like a yo yo. The unwanted thoughts that you can't make heads or tales of, you know they are untrue, but they are fears and you still get upset with them and they don't help matters.

thank you for sharing your story, it gives hope to people like me and it is true, I need to sit back and look at what I have and be happy with what I can control and not obsess about things out of my control or false. thank you and well done and keep up the good work

[punkbaby]

I had this vision that PND was when you wanted to hurt your children and stay in bed all day. I know now that is not the case.

You know, thats why it took 6 years for me to find out that i had PND i thought i was just being silly as i had really bad anxiety and panic attacks, i wasnt depressed, i never had thoughts about hurting my children etc it was the anxiety for me. I felt so relieved when i know that it was normal, YES i had pnd it was normal there was a name for it! I also thought pnd was a dirty word till i had my second bubs, silly as that sounds but it was just society and people around me who told me it was all in my head and i was being silly blah blah etc etc.

Its great to hear that you are getting somewhere, having a supportive gp and counsellor can do wonders!

Thanks for sharing

[secondtimearound2]

Thanks for your reply Rebbeca. I am feeling alot better now. It's going to take time to heal and deal with all the underlining issues I have. I am going to beat this and be even stronger then what I was.

We have been through what you and your partner are going through. We also miscarried 3 angles and was close to giving up cause of the hurt and pain we sufford. I'm sending you lots of sticky baby vibes and letting you know you are not alone

LOL Jennifer I didn't either...we know how real it is and it's more then just having a bad day. I am feeling more like the old me everyday


Punkybaby thats why it took me so long to get help. I just didn't know enough about it till it knocked me for 6. Anxiety would have to be the worst and the silly but very real thoughts and feelings that go with it.
Do you live in Mel?? We should catch up if we are close. I would love to meet you and your kiddos. I have a nearly 3 yr old and a 14 month old. Only if you want and when you feel ready.

[punkbaby]

I was in melbourne now i am in gippsland, it was the only way we could afford a house and as i have family in melbourne and in east gippy i thought i would move central. Would love to catch up if ever i head down to melbourne when i get down there again (i still have really bad anxiety about accident so when i drive to melbourne i avoid it as much as possible as i just hate being in the car)

[Ruby Slippers]

[secondtimearound2]

I was in melbourne now i am in gippsland, it was the only way we could afford a house and as i have family in melbourne and in east gippy i thought i would move central. Would love to catch up if ever i head down to melbourne when i get down there again (i still have really bad anxiety about accident so when i drive to melbourne i avoid it as much as possible as i just hate being in the car)

I'm in Cranbourne North Hun. So not that far ...But I know what's like with a new born. When you feel up to it we will organise something.

[punkbaby]

I'm in Cranbourne North Hun. So not that far ...But I know what's like with a new born. When you feel up to it we will organise something.

Oh cool your not that far really apparently the pakenham bi pass is open now and its only about 1 hour to dandy now and it will do me good to get in the car i think so i can beat it
Maybe we could like meet at dandy or something if ever your down this way though hollar