When My Son was 6 months old I went to the doctor and was told I had PND. He gave me meds, I started them and felt very ill so stopped them. I didn't bother going back to him and changed doctors. I knew there was something wrong with me and thyroid runs in my family and my Dad has had 2 brain tumors removed. I had blood tests done and they came back perfect and I also had a ct scan...which was normal also. I started having really bad anxiety attacks that started of a night. I couldn't sleep and felt like something really bad was going to happen. Then not long later I was having them all day. I couldn't eat, I just felt so so sick. I couldn't think I truly felt like I was on drugs. I went to my doctor after the third day of not sleeping, eating and I was truly a mess. We had a long talk and I just cried and cried. She explained to my that I have PND and that it is OK I will be "normal" again.
I have been on lexapro for nearly a month and feel so much better. I have had 3 sessions of counseling which is also helping me. I have post traumatic stress syndrome ($hitty up bringing-a lot of trauma) also a bit of OCD (me controlling what I can) also finacial stress. It really was bound to happen and I wish I had done more and learnt more about it when I was first diagnosed. I had this vision that PND was when you wanted to hurt your children and stay in bed all day. I know now that is not the case.
I have everything I always wanted. My husband is fantastic and I have 2 healthy happy kids. I couldn't understand why I felt so terrible when really I had everything I had ever dreamed about.
The feeling and thoughts I have experienced were so real and hurtful. I couldn't get passed anything in my head and would just cry for no known reason. I was in hell and you know what... if I have to stay on meds for the rest of my life to avoid ever going back to those horrid feelings and thoughts I really don't care anymore. I have told people around me what I have and again to be honest I don't really care if they think it's all in my head and to just snap out of it. They have no idea what I have been through and what I was feeling.
I seen a pole on here about do you think PND exits? some people said no. I think that is really sad. It is real and it is HELL. I never want to go that low ever again and I would not ever wish it on anyone.
Gee this is going to be a long post. If anyone reads this thanks for listening. I guess just writing about things also helps the healing process.
Take care all mwah