advice needed asap!

[littleboritto]

Hi I'm new, my names Bec.

I've just recently found out that I'm pregnant to my boyfriend. I have just turned 21 and he is turning 21 in Jan. My boyfriend took the news pretty well and has decided to support me in whatever we both decide is the the right decission for us.

We would love to go through with the pregnancy but the problem is that we are not financially stable right now. I am currently looking for fulltime work as I'm working part time and he also is working part-time and is about to year 12 again ( he dropped out a couple of years ago and had decided to get his VCE after all). We don't really want to go on centerlink but we feel we will obviously have to, but were scared that that may not even be enough money to raise a child for the first few years until he finishes uni after year 12 ( 3 year from now) and is able to start his career.

Ofcorse there is other options such as termination and adoption. I do not want to give my baby up for adoption nor do I want to have to terminate either.

We both really want to be able to raise this baby together but are just fearful that financially we will not be able to cope.

Any adivce on this mater would be great as I'm already 6 weeks into the pregnancy and I need to make up my mind with what I'm choosing to do asap. My mum and sister know about it had have given adive and so has a couple of close friends but I'm just needing some adivce from more of an objective point of view.

Thanks for reading this,

Bec

[workin'mumof2]

first of all big hugs. im sure it was a shock from what i read.

Centerlink even though u dont want to go on it will help you a great deal they help people who need it.

In regards what u should do. its up to you no one can really say for sure but just think of it this way

if u did abort would u regret it?
if u did put the baby for adoption would u regret it?

From the sounds of it your family will also support you either way.

[littleboritto]

I dont mind going on centerlink all that much. Im just worried that that money that i will be given to help out may not even be enough thats all. My best friend chose to have a baby with her fiance, she is 20 and seven month pregnant and she is finding it financially hard also with her not working and just on centerlink payments and her fiancee on apprentachip wages. It's good to know that if I choose to follow through with the pregnancy that she will be going through the same thing as me, but I just worry too much I spose.
Having a termination or giving it up for adoption is one of the things I am very worried that I may regret because my boyfriend and I had decidede to get engaged after he has finished with Uni in a few years before we found out.
I know there are many joys of being a parent and I know I will get a lot of support from both my and my boyfriends family, It's just new to me and I am worried that things won't work out to standards and all hell will break lose lol.

[*babygirl*]

firstly it IS a massive shock to the system... my only advice is this:

dont let money be a factor.

i know its easier said than done but there are some AMAZING parents on here who live ONLY on centrelink *single parents* and they have a beautiful baby to love everyday. centrelink do provide enough to live on... im a single parent and i get close to 400 a week... it doesnt sound like alot but it covers the basics...

i hope u find a path that takes u where u want to go... it is SOOOO worth it. i would do it a million times over for the love you get back.

[OneNowOneLater]

I definantly agree with Natasha above me. I also get about 400 a week on centrelink. I get by financially. sure, its tight, but IMO its worth it, just to see my little girls smile every day.

As for your friends financial struggles, even though she's finding it hard now, it will get easier once she has the baby. Completely disregard the maternity allowance for a moment, her payments will go up a bit. cos at 20, she'd be getting what, about $220 per fortnight? I get more than that on my small week. So, as i said, her payments should, theoretically, go up once she's had bubs. So would yours.

IMO, living without a baby is just as hard, if not harder, financially, than living with one. sure, you have to buy nappies etc, but there are places where u can get stuff like that in bulk/factory seconds, that cut down the costs dramatically! I'm sure plenty of people here would agree with me on that.

[SmileyBJ]

Well firsty... to you and your partner, & remember that nobody else can make the decision for you.

Just wanted to let you know that your partner may be entitiled to have extra support since he is studying, and if you budget right things are sure to work out. Babies dont need the best of the best, Love and care is the most important.

I choose to keep my baby as I knew that there would be no way I'd ever get over the thought of an abortion or adoption and it was the best option for me... but it purely is a personal choice and for some people this can work out for the better.

Think about all your options and find out as much information needed as possible. Things will always work out okey if your willing to work for them... Just make sure both you and your partner have people who support you and are willing to talk things through...

[Acacia]

Hi Bec.

Financially the toughest bit is getting yourself set up for the baby before the bub is born because centrelink don't give you extra money till bubs is born. It is very achievable. Second hand baby things are very common. Op shops often have plenty of baby clothes, and once you start telling people you are pregnant, you will be suprised how much stuff is offered to you. Ebay was great for me, as i found lots of bargins, as well as op shops, friends, garage sales and the tender centre. I would suggest buying something each fortnight and also taking advantage of xmas and birthdays and asking family members for baby related stuff.

I have found that i don't spend much money at all (my son is 10 months). I use cloth nappies and breast feed so there is little expense. I have been putting money aside each fortnight in preparation for when he starts needing more things, such as school supplies. I also have put the baby bonus in a savings account in preparation for school, or any emergancies that pop up along the way.

You and your partner should both get rent assistance too..that is a big help.

I think the most important thing is support from family. You are very lucky to have that, and im sure that they will all be willing to help out where possible.

If you want to keep this pregnancy than it is very do able . If you want to pm me than feel free. Im happy to point you in the direction of some bargins!

[sandy_1902]

with what the others are sayig

dont let money in the equation. sorry i dont have any different advice.
good luck and congrats

[littleboritto]

Hey guys,

Thankyou so much for all the advice you have given me it has helped a lot believe it or not lol.

My boyfriend and I ave chosen to have the baby now that we believe we are able to raise a child mostly on centerlink for now. My friend who is also pregnant has also given me a lot of information on it all also which has helped too.
I guess I'm gonna have to take all of this one day at a time

[SmileyBJ]

Congratulations to you both!! You will be a wonderful mum. Hope all goes well in the coming months!!

Come and join the young mums chat thread if you like!