so proud of myself

[bubs_and_us]

Well, i finally did it. i have written to the hospy i birthed at and requested my medical records.......

i've been putting it off and off, but i have decided now i cant move forward without dealing with some of the emotions i still feel.

i need to know where things started to go so wrong, and WHY.

im feeling really nervous now, and im not sure what i'll do with the records once i finally get them. i dont even know if i will read them straight away. its daunting for me.

i know that by reading them, i will most likely be reminded of the whole experience again, and possibly learn things that i have no recollection of. i think this will be distressing for me.

who else has done this? have you found it helped you to heal, or just dug up upsetting memories?

['Rene'sMumma']

Hey There,

Good on you for having the courage to have them sent to you. I don't have much advise to pass on to you but I have also applied to have my records sent to me after a traumatic birth. I feel I deserve to know exactly what happened considering they took so much else away from me.

lots of hugs and encouragement to you and If you want to chat when you get the records or at any time please feel free to contact me.

[Mischief]

Congratulations on finding the strength to do this!

I hope you find the answers you need! XX

[kadownie]

that's great!

It might be worthwhile finding a midwife who can go through the records with you- to look at what it says objectively, explain terms etc..

[punkbaby]

Well done i am sure even though its going to bring up the past it will also be some sort of closure, sounds silly but it does help finding out the truth!
Good luck

[BeautifulBoys]

Well, i finally did it. i have written to the hospy i birthed at and requested my medical records.......

i've been putting it off and off, but i have decided now i cant move forward without dealing with some of the emotions i still feel.

i need to know where things started to go so wrong, and WHY.

im feeling really nervous now, and im not sure what i'll do with the records once i finally get them. i dont even know if i will read them straight away. its daunting for me.

i know that by reading them, i will most likely be reminded of the whole experience again, and possibly learn things that i have no recollection of. i think this will be distressing for me.

who else has done this? have you found it helped you to heal, or just dug up upsetting memories?

Hi
I understand how you must feel.
I too had a very traumatic time after i had my DS, I had 2 massive hemorrhages & nearly died.
Long story... however no-one gave me a straight answer so I requested all my medical notes from 3 hospitals(took me awhile)... I then found out exactly what happened during surgery etc..that saved my life.
It was great to finally know what actually
happened.It did heal some of those wounds.. sure it brought back memories but I needed to know the TRUTH!! & i deserved to know.
So do you!! all the very best you have made the decision to start healing by finding out what went wrong & why etc...

[Lissbee]

Hi, Tania - that is so great you have taken that step to get your records. For myself, it was a big part of my healing, on many levels. I went through my notes with a midwife (after not feeling like I could even open them up when I first got them!) which was great, as she explained all the terms and symbols, and also was there for me while I grieved some of the things I found in there. Such a cleansing experience. Not easy to do...but when I had done it, it felt more like "my" birth, rather than "the hospital's" birth...which is hard to explain but was really important.

I wrote the short article below for Birthtalk's Newslettter and have included it here, in case it is helpful to you.

WIthout knowing the situation of your birth, I would recommend, as you are in WA, getting on the birthrites website (www.birthrites.org) and checking out their list of support people, to find someone who can go over the notes with you. DOesn't matter if you didn't have a caesarean, they may just be able to point you in the right direction.

Here is my article...and best wishes with your healing journey,
Melissa
www.birthtalk.org

Retrieving Your Birth Records : a Healing Step

Many women who have had a difficult or traumatic birth retrieve their Birth Notes to aid in the healing process, and in preparation for a subsequent birth. Going over your notes with a midwife who understands that birth matters can be very powerful in moving a woman to a new level of healing and knowledge.

Guess what I found out!
When one woman went over her Birth Notes from her traumatic caesarean birth, translated and explained by Debby from Birthalk, she made an interesting discovery. “The notes said that I had dilated 2cm more than I had remembered! My emotions moved from anger that my body had been working so well yet still I was sectioned, to excitement to see that my body had not failed me quite as I had been led to believe. The courage and confidence boost this information gave me was palpable, and really paved the way for my journey towards my empowering vbac.”

Now I know what to grieve

Seeing in black and white the progress of what may have been a traumatic experience can be a difficult thing. But it may allow you to pinpoint areas that you need to process and grieve over to truly heal.
One woman found just seeing her signature consenting to a caesarean to be an extremely emotive moment. She felt it signified “the end of my innocence”, and finally allowed herself to grieve for the trauma and pain that followed the birth. “Every new aspect that I allowed myself to acknowledge and grieve led me closer to healing, and making peace with the experience.”

Rewriting the Birth story

Rewriting your story with this new information from the Birth Notes can be another cathartic tool, enabling a woman to really grasp exactly what happened, and feel very certain about aspects of the birth that may have been question marks for her earlier. Some women find that this process enables them to reclaim the birth experience as their own, an important step towards healing.

How do I get my Notes?

Debby Gould from Birthtalk says, “To retrieve your notes, you will need to ask for certain information, otherwise a brief outline may be all that is offered.” To gain as much information as possible, Debby recommends writing to Medical Records at the hospital where your baby was born (there may be a fee involved so call first), & ask for your full notes including :
• progress notes
• partogram (labour record)
• theatre notes and anaesthetic record if you went to theatre
• if lots of medication- med. chart
• antenatal notes if there were any problems in your pregnancy or if they induced you for some reason
• baby notes if any baby concerns like a special care nursery admission.

Now what do I do?

If you want assistance in interpreting the notes once you have them, you are welcome to contact Birthtalk. If it is just a few points you need explained, feel free to bring your Notes along to a Birthtalk meeting, where Debby Gould, Birthtalk’s resident midwife, can give a brief rundown on your query. If you want a more in-depth exploration of “what happened” according to the Birth Notes, Debby also offers private consultations where she can sit with you and really work through the whole file, which can be extremely informative and cathartic.
©Birthtalk2007

[bubs_and_us]

well, they have arrived.

i have no idea what to do with them. they look unorganised, messy and LONG. i cant even begin to read them...... i dont know if i want to read them

has anyone got their birth records, and then not read them? or read them and then wished you hadnt?

im just not too sure what to do from here

[Leeny]

bubs_and_us... I havent got my medical records, so I cant comment on that, but I can say that you've just encouraged me to get mine. I tried to get mines back last year, but I was knocked back by the hospital.. I remember reading the article Lissbee wrote, and I remember thinking I'd try again, but I just didnt. I actutally think this week or next week I'll give it another go... I do want them, and I want to know all the details of what went wrong. Good luck with yours

[bubs_and_us]

I tried to get mines back last year, but I was knocked back by the hospital..

did they give you a reason? as far as i am aware, under freedom on info laws, you are entitled to them.....

good luck with yours, you have a right to know what happened in YOUR labour and the birth of YOUR baby!