Wants solids and not the breast!!

**fiveofus** · 21-04-2005 20:04

Hi,

Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions. We started Morgan on solids a couple of weeks ago (at 6 months) and he loves everything we give him!!! So much so that he doesn't want to breast feed anymore!! I really struggle to get 3 reasonable breast feeds into him in a day (which has been affecting my supply). One of these feeds is when I get him up for a feed before I go to bed. During the day it is nearly impossible to get him to feed - he often just pushes away. I have tried reducing the size of his breakfast and lunch solid meals, tried breastfeeding first, tried breast feeding after......any other suggestions???
I am concerned that he should be still having 4-5 breastfeeds and about his hydration - I was giving him water but have stopped that thinking that if he is thirsty he will breastfeed. I went through so much to be able to breast feed him for this long that I really don't want to stop. We are also travelling internationally soon and I don't want to have to bother with formula etc. Any ideas???

Thanks,
Morgan's Mum

**draught** · 21-04-2005 21:08

Hi
There are a few suggestions in the "Feeding - weaning and solids" thread in answer to Kat's question - "self-weaning at 5 1/2 months" - sounds like the two of you have the same problem. I don't know if any of us have helped her that much, but you might get some new ideas from the answers posted there - or at least find someone going through the same thing at the moment for support!

alicesmum · 22-04-2005 09:23

hi morgan's mum
alice went through this too at about 6 months (she is 8 mths now). she WOULD NOT feed through the day (pushed away, totally distracted by everything else). It lasted about a month....i thought she was self-weaning. Then, almost overnight, her appetite for breastmilk returned. But in the last few weeks she has started turning her nose up again (or will only feed for a minute or two). I figure that she knows what she wants (she LOVES food too). SHe is still perfectly healthy, so I just make the most of those 2 or 3 feeds (morning, night, and sometimes one short one in the afternoon).

I've heard of self-weaning a lot lately (since i've been asking about it). A fw people have told me their bub was down to 2-3 feeds by 6-8 months of age, and a couple I've heard of who fully weaned by that age, so I wouldn't worry. I reckon it probably means we don't have overly "oral" babies, so hopefully they won't have big problems later in life with comfort eating, smoking, drinking and nailbiting!!!

BTW - i usually find that feeding lying down is a little more conducive to getting her to feed (she rarely feeds while I'm sitting).

Let us know how it all goes over the next few weeks.

**Kat** · 03-05-2005 17:47

Hi Morgan's Mum,
I can so relate to this problem. I still don't really have a solution. Just when I feel ike things are settled, Phoebe gets even more adamant about breast refusal. Like you I am also worried about hydration and nutrition as I'm not interested in going onto formula at all.

Have you had any luck recently?

Kat

**lilizzysmommy** · 04-05-2005 16:57

My baby stopped breastfeeding at 3 1/2 months before she even had solids, the best advise I can give is, you did all you could and 6 months of breastfeeding is great but stop torturing your self and your baby the more you try the more he'll refuse is time to let go and try the bottle or beaker, he's outgrown the booob, it was gona happen soneer or later and unfortunately is not up to us to tell when , is up to them and obviously he had enough!
There is nothing wrong with formula and is better for your child to get it than to risk dehydration. this is not about us, is about them and this has been happening to lots of mothers for a long time and that's why there are products outthere to help keep out kids healthy when there is nothing we can do anymore. and kat I know your not intersted in formula, but did it ever ocurred to you that your child might be?

**Kat** · 06-05-2005 01:05

Originally Posted by lilizzysmommy

kat I know your not intersted in formula, but did it ever ocurred to you that your child might be?

Yes it has occurred to me exactly how much my bub might like formula. I've also considered how formula is based on cows milk and I've thought about exactly how different a cow is from a human. I've also considered the benefits of breastmilk that comes from me and is being made specifically for my baby.

It has occurred to me also that once I try formula it is probably a one-way street for us so for both of us it is not a decision to rush into.

I am in close contact with my CHN who assures me that due to my daughter's growth and happiness that she MUST be getting enough fluids and milk (I am just not as convinced as the experts that she is gettign the IDEAL amount even if she is getting enough)

so to put your mind at ease, I have made a well considered decision that does suit both of us right now....many Mums apparently experience a stage / stages of breast refusal & it settles down again...clearly if it doesn't resolve then formula will be required then

I think that everyone here has their childrens best interest at heart or they wouldn't bother coming to a forum such as this for advicem information & kinship would they?

I have considered also if in some way continuing to breastfeed was about me more than my dd & have taken a hard look at that conmcept, realised it wasn't about me but about doing what is best for my baby's health

Kat

**draught** · 06-05-2005 08:38

Good on you for thinking through the options and making the decision which is best for your daughter, even though it isn't the easiest choice. The benefits of breast milk are so well proven that it has to be worth perservering while she is thriving. You are doing a great job!

alicesmum · 06-05-2005 10:12

It's good to know that many babies go through stages. In the last few days Alice is feeding as enthusiasticly as ever. A week or two ago, she was being very difficult, but that might have been because she was getting teeth (two new ones in the last week!!!!).

Stick at it I reckon! It's so convenient...just this morning I was out somewhere with her and we were delayed longer than expected and so I just gave her a feed. (I wondered, what would I do if I ran out of formula or water and there's no shop for miles?)

**lilizzysmommy** · 07-05-2005 00:01

Well, its good to know that all went well for you. I didn't mean to sound like a b**** at all, and I'm sorry if I did. I don't want any one to think I gave up easily either. I though I would breastfeed my baby till at least one, that's how important I though breastfeeding was for my child but after a month of trying she just wouldn't give in and I was in a lot of pain as she would bite me really hard, pull my nipple with her gums and push away from me screaming (luckily she didnt have any theeth) that's how much she didnt want it anymore. I dint express milk for a another month but at the end my supply got affected and i didn't have enough anymore. So yeah, all I wanted to do is make sure that no one feels guilty if they babies dont want to freestfeed anymore, I did and then I realized that it wasn't me who decided it was enough, it was her.

**Kat** · 07-05-2005 22:51

lilizzysmommy,

Thats ok, I really feel for Mums who have had to make the decision to stop breastfeeding earlier than they wanted to as it must be a gut-wrenching decision to make.

I remember originally wanting to breastfeed for only 4 months or so, but then once we had her and had gone through all the trouble to establish feeding, not to mention realising what a sensitive little mite my girl seems to be I am going to persevere as long as its practical with bf.

The problems seem to be less - one thing I noticed was that she was always falling asleep feeding, and the times she objected to feeding were always in the day-time...so I guessed it might be her not wanting to go to sleep - so today I woke her up after a feed and let her realise that feeding didn't equal sleeping...I hope that has an effect.

I have also noticed this week that it is all about how distracting the world is - she won't feed anywhere OUT even in baby rooms (if there are other babies there) - until I start singing a familiar song and then she's straight on the boob!

Thats just what I have noticed this week. By next week it might all have changed again.

Kat