What right do I have ???

[Gribel]

Hi All

I'm a bit in a moral dilemma here......as you might know by now, I'm a single Mum to a little (11 months today!!) boy named Riley. His father, Sean, doesn't want anything to do with him (well us, really) but pays Child Support and we have no "issues" with each other. And to make things interesting, we also work together , so that's real fun at times.
ANYWAY, I know that he hasn't told his parents about Riley yet (i'm hoping that he has told his partner, since they moved in together....), and I am in 2 minds wether I should be contacting his parents and let them know. The issue I'm having that in a way I think Riley has a right to know his grand parents, but on the other hand it shouldn't be my responsibility to tell them.......

SOOOOOOOO........what are my options? What should I do? Leave it until one day it will come out (cause something like that would have to come to the surface eventually) or should I take matters in my own hands?? I don't want to be a b**** (excuse my language) towards Sean either......


What to do?????????

[polony]

I can't believe he hasn't told his parents!!! What an immature idiot!

I think you need to say to him that he needs to inform his parents and if he won't then give him the choice for either him or you to do it.

Riley has a right to know his grandparents and the fact that they don't know.... that breaks my heart as it must yours.

It sounds like you are better off without him! But maybe his parents will be the link to Riley's father that you need.

Good luck with it all!

[Lunar]

I agree, give him the choice, either he tells them or you do.
Riley has the right and so do the grandparents. I'm sure that they would be overjoyed to know they have a grandson even if they have already missed out on the first 11 months, don't make it even longer. Family is very important to children.
Good luck with it all

[MariaO]

Hi Belinda,

I agree that you should talk to Sean about this. Of course your little boy deserves to know his grandparents and vice versa. He might well (Sean that is) want to stick his head in the sand but I think you need to push him to tell his parents or your will.

[our little treasures]

I agree, give him the chance to tell his parents. Tell him if you don't tell them within a week I will speak to them myself!! MY mum doesn't see her eldest grandchild and this tears her and us as aunts and uncles apart! If you leave it too long the hurt they and your son will suffer will be worse! You seem very responsible to still be working with him!!

[claireandbailey]

hi i was in the exact situation (well sort of). My DD dad Tod didnt want anything to do with her when i was pregnant (he still doesnt really) but i felt that his family should know bout it so i emailed his brothers girlfriend and she told his family. its still really wierd and they still dont have a lot to do with bailey but i know that they love her its just hard seeing that they miss out on so much of her life and thats all her dads fault.

[Gribel]

Hi All

deep down I really want to tell them, but in a way it's a bit difficult since we have to work together and I just know that will call for trouble .........
I asked him in January if he could sign the Birth Certificate, now that the DNA Test has been sorted out, and he agreed to it. Now that I have the form and all, he's pulling out. At least I have a trump in the hand that I can drag him to Family Court again to get this sorted out. So it looks like there are more problems to come after all.

Anyway, I found out that his parents moved houses about 10mths ago, but I sent them a letter with photos and all anyway. BUT the letter came back, so at the moment I have no idea what their new address is. And I know that he wont give me their new address.

Sorry. I needed to vent a bit, since I just saw that he deleted my email re the Birth Cerificate

[LittleBoysRock]

That is a really tough one.

I would be speaking to ypur baby's father and telling him you would like DS to have an opportunity to meet hs GP's.

Goodluck!

[MariaO]

Belinda, he sounds like a right a****ole. Don't you just feeling like grabbing him by the collar and shouting "Just admit to yourself you have a son and find the joy in it you fool". It is astounding.

anyway, I can not offer any advice other than to keep the lines of communication open. Tell him that you want to contact his parents perhaps?

[Peaceangels]

It's a tough one!

I think he should definately tell his parent's, they have a right to know and Riley has a right to be a part of their lives.

I think it should be Riley's choice (when he is old enough) whether he continues to see them or not.

Even though you two are not together you still are both Riley's parent's and extended family, to a child it is important to have these people in their life.