I finally understand!

**UmmInayah** · 18-11-2007 09:45

I was always one of those women who was totally against controlled crying. I always said "I would never do that to DD"...

Well, the time has come that I have changed my mind. I can tolerate listening to her crying because I am so frustrated.

She used to sleep cat naps of 45 mins.. for a couple of days I had her in a great routine where she would sleep 1.5hours each nap, plus a 45 min cat nap in the afternoon.

This week, she has tried my patience for too long. She has been taking 30 min catnaps and only 2 of these a day! I have had it! I am doing controlled crying.

I really do feel for those mothers who have to put up with people telling them how wrong it is. When it is your last resort, you have nothing else to do. I really hope this works, though.. otherwise I know I will feel terrible. But I am going to stick to it.

**nats** · 18-11-2007 09:49

I know how frustrating it can be.
Be guided by your instincts. Do only what you feel is right

**UmmInayah** · 18-11-2007 18:02

Haha after all the stuff I said before, getting myself all psyched up about doing controlled crying, she cried for about 5 mins, and I went to see her and I couldn't handle the little shuddering type sobs you do when you cry too much

I think I might wait a while before I try it again. I guess she sleeps well at night, I shouldn't be worrying so much about her day sleeps!

Thank you, nats

**Sheer Bliss** · 18-11-2007 19:51

It's amazing how you can change your mind about things when you are going crazy enough!!

We did CC with DD when she was about 6months - it was painful and VERY hard for all of us, but she is a brilliant sleeper now. But I can't let DS cry for longer than a few minutes without going to him - weird. I don't regret doing it with her, but I know it doesn't feel right to do it with him - they are both just very different.

Don't beat yourself up about changing your mind - if it doesn't feel right then that's fine, just remember you reserve the right to change your mind at any time, but it may never feel right either.

**SalTheGal** · 18-11-2007 20:09

Hey there is a modified version of CC that I did under instruction from a sleep clinic...I have written it up and PM'ed it to other BHers before- I will PM you now.

It involves more actively helping the baby settle- but still being there to comfort them. Much easier to handle than straight out controlled crying.

**nats** · 18-11-2007 20:15

Originally Posted by UmmInayah

Haha after all the stuff I said before, getting myself all psyched up about doing controlled crying, she cried for about 5 mins, and I went to see her and I couldn't handle the little shuddering type sobs you do when you cry too much

I think I might wait a while before I try it again. I guess she sleeps well at night, I shouldn't be worrying so much about her day sleeps!

Thank you, nats

it's a wonderful learning curve

I guess she either doesn't want sleep or doesn't want to sleep without you. Would you cosider a sling to make it easier on her and you.
Way to go maternal instinct

Love you username btw. Does Umm mean 'mother'

**UmmInayah** · 18-11-2007 20:28

Originally Posted by SalTheGal

Hey there is a modified version of CC that I did under instruction from a sleep clinic...I have written it up and PM'ed it to other BHers before- I will PM you now.

It involves more actively helping the baby settle- but still being there to comfort them. Much easier to handle than straight out controlled crying.

Thank you so much, sal

I have tried patting her to sleep before, but as soon as I start patting her, she just cries harder. She is fine as soon as I turn her over and she can see me.

I will try that first the next time I feel frustrated, though. Thanks heaps!

**UmmInayah** · 18-11-2007 20:30

Originally Posted by charlis_mum

It's amazing how you can change your mind about things when you are going crazy enough!!

We did CC with DD when she was about 6months - it was painful and VERY hard for all of us, but she is a brilliant sleeper now. But I can't let DS cry for longer than a few minutes without going to him - weird. I don't regret doing it with her, but I know it doesn't feel right to do it with him - they are both just very different.

Don't beat yourself up about changing your mind - if it doesn't feel right then that's fine, just remember you reserve the right to change your mind at any time, but it may never feel right either.

Thanks charlis mum

I must say though that I feel so much more different about controlled crying.. I still haven't thought about throwing it out the window. And if anyone had asked me if I would ever try it a month ago, I would definitely have said no.

**Harlequin** · 18-11-2007 20:33

Originally Posted by SalTheGal

Hey there is a modified version of CC that I did under instruction from a sleep clinic...I have written it up and PM'ed it to other BHers before- I will PM you now.

It involves more actively helping the baby settle- but still being there to comfort them. Much easier to handle than straight out controlled crying.

Could I get a copy of that, SalTheGal?

**UmmInayah** · 18-11-2007 20:35

Originally Posted by nats

it's a wonderful learning curve

I guess she either doesn't want sleep or doesn't want to sleep without you. Would you cosider a sling to make it easier on her and you.
Way to go maternal instinct

Love you username btw. Does Umm mean 'mother'

I have an ergo

I have used it occasionally, but she will still only sleep for 30 mins in it (I tried it today) I guess she is happy between those 30 min naps, so she must be getting enough sleep!

Thanks for the comment about my name

Yes, Ummi in arabic means mother. In old arab culture people refer to mothers as Umm[first child's name]. I don't know if they still do it..

Cute, huh?